Christian father monitoring my activity
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03-08-2017, 06:33 PM
Christian father monitoring my activity
Hi all! I just found this forum recently. I am currently stuck in an intriguing dilemma right now and would really appreciate some advice on what I can do from an atheist point of view. So this is how it goes:

I'm an 18 year old guy living with my Christian parents. I am currently studying a course through uni online. I was raised a Christian but from age 13 onwards I decided that I no longer wanted to be a Christian. My parents are unaware of this, and I am not planning to let them know about it (they, my siblings, and the outer family will be horrified). The main issue I've been having is viewing porn on the Internet. My father being a church minister monitors my Internet browsing (he has the right to do this), so every time he catches my activity he gives me a fiery lecture about how wrong it is. Every time I got caught I became even more determined to bypass his monitoring. I tried Tor once, and yes I got caught after two weeks. Over time I've become pretty desperate, and I've tried hacking into my neighbor’s Internet without any success.

Currently I'm using my university’s virtual desktop connection to download porn, which is probably illegal according to university laws, and also to access this forum. It’s been successful so far, however I only use it during study hours, so as to not look suspicious.

My father (and my university) has not caught on yet, but it's probably only a matter of time. The anxiety of getting caught again by my father is very stressful. I also feel somewhat isolated, as the only people I know well are Christians. I am not sure if I can get out of this situation, as I'm not leaving home any time soon either. The deprivation has led me to an increasing abhorrence of Christianity and a desire to take revenge with some elaborate plot (very melodramatic, I know).

My question is, what am I supposed to do in this situation? I’ve considered running away before, but there is nowhere to go. I don’t want to get involved in any discussions with my father as it’s too hard for me mentally and emotionally. I’d rather have my parents believe I’m dead or disappeared than know that I am a non-Christian.

Unfortunately I may not be able to respond to your answers immediately, thanks anyway for taking the time to read this!
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04-08-2017, 01:39 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
Leave the porn alone for a while. Sounds as if you have a problem there that is perhaps not healthy. If you get caught by your university there will be bigger issues to deal with than your Dad finding out.

As far as your abhorrence of xtianity is concerned...........okay..............I get it, but lots of people of your age (and older) in the US have a similar view and manage to relate to other atheists without family members being any the wiser.

You can use the university VPN to visit this site and I'm sure there will be no repercussions. Why not use a private browsing mode or incognito mode in your browser of choice when visiting atheist sites?

But lay off the porn. At least until you view it safely and securely and without upsetting anyone.

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04-08-2017, 03:46 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 01:39 AM)Silly Deity Wrote:  But lay off the porn. At least until you view it safely and securely and without upsetting anyone.

I imagine OP has tried. Hormones when you're 18 are pretty goddamn hard to ignore, especially if you're stuck in a repressive environment.

OP you're not wrong to want to look at porn, it's just something that society views as taboo. Is there any possibility that you can move out from home? If you can get away from your father's intrusion into your life that's probably the best way to avoid a scene. In the meantime it's an unfortunate reality that you're probably going to get caught if you continue your porn viewing activities. Not a good idea to do it through the university connection either, it'll just fuck up your life good and proper if they catch on, although I imagine large numbers of students get into that sort of trouble so they're probably used to dealing with it.

Sometimes my brain gets stuck in horny mode. I've discovered if I jack off immediately I can save myself quite a lot of time, as compared to when I try to ignore it and it distracts me and makes it difficult to concentrate. So the game is, jack off as soon as possible and avoid looking at porn online for now. Try taking up sport or something - anything that gets you out of the house. I wish I could offer you better advice but that's all I got.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-08-2017, 04:18 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(03-08-2017 06:33 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  Hi all! I just found this forum recently. I am currently stuck in an intriguing dilemma right now and would really appreciate some advice on what I can do from an atheist point of view. So this is how it goes:

I'm an 18 year old guy living with my Christian parents. I am currently studying a course through uni online. I was raised a Christian but from age 13 onwards I decided that I no longer wanted to be a Christian. My parents are unaware of this, and I am not planning to let them know about it (they, my siblings, and the outer family will be horrified). The main issue I've been having is viewing porn on the Internet. My father being a church minister monitors my Internet browsing (he has the right to do this), so every time he catches my activity he gives me a fiery lecture about how wrong it is. Every time I got caught I became even more determined to bypass his monitoring. I tried Tor once, and yes I got caught after two weeks. Over time I've become pretty desperate, and I've tried hacking into my neighbor’s Internet without any success.

