Children and punishments
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16-01-2014, 08:01 AM
RE: Children and punishments
(16-01-2014 07:14 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  ..

So, right, wrong or indifferent, my friend did the best she could in the circumstance.
Nope she didn't, only hindsight lets you choose the best course.
Children understand an unhappy face expression and the sound and meaning of "NO" from their care giver.
Picking them up and saying "No" to their face is equal to a smack in effect without the violence conditioning.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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16-01-2014, 08:07 AM
RE: Children and punishments
(16-01-2014 07:16 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(16-01-2014 07:03 AM)NoraBrimstone Wrote:  It's so tempting to go through this thread picking up quotes and replacing the word "child" with "wife" to point out how ridiculous and wrong some of you people are.

When you go to work and accidentally cock up, is it acceptable for your supervisor or whoever to spank you? What about any staff who happen to be under you? What do you think would happen if you hit them for making a mistake?
What about out in public? Someone jumps the queue in the supermarket. Do you hit them?
Yes? No? Why or why not? I'd love to fucking know.

This is abductio ad absurdum argument. No one is implying that spanking means it would e okay to cold cock your professional subordinate
I know they're not. That's the fucking point, genius. Rolleyes
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16-01-2014, 08:11 AM
RE: Children and punishments
It's funny. I see a lot of this "advice" and I'm incline to wonder how long it would be before you threw it out if you had to raise my son... or me... or my wife when we were kids.

My son is me all over again with a healthy dose of fire from my wife.

If he can get away with it, he will. No amount of talking, time outs, punishing, taking things away, etc will ever, ever, EVER affect him like a whipping.

I mean, my gosh, I remember when I was kid, the only punishment I feared was getting a whipping. I would act like the "disappointed talk" would affect me, but, on the inside, I was making fun of my parents and breathing a sigh of relief that I got off easy.

That crap never, ever worked on me. I was too smart for it... even at a young age, and so is my son.

I don't even have to whip him anymore. If he's misbehaving, all I have to do is tell him to stop. If he doesn't, without a word, I get up and go to the kitchen. He knows I'm getting the spoon. He immediately stops his negative behavior.

It is the ONLY form of discipline that works. I don't beat my kid. Anyone who knows me or has spent an extended amount of time on this forum knows that my kids are my pride and my life.

I do instill discipline in them, though. And, that includes whippings. I also know what moderation and good parenting is. After any form of discipline I explain to my kids why they were disciplined and what they did wrong.

Each kid is different. I know I'll rarely have to whip my daughter. She's far too sensitive.

But, my son... my son is completely different. Like I said, he's a clone of me... and, knowing that... he doesn't have a chance. I know every trick in the book. I know when a form of discipline is ineffective or effective. I invented manipulating to get out of a whipping to get a stern talk.

As Cathym said, sometimes negative reinforcement is necessary.

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16-01-2014, 08:21 AM
RE: Children and punishments
(16-01-2014 08:11 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  It's funny. I see a lot of this "advice" and I'm incline to wonder how long it would be before you threw it out if you had to raise my son... or me... or my wife when we were kids.

My son is me all over again with a healthy dose of fire from my wife.

If he can get away with it, he will. No amount of talking, time outs, punishing, taking things away, etc will ever, ever, EVER affect him like a whipping.

I mean, my gosh, I remember when I was kid, the only punishment I feared was getting a whipping. I would act like the "disappointed talk" would affect me, but, on the inside, I was making fun of my parents and breathing a sigh of relief that I got off easy.

That crap never, ever worked on me. I was too smart for it... even at a young age, and so is my son.

I don't even have to whip him anymore. If he's misbehaving, all I have to do is tell him to stop. If he doesn't, without a word, I get up and go to the kitchen. He knows I'm getting the spoon. He immediately stops his negative behavior.

It is the ONLY form of discipline that works. I don't beat my kid. Anyone who knows me or has spent an extended amount of time on this forum knows that my kids are my pride and my life.

I do instill discipline in them, though. And, that includes whippings. I also know what moderation and good parenting is. After any form of discipline I explain to my kids why they were disciplined and what they did wrong.

Each kid is different. I know I'll rarely have to whip my daughter. She's far too sensitive.

But, my son... my son is completely different. Like I said, he's a clone of me... and, knowing that... he doesn't have a chance. I know every trick in the book. I know when a form of discipline is ineffective or effective. I invented manipulating to get out of a whipping to get a stern talk.

As Cathym said, sometimes negative reinforcement is necessary.

Does his teachers use the same methods at school?


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16-01-2014, 08:24 AM
RE: Children and punishments
Stop trying to justify child abuse. You abuse your son. End of. You're his parent, you're supposed to be the one who protects him, not the violent cunt he needs protecting from. Has it ever occurred to you that the reason he misbehaves so much is because he is a disturbed abuse victim?
If you can't raise your child without abusing him, call CPS and have them take him to a family who will actually give a shit about his safety and wellbeing.

Congratu-fucking-lations, you've broken your child. Have fun dealing with the shitstorm of mental illness you've now made him likely to suffer when he's older. Of course, you'll probably deny responsibility for that too. Hey, he might even kill himself because of you. Well fucking done, sir.
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16-01-2014, 08:25 AM
Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 11:00 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  
(15-01-2014 10:45 PM)hotnostril Wrote:  Parents that I know that spanked and dealt out harsh punishments have teenagers that are sneaks, manipulative and fantastic liars.

