Christian father monitoring my activity
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04-08-2017, 11:38 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
In what way did he "catch" you when you were using Tor?
Do you own your own computer or smartphone?

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04-08-2017, 12:09 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
Ok, I may seem like a prude, but I'm actually not a fan of porn in general, mainly because today's industry (mostly) exploits the individuals working in it, and because it sets up at best an unrealistic, and at worst a misogynistic, image of intimacy that really doesn't prepare young people well for positive sexual relationships.

It can also be addictive.
Like sugar or alcohol, in small doses, it's probably ok; but for some individuals, the more you get, the more you want, setting up a vicious circle.

I would suggest that you taper off your consumption gradually, and maybe consider asking yourself what you're really seeking. Is porn filling a (relationship) void? Are these "empty calories" really good for you in the long run?

But that's just my opinion.

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04-08-2017, 06:22 PM (This post was last modified: 04-08-2017 06:33 PM by JBill358.)
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
Thanks for your suggestion morondog. I think it's mainly the repression that's making it difficult, in the way that the more you are opposed the more you resist. I agree that it can waste a lot of time.

Moving out of home is not really a possibility, I haven't really considered that. I don't know all the legal rules and stuff for that, since I don't dare looking them up.

Thanks for the support.
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04-08-2017, 06:32 PM (This post was last modified: 04-08-2017 06:41 PM by JBill358.)
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 04:18 AM)Whos Pino Puglisi Wrote:  a) I don't know how your father lectures you, but I have a following question, that goes a bit futher: do you believe pornography will do well in your relationship?

b) I don't come with any insult, but have you thought about upper question? Your father may know about effects pornography will have on relationships, and if you're not living a life of celibacy, you should think about many negative roots pornography will have.

c) I don't believe relationship is evil, it's beautiful and I believe, that man and wife should not film that sacred and intimate space they have on a film or photography.

d) This might be hard to understand for some, but lets think about this and about our own relationship, thoughts, ideas about marriage and views of pornography. If you aren't married it's good to think about this, and when you are, you will have to contemplate this too: where is my relationship, now? And I'm sure you will find many glimpses of where you can make tiny changes, for the better.

Very intriguing questions! I'll do my best to answer them.

Will pornography do well in a relationship? No I don't think so, but I do not intend to form any relationships or marry. If I do intend to marry then I'm happy to lay off the porn, but no it's not going to happen. I spend most of my time at home so I feel somewhat isolated, plus I don't think I've ever met another girl my age, so all of this makes it hard for me to feel empathy towards others.

I haven't really answered the questions but you get the idea.
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04-08-2017, 06:38 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 08:45 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  
(03-08-2017 06:33 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  Hi all! ...

Hello! Big Grin

So... try and get by with less? I know a stranger saying such things probably comes accross as quite stupid/etc. Hug

Yah, same story here with living with my folks. Back then it was scrounged magazines stashed where ever I could think of.

Though, seriously, try and keep your folders well hiddden/alternativly named and simply try and get by with viewing less...

Untill you're the master of your own domecile, then the space is yours. :thubmsup:

Thanks for the suggestion. Everyone has been very supportive!
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04-08-2017, 06:45 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 09:46 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  Unless you dad is a proper computer wiz, which not many parents are, it'll be very easy to get around your issues, literally just have a google of how to hide your activity next time you're out of the house/the library or something. That or just get creative a bit. Even if you have a phone, a lot of the browsing can be hidden there as well.

My dad is a proper computer whiz! He doesn't look at browsing history, more data sniffing and stuff. He sometimes checks out my computer and phone if he is suspicious.
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04-08-2017, 06:53 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 01:39 AM)Silly Deity Wrote:  Leave the porn alone for a while. Sounds as if you have a problem there that is perhaps not healthy. If you get caught by your university there will be bigger issues to deal with than your Dad finding out.

As far as your abhorrence of xtianity is concerned...........okay..............I get it, but lots of people of your age (and older) in the US have a similar view and manage to relate to other atheists without family members being any the wiser.

You can use the university VPN to visit this site and I'm sure there will be no repercussions. Why not use a private browsing mode or incognito mode in your browser of choice when visiting atheist sites?

But lay off the porn. At least until you view it safely and securely and without upsetting anyone.

Thanks for the suggestion! I've tried, but it has been very difficult. Thanks for the support!
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04-08-2017, 07:02 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 11:38 AM)cactus Wrote:  In what way did he "catch" you when you were using Tor?
Do you own your own computer or smartphone?

Yes, I use my own computer. I'm not sure how he found out, I was just studying in my room when he came in and said something like 'You think I don't know?'. Then he took me to the nearby park and ranted for a while. I was pretty mentally shaken after that. It was also the last time I got caught.

I think Tor hides your traffic but does not hide the fact that Tor has been used. I think he did some research on Tor when he got suspicious. So even though he doesn't know what I did using Tor, the fact that I tried to hide my tracks alerted him straight away. I think the university VPN might turn out to be similar.
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04-08-2017, 07:16 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 12:09 PM)Reducetarian Wrote:  Ok, I may seem like a prude, but I'm actually not a fan of porn in general, mainly because today's industry (mostly) exploits the individuals working in it, and because it sets up at best an unrealistic, and at worst a misogynistic, image of intimacy that really doesn't prepare young people well for positive sexual relationships.

It can also be addictive.
Like sugar or alcohol, in small doses, it's probably ok; but for some individuals, the more you get, the more you want, setting up a vicious circle.

I would suggest that you taper off your consumption gradually, and maybe consider asking yourself what you're really seeking. Is porn filling a (relationship) void? Are these "empty calories" really good for you in the long run?

But that's just my opinion.

Nah, you're not a prude, everyone's different! I agree that viewing too much porn is unhealthy. I don't think I consume much porn, it's just that it's almost impossible to access it, thus making me even more determined. It is probably filling a relationship void, as I spend a lot of time at home and I've never really communicated with a girl my age. This isn't going to change any time soon as i study university at home and I leave house mostly to go to church with my family or do an exam. So I won't have the chance to form any relationships until I finish uni and find a job, which might be two years down the line. I'm happy to give up porn if a relationship is possible, but the wait has made me very pessimistic and bitter, causing me to be very opposed to actually forming one.

Thanks for the support!
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04-08-2017, 11:28 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
This is really disgusting that your father isn't respecting your rights to view whatever you want at the age of 18 (as long as it's on your own computer of course and not a university one). He's clearly not respecting your privacy either. I hope you can find a way to move out and become independent soon, so that you're not having to live by his stupid rules anymore.

As for porn in relationships, it depends on the individuals. Only one person I've dated has had any problem with it. All the others, including my wife, don't mind at all. It's just about being honest. Personally I wouldn't care what (legal) porn anyone I was with watched either.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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