Currently I'm using my university’s virtual desktop connection to download porn, which is probably illegal according to university laws, and also to access this forum. It’s been successful so far, however I only use it during study hours, so as to not look suspicious.

My father (and my university) has not caught on yet, but it's probably only a matter of time. The anxiety of getting caught again by my father is very stressful. I also feel somewhat isolated, as the only people I know well are Christians. I am not sure if I can get out of this situation, as I'm not leaving home any time soon either. The deprivation has led me to an increasing abhorrence of Christianity and a desire to take revenge with some elaborate plot (very melodramatic, I know).

My question is, what am I supposed to do in this situation? I’ve considered running away before, but there is nowhere to go. I don’t want to get involved in any discussions with my father as it’s too hard for me mentally and emotionally. I’d rather have my parents believe I’m dead or disappeared than know that I am a non-Christian.

Unfortunately I may not be able to respond to your answers immediately, thanks anyway for taking the time to read this!

a) I don't know how your father lectures you, but I have a following question, that goes a bit futher: do you believe pornography will do well in your relationship?

b) I don't come with any insult, but have you thought about upper question? Your father may know about effects pornography will have on relationships, and if you're not living a life of celibacy, you should think about many negative roots pornography will have.

c) I don't believe relationship is evil, it's beautiful and I believe, that man and wife should not film that sacred and intimate space they have on a film or photography.

d) This might be hard to understand for some, but lets think about this and about our own relationship, thoughts, ideas about marriage and views of pornography. If you aren't married it's good to think about this, and when you are, you will have to contemplate this too: where is my relationship, now? And I'm sure you will find many glimpses of where you can make tiny changes, for the better.
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04-08-2017, 08:10 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
[Monty Python voice] In my day we didn't have internet porn. We had porn in print and we had to walk five miles in the snow to the store to get it. Uphill both ways, without shoes."
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04-08-2017, 08:17 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
[Older Monty Python voice]In print!? Looxoury! In mah day, we had t' walk TEN miles up hill both ways -in t'snow, jus't t' peek in't magazine wrapped in brown paaper.

Tongue
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04-08-2017, 08:20 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 08:17 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  [Older Monty Python voice]In print!? Looxoury! In mah day, we had t' walk TEN miles up hill both ways -in t'snow, jus't t' peek in't magazine wrapped in brown paaper.

Tongue

Paper? Paper??? Looooxury! Ours was wrapped in concrete with barbed wire, oh how we dreamed of paper!
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04-08-2017, 08:45 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(03-08-2017 06:33 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  Hi all! ...

Hello! Big Grin

So... try and get by with less? I know a stranger saying such things probably comes accross as quite stupid/etc. Hug

Yah, same story here with living with my folks. Back then it was scrounged magazines stashed where ever I could think of.

Though, seriously, try and keep your folders well hiddden/alternativly named and simply try and get by with viewing less...

Untill you're the master of your own domecile, then the space is yours. :thubmsup:
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04-08-2017, 09:46 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
Unless you dad is a proper computer wiz, which not many parents are, it'll be very easy to get around your issues, literally just have a google of how to hide your activity next time you're out of the house/the library or something. That or just get creative a bit. Even if you have a phone, a lot of the browsing can be hidden there as well.

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04-08-2017, 11:13 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 08:20 AM)jerry mcmasters Wrote:  
(04-08-2017 08:17 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  [Older Monty Python voice]In print!? Looxoury! In mah day, we had t' walk TEN miles up hill both ways -in t'snow, jus't t' peek in't magazine wrapped in brown paaper.

Tongue

Paper? Paper??? Looooxury! Ours was wrapped in concrete with barbed wire, oh how we dreamed of paper!

Laugh out load OMG! I'm giving you a + Rep point just for that post! Laugh out load

Edit to add: Heck sakes, I already gave you a + Rep point. I wish I could give you another one though. So I'll give you an invisible one.

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He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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