Christian father monitoring my activity
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05-08-2017, 01:04 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(04-08-2017 07:16 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  This isn't going to change any time soon as i study university at home and I leave house mostly to go to church with my family or do an exam. So I won't have the chance to form any relationships until I finish uni and find a job, which might be two years down the line. I'm happy to give up porn if a relationship is possible, but the wait has made me very pessimistic and bitter, causing me to be very opposed to actually forming one.

It may seem normal to you since you've been in this situation for so long but I want you to realise that this is absolutely not normal. It actually is abuse, if my impression is correct and you are being basically forced into this lifestyle against your will.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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05-08-2017, 01:54 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
Isn't there a law against spying your adult child's activities, even if they are living with you?

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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06-08-2017, 11:18 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(05-08-2017 01:54 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  Isn't there a law against spying your adult child's activities, even if they are living with you?

I’m not sure what laws are out there to be honest, haven’t done research as I’m paranoid that it might alert my father. Living in Australia by the way so it’s probably Australian laws we’re thinking of.

Oh yeah, your website is very informative!
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06-08-2017, 11:41 PM (This post was last modified: 06-08-2017 11:44 PM by Cosmo.)
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
If you feel guilty about it, first ask yourself why. If it's for religious reasons, consider that your sex life is your own, and your consensual partner's. Perhaps religion has you sexually frustrated. If it's for other reasons, consider stopping. Others have pointed out smartphones and other means of hiding your browsing so if you want to continue there's also that.

Thats all I could think of. Sorry if it wasn't helpful. Best of luck.

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07-08-2017, 01:03 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(06-08-2017 11:18 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  
(05-08-2017 01:54 AM)Robvalue Wrote:  Isn't there a law against spying your adult child's activities, even if they are living with you?

I’m not sure what laws are out there to be honest, haven’t done research as I’m paranoid that it might alert my father. Living in Australia by the way so it’s probably Australian laws we’re thinking of.

Oh yeah, your website is very informative!

Thank you! I'm glad you like it, I appreciate you checking it out Smile

I'd better dollars to doughnuts that what your father is really doing is projecting onto you the shame his religion makes him feel about doing the exact same thing (which he does).

If he confronts you about what websites you've been using on a personal computer he has no access to (or shouldn't have), I'd say you have the much more powerful rebuttal, "Why are you spying on me?"

It's absolutely disgusting that he abuses his power like this. My parents abused their power over me (in different ways) while I was living with them, and they destroyed our relationship in the process. I think your father is taking for granted how much contact you're going to have with him once you become independent.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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07-08-2017, 06:30 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(06-08-2017 11:41 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  If you feel guilty about it, first ask yourself why. If it's for religious reasons, consider that your sex life is your own, and your consensual partner's. Perhaps religion has you sexually frustrated. If it's for other reasons, consider stopping. Others have pointed out smartphones and other means of hiding your browsing so if you want to continue there's also that.

Thats all I could think of. Sorry if it wasn't helpful. Best of luck.

I think I feel guilty because my father and the Christian religion says it’s wrong. Even though I’m no longer a Christian I’m still paranoid that I’ll get punished for my ‘sins’. I’ve decided to tone down viewing porn at the moment anyway, it can become an obsession if I’m not careful.

Thanks!
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07-08-2017, 06:39 PM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(05-08-2017 01:04 AM)morondog Wrote:  It may seem normal to you since you've been in this situation for so long but I want you to realise that this is absolutely not normal. It actually is abuse, if my impression is correct and you are being basically forced into this lifestyle against your will.

Yeah I suppose I’m used to it. Abuse seems a pretty harsh word since he sincerely believes that he’s doing it for my good, and he doesn’t have any malicious motives. To be honest I never actually complained to him about this lifestyle.
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07-08-2017, 06:51 PM (This post was last modified: 07-08-2017 07:01 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(03-08-2017 06:33 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  I tried Tor once, and yes I got caught after two weeks.

If you were caught using Tor you weren't doing it properly. It's a one-time use thing. Use it to buy your illegal drugs and lady boys from Thailand using bitcoin, and then delete all traces of it from your machine. How the hell does your old man even know about Tor and the dark web in the first place Tor for that matter.

(03-08-2017 06:33 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  Currently I'm using my university’s virtual desktop connection to download porn, which is probably illegal according to university laws, and also to access this forum. It’s been successful so far, however I only use it during study hours, so as to not look suspicious.

Why are you downloading porn? So you can look at it later? Bah. You don't store porn locally, silly billy. You point your Tor browser to xhamster or pornhub or whatever, choose whatever category fetches you, watch it for the 3 minutes necessary to relieve your prostate of its toxic buildup, and delete all traces until it's time to take prophylactic measures to prevent prostate cancer and BPH again a day or two later. This doesn't sound like something I would consider relocating over. It doesn't seem to me you that you have fully considered all the technology solutions available.

#sigh
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08-08-2017, 12:04 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
(07-08-2017 06:39 PM)JBill358 Wrote:  
(05-08-2017 01:04 AM)morondog Wrote:  It may seem normal to you since you've been in this situation for so long but I want you to realise that this is absolutely not normal. It actually is abuse, if my impression is correct and you are being basically forced into this lifestyle against your will.

Yeah I suppose I’m used to it. Abuse seems a pretty harsh word since he sincerely believes that he’s doing it for my good, and he doesn’t have any malicious motives. To be honest I never actually complained to him about this lifestyle.

It can be hard going up against your parent. Also whatever his beliefs, it's still abuse if it's being forced on you. It can be hard to see that though, especially if that's your normal. I'd probably not raise it as an issue quite yet, although you should tell him at some point that his intrusion into your life is getting to be too much. Otherwise don't think it'll stop when you're older. He'll keep right on keeping you under his thumb.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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08-08-2017, 02:13 AM
RE: Christian father monitoring my activity
If it's any help, the bible is silent on both pornography (obviously, since the technology didn't exist) and masturbation.

The focus on the latter is from (mis)interpretations, or additions to the text (like Catholics overwriting God with their own shit).

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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