Chinese airport security
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29-11-2015, 11:11 PM
Chinese airport security
This was so great I just had to share.

I flew back to China yesterday. After I got through customs at Shanghai, I had to go through security again to catch my connection. So I went through the metal detector and it went off. This girl told me to stand on this little platform about 4 inches high and she used the wand on me. The detector picked up the zipper on the fleece I was wearing which was at upper chest. So I figured that was it and I expected her to wave me through. What I didn't expect was for her to begin patting me down. It was fine until she got to my pants pockets. She then proceeded to check me for testicular cancer, taking much longer than any doctor I ever went too. (No, I am not exaggerating, she was cupping my balls) She then went behind me and quickly frisked my back. She made extra sure my butt wasn't concealing anything. I looked down at her, probably looking a little shocked when she said I could go. All the while giving me this little smirk.

Ok, bear in mind that I have been through the Shanghai airport many times. This was a new procedure. At least I know which line to pick next time. I should have asked for her number.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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30-11-2015, 12:24 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
Love you short time, huh?

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
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30-11-2015, 12:26 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
Going to Shanghai sounds like it would be one way to solve my sexual frustration problem Hobo

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30-11-2015, 12:27 AM (This post was last modified: 30-11-2015 04:59 AM by The Organic Chemist.)
RE: Chinese airport security
(30-11-2015 12:24 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  Love you short time, huh?

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Angry

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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30-11-2015, 12:28 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
(30-11-2015 12:26 AM)jennybee Wrote:  Going to Shanghai sounds like it would be one way to solve my sexual frustration problem Hobo

You could always come to Zhengzhou...... jk. Big Grin

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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30-11-2015, 04:22 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
Somebody got shook down in Shanghai??????


SHOCKING!!!

Shanghaied

Transitive verb

to bring (someone) onto a ship by force

: to make (someone) do something by using force or tricks


Now we know where THAT word comes from....

Wink

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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30-11-2015, 04:41 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
(30-11-2015 04:22 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Somebody got shook down in Shanghai??????


SHOCKING!!!

Shanghaied

Transitive verb

to bring (someone) onto a ship by force

: to make (someone) do something by using force or tricks


Now we know where THAT word comes from....

Wink

If Shanghaied in Shanghai what's the equivalent in Beijing?

I wonder if I still have old t-shirt thusly motiffed:

I Heart
B J

Consider

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30-11-2015, 04:54 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
(30-11-2015 04:22 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Somebody got shook down in Shanghai??????

Well, to be fair, it was more of a cupping action than a shake.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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30-11-2015, 04:54 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
And guess what goes on in Climax Michigan, or Intercourse Pennsylvania???

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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30-11-2015, 04:56 AM
RE: Chinese airport security
(30-11-2015 04:54 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(30-11-2015 04:22 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  Somebody got shook down in Shanghai??????

Well, to be fair, it was more of a cupping action than a shake.

Nice.... I prefer cupped to shaken........

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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