You're gonna have to provide better evidence than that.

I was spanked and switched as a child. I was never a sneak (nor was I ever), I'm wouldn't consider myself manipulative, and I'm not very good liar either, though I don't see why being a good liar is indicative of bad parenting. It is a skill which could come in handy. Everyone lies. There are very good reasons to lie. "What did you think of my speech I just gave?", "Would you like to come over to my house for a party?", "How do I look?"...all times where I wish I were a better liar.

How was/is your relationship with your parents? Did you seek them out for advice, information, times of trouble? Could you be open and honest?

What I typically see...is an adversarial relationship between parents and preteens and teens. It's a critical time when the open lines of communication is critical.
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16-01-2014, 08:29 AM (This post was last modified: 16-01-2014 08:38 AM by sporehux.)
RE: Children and punishments
Parents who smack/spank/whip need to ask themselves one question.
Why am I not listening to alternatives ?

There is no shame in admitting you are conditioned to accept corporal punishment as acceptable, most of us are. But to dismiss the opinions of hundreds of studies not to mention many countries and a continents conclusion that physical punishment is ineffective and harmfull, Really is shamefull.

So unstubborn yourselves and try the non violence side of parenting for a few months and then judge your opinion of smacking.
I wont post links, use google.
Just one link
Http://www.niu.edu/ccc/resources/Spanking.pdf
"What does spanking teach your child? Number 1… spanking teaches children that violence is ok. It says that when others aren’t doing what you want them to do hitting them is the solution. When you spank you are teaching your child to be anxious and aggressive. Spanking displays to children that they are not worthy to live with the freedom from violence and aggression like adults are"

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16-01-2014, 08:32 AM
Children and punishments
(16-01-2014 08:11 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  It's funny. I see a lot of this "advice" and I'm incline to wonder how long it would be before you threw it out if you had to raise my son... or me... or my wife when we were kids.

My son is me all over again with a healthy dose of fire from my wife.

If he can get away with it, he will. No amount of talking, time outs, punishing, taking things away, etc will ever, ever, EVER affect him like a whipping.

I mean, my gosh, I remember when I was kid, the only punishment I feared was getting a whipping. I would act like the "disappointed talk" would affect me, but, on the inside, I was making fun of my parents and breathing a sigh of relief that I got off easy.

That crap never, ever worked on me. I was too smart for it... even at a young age, and so is my son.

I don't even have to whip him anymore. If he's misbehaving, all I have to do is tell him to stop. If he doesn't, without a word, I get up and go to the kitchen. He knows I'm getting the spoon. He immediately stops his negative behavior.

It is the ONLY form of discipline that works. I don't beat my kid. Anyone who knows me or has spent an extended amount of time on this forum knows that my kids are my pride and my life.

I do instill discipline in them, though. And, that includes whippings. I also know what moderation and good parenting is. After any form of discipline I explain to my kids why they were disciplined and what they did wrong.

Each kid is different. I know I'll rarely have to whip my daughter. She's far too sensitive.

But, my son... my son is completely different. Like I said, he's a clone of me... and, knowing that... he doesn't have a chance. I know every trick in the book. I know when a form of discipline is ineffective or effective. I invented manipulating to get out of a whipping to get a stern talk.

As Cathym said, sometimes negative reinforcement is necessary.

You learned what you lived and believe its good enough and necessary.

Your child doesn't learn the why, just the consequence for not obeying. Nothing is being internalized except fear and bad parenting practices.
Your child fears you and the only trust he has is you'll beat his ass when he doesn't obey.

I have a more respectful and trusting relationship with my dog. My dog is probably better behaved too.
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16-01-2014, 08:33 AM
RE: Children and punishments
(16-01-2014 08:21 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Does his teachers use the same methods at school?

Nope. That's why he got kick out of a daycare.

The second school he was in, it almost happened again. The teacher let me know that nothing she was doing was working. He wouldn't listen. He wouldn't share. He wouldn't sit down quietly.

I took him home. Tore his butt up. Explained to him that he had better listen to his teacher and do what she said. I told him he had better stay in his chair and listen and learn and he had better share with other children.

I told him if I got another bad report from his teacher, the next whipping was going to be way worse.

He got student of the week the next three consecutive weeks and several after that. His behavior was transformed. His teacher said he was like a different child.

Any more parenting advice?

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16-01-2014, 08:42 AM
Children and punishments
(16-01-2014 08:33 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(16-01-2014 08:21 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Does his teachers use the same methods at school?

Nope. That's why he got kick out of a daycare.

The second school he was in, it almost happened again. The teacher let me know that nothing she was doing was working. He wouldn't listen. He wouldn't share. He wouldn't sit down quietly.

I took him home. Tore his butt up. Explained to him that he had better listen to his teacher and do what she said. I told him he had better stay in his chair and listen and learn and he had better share with other children.

I told him if I got another bad report from his teacher, the next whipping was going to be way worse.

He got student of the week the next three consecutive weeks and several after that. His behavior was transformed. His teacher said he was like a different child.

Any more parenting advice?

What did you do before he went to daycare? Did you teach him how to share? Did you teach him how to sit still and quiet using positive reinforcement?

Seems to me you beat and abuse first then attempt to explain why he was just abused.

How's it working for you? You seem to take great pride and certainly seem to enjoy beating the boy.
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