Chink in your armor.
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10-03-2016, 09:22 PM (This post was last modified: 10-03-2016 10:19 PM by carol.)
RE: Chink in your armor.
(10-03-2016 08:53 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  
(10-03-2016 07:05 PM)carol Wrote:  I am stupidly aggressive under extreme stress- for example, when a man walked into the cafe I was eating lunch at, wearing a ski mask and holding a gun, I jumped up, grabbed the mask and slammed his head into the wall. A different time, I also started beating up a car with four men in it after they tried to kidnap a child. I have had people try to mug me and simply can not stop fighting back...even though I regret it later. I get stupid brave, and then realize after I calm down how I could have died... but at the moment it happens I just don't care- my thought at the time was...the guy was fucking with my lunch and I am eating here...I tend to get that way if something big is happening around me...but am really calm under most situations- and really pretty mellow...except when something very awful happens, ( like people getting shot or something) then I turn into a person who would rather die then put up with it. I actually see red...blood red when that happens. It may kill me some day. I do not think I am quick tempered,but I am certainly strong willed...it is not that I am not frightened, because I am but I just don't care...Evil_monster

I do not do this stuff under normal situations- but if it is life threatening, I go ape shit. Never got into fights , ever- unless someone attacks me. In fight or flight mode, I fight. It always surprises people, because I am calm and kind in most situations. I try hard to be kind...and people misunderstand sometimes and think kindness is weakness...

I am adventurous to a fault, and sometimes wind up in semi dangerous situations, usually when camping or hiking. It seems like a good idea at the time.

So... you're a superhero?

Well, do super heros regret their stupid actions and break their fragile bits? And then, under fight mode just see red and do it again? Then yes, I am a super hero...Big Grin Till it winds up being one time too many... it is a good thing I moved out of the city. I think it is much more like a huge startle reflex and my reaction to the adrenaline burst is to attack. Like a cornered animal, I imagine. And the feeling of fear makes me first very calm, for a few seconds to examine the situation, and after the calm, very angry-angry enough to not care what may happen.

But, it would have been better to be born with a little less of this giant startle reflex. I have felt most of my life that I have had to hold my self in check, not that I am agressive, I am not. I am just intense...and have always had to hold back a little of the intensity, just to be respectful of people and situations...no one wants to be around intensity all the time, it gets tiring. So, I just pull it back a bit all the time.
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10-03-2016, 09:28 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
The chink in my armor is my lack of perfection. It's pretty funny, because (when I had a job- I'm retired) my fellow engineers were pretty blasé a lot of times about their mistakes. Maybe it was just coping, IDK. We were making products that cost many millions of dollars, and a mistake was a big time cost- I made a mistake one time that cost the company $250k. Then again, I made a contribution to a program that saved the government $33M. That was the same year that my supervisor was a complete bitch and I had to fight to get a 2% raise. Dodgy That supervisor ended up getting time off without pay, for misbehavior, a couple of years later.
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10-03-2016, 10:00 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
Low self esteem. Also I tend to take things personally.
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10-03-2016, 10:06 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
(10-03-2016 09:28 PM)Fireball Wrote:  The chink in my armor is my lack of perfection. It's pretty funny, because (when I had a job- I'm retired) my fellow engineers were pretty blasé a lot of times about their mistakes. Maybe it was just coping, IDK. We were making products that cost many millions of dollars, and a mistake was a big time cost- I made a mistake one time that cost the company $250k. Then again, I made a contribution to a program that saved the government $33M. That was the same year that my supervisor was a complete bitch and I had to fight to get a 2% raise. Dodgy That supervisor ended up getting time off without pay, for misbehavior, a couple of years later.

Perhaps you could take lessons from Muff's? Tongue

(10-03-2016 10:00 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  Low self esteem. Also I tend to take things personally.


Oh you can be so silly deary. Wink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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10-03-2016, 10:23 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
I have great difficulty speaking to people about emotionally-charged things, so much so that sometimes I have to write it out and give it to them to read instead. In general, the more emotional and stressful the situation, the more tongue-tied I get. This may be related to how I react to harsh voices: I go into fight-or-flight mode.
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10-03-2016, 10:46 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
(10-03-2016 05:52 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  I can never finish anyth...

Oh, and women. And for the record, I always make sure they finish.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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10-03-2016, 10:55 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
(10-03-2016 10:46 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  
(10-03-2016 05:52 PM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  I can never finish anyth...

Oh, and women. And for the record, I always make sure they finish.

If I could rep you more I would Wink
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10-03-2016, 11:57 PM
RE: Chink in your armor.
Quote:The best way to build your self-esteem is to find something you are inherently good at. Everyone has at least one thing. Then work on putting your efforts into that and enhancing it. Since you are naturally good at it, have worked to enhance it, you will be better at it than most people, which will help build both your confidence and your self-esteem.

Ah - how I wish this were true for me. I happen to be a proficient pianist, composer and vocal arranger, and am indeed a better musician than most people. But my negative self-talk tells me I'm a bad, selfish, lazy, unlovable, extremely unattractive person. So down, down, down goes my self-esteem Sad
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11-03-2016, 12:13 AM
RE: Chink in your armor.
(10-03-2016 11:57 PM)jariel Wrote:  
Quote:The best way to build your self-esteem is to find something you are inherently good at. Everyone has at least one thing. Then work on putting your efforts into that and enhancing it. Since you are naturally good at it, have worked to enhance it, you will be better at it than most people, which will help build both your confidence and your self-esteem.

Ah - how I wish this were true for me. I happen to be a proficient pianist, composer and vocal arranger, and am indeed a better musician than most people. But my negative self-talk tells me I'm a bad, selfish, lazy, unlovable, extremely unattractive person. So down, down, down goes my self-esteem Sad

Have you ever tried to talk to a therapist about it? Maybe what you are dealing with is more than just low self-esteem. I'm sorry you are struggling with all of that though Hug
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11-03-2016, 01:07 AM
RE: Chink in your armor.
I have a short temper and I worry so much that I my hair are graying already*.


*Yes, I know that it don't work quite like that.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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