Children and punishments
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15-01-2014, 10:36 PM
RE: Children and punishments
Having actually taken college courses in child development I'll just stick with what I learned from there. Thanks.
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15-01-2014, 10:40 PM
RE: Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 07:51 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I'm a big fan of the "not repeating"policy.

A best thing a parent can do is back up what they are going to say. If you say to your child youre going to leave the store (for example) if they don't stop and they dont...you leave your cart there and you leave. *EDIT* WITH THE CHILD *ffs*

You don't yell, you don't hit. But you have to show them you mean business, and back it up.

Yes this everytime. You can't spank a teen...better to learn the coping mechanisms while they're little.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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15-01-2014, 10:45 PM
Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 09:42 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  No one has a right to spank a baby. If we're talking newborn up to 1 1/2, you shouldn't lay a hand on it. It's a baby.

But once it's a toddler, it's stepped onto the grounds of education. They're learning how to walk, talk, use the toilet. But they're also breaking things, screaming, etc. Raising your voice or putting them in a time out corner is suitable, but just a simple pop on the hand or on the butt for discipline shouldn't be a big deal either. That's what taught me, and I wasn't afraid. I always knew it was because I did something wrong. I was aware it was a lesson.

People see little slaps on the hand far too frightening than they should actually be considered.

But that's just IMO. Smile

I completely and totally disagree.

Parenting to me is less about blind obedience that so many seem to desire and more about mural respect and trust. Every time a parent lays a hand on a child it chips away that trust. A parent must rebuild it.

Parents that I know that spanked and dealt out harsh punishments have teenagers that are sneaks, manipulative and fantastic liars.

My own son trusts me. He trusts me with the truth even when he screws up. He comes to me and his dad for advice because he trusts us.
He knows I expect him to make mistakes, he's a kid. He's learning it's a process and that I'm here to help him make good decisions.

He knows what's expected, he was taught to respect himself and to think for himself. To trust his instincts.

He trusts me enough to call to come pick him up for any reason at any time ... No questions asked if people around him are doing stupid stuff that could negatively effect him. He's called 3 times. I asked no questions. He eventually tells me what happened and I tell him it was really smart and I'm proud of him.
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15-01-2014, 10:52 PM
RE: Children and punishments
I am not a parent, but I wouldn't object to a any of the methods inquired by the OP other than "soap in the mouth" and "sending to bed without supper". Everything else is fine by me so long as it's done in moderation.

I wouldn't use 'soap in the mouth'. I'd be concerned about health hazards.

I wouldn't send a child to bed without a meal unless they just refused to eat on occasion. Proper nutrition is especially important in a child. I may use a variation, such as 'fruits and veggies only', 'no dessert', or 'no sodas'.

You have to find what works well with your child and you.

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15-01-2014, 10:57 PM
RE: Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 10:52 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  I am not a parent, but I wouldn't object to a any of the methods inquired by the OP other than "soap in the mouth" and "sending to bed without supper". Everything else is fine by me so long as it's done in moderation.

I wouldn't use 'soap in the mouth'. I'd be concerned about health hazards.

I wouldn't send a child to bed without a meal unless they just refused to eat on occasion. Proper nutrition is especially important in a child. I may use a variation, such as 'fruits and veggies only', 'no dessert', or 'no sodas'.

You have to find what works well with your child and you.

Regular run of the mill soap wont hurt your kid. Just give them the runs if they ingest enough. There is actually a medicine out there called Docusate Sodium which is for constipation. Basically its glorified soap.
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15-01-2014, 11:00 PM
RE: Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 10:45 PM)hotnostril Wrote:  Parents that I know that spanked and dealt out harsh punishments have teenagers that are sneaks, manipulative and fantastic liars.

You're gonna have to provide better evidence than that.

I was spanked and switched as a child. I was never a sneak (nor was I ever), I'm wouldn't consider myself manipulative, and I'm not very good liar either, though I don't see why being a good liar is indicative of bad parenting. It is a skill which could come in handy. Everyone lies. There are very good reasons to lie. "What did you think of my speech I just gave?", "Would you like to come over to my house for a party?", "How do I look?"...all times where I wish I were a better liar.

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15-01-2014, 11:02 PM
RE: Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 10:57 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Regular run of the mill soap wont hurt your kid. Just give them the runs if they ingest enough. There is actually a medicine out there called Docusate Sodium which is for constipation. Basically its glorified soap.

That sounds like one more reason not to use that method if you ask me. Confused

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15-01-2014, 11:03 PM
RE: Children and punishments
I'm not saying its a good method. Just saying its not going to hurt them. *facepalm*
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15-01-2014, 11:05 PM
RE: Children and punishments
I feel that the best method is to set clear and concise expectations and boundaries at a young age and build trust so that when you hit the harder years you have a couple things to lean back on. It's never going to be "easy".

Honestly I think classes should be mandatory for parents. *lol*
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15-01-2014, 11:11 PM
RE: Children and punishments
(15-01-2014 11:05 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I feel that the best method is to set clear and concise expectations and boundaries at a young age and build trust so that when you hit the harder years you have a couple things to lean back on. It's never going to be "easy".

Honestly I think classes should be mandatory for parents. *lol*

Yes yes yes...very clear boundaries with expectations with lines that aren't blurry.

A couple weeks ago, my oldest went out with some friends and came home in a cab. The cab ride wasnt cheap out to our home from where he was...

But hella cheaper than jail or getting in an accident because his friends were being idiots. He showed very good judgment and we were quite proud of him -- we told him so too. And reimbursed him for the cab fair.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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