Close Call
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
09-08-2015, 07:59 PM
Close Call
Umm Confused I was in a very very dark place for the last 2 days. It came completely out of nowhere on the way back from moving my grandmother from chicago to our hometown down in Mississippi.

I just kept dreaming about killing myself with my handgun that I keep on my nightstand. It just kept replaying itself over and over. And these thoughts I were having I can't even really describe all of the low points I got too. I felt as if my wife would eventually leave me due to the PTSD and the difficulty it brings(she would never of course but I was at an all time low).

I was trying to chill with smoking for a little but not even 3 days without it due to the trip I was ready to end it all. Planned a day out and everything. Finally had one today after being back since last night and man feels so much better. Now I'm just really concerned with being so depended on it. Will this come back when I need to stop for a drug test? Will I have to resort to the prescription pills they give me subsequently killing my kidneys when my family has a big kidney problem? I dunno what I am anymore.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-08-2015, 08:13 PM
RE: Close Call
Sorry man. I dunno what to say, but I wanna say something. Have you been to a shrink? Maybe just talking about it will help. Talk here, smoke if you can, and hang the fuck in there. I'm pulling for you.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes evenheathen's post
09-08-2015, 08:48 PM
RE: Close Call
Please come here and talk to us if you need someone to talk to. If no one else will, message me and I'll send you my chat info... but I hope you talk to some of your brother veterans in here, who might have more insight on how to help.

If you need to smoke but are worried about drug tests, talk with your doctor about getting a prescription to Marinol, which is legal THC in pill form. With your up-to-date prescription numbers to put on a drug test form, you can pee straight green and they can't fire you for it. Marinol (dronabinol) is increasingly common as a treatment for those suffering PTSD.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like RocketSurgeon76's post
09-08-2015, 09:08 PM
RE: Close Call
(09-08-2015 08:13 PM)evenheathen Wrote:  Sorry man. I dunno what to say, but I wanna say something. Have you been to a shrink? Maybe just talking about it will help. Talk here, smoke if you can, and hang the fuck in there. I'm pulling for you.

Yes I have seen a shrink. 6 to be exact(5 military one civilian). I appreciate the support!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-08-2015, 09:11 PM
RE: Close Call
(09-08-2015 08:48 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Please come here and talk to us if you need someone to talk to. If no one else will, message me and I'll send you my chat info... but I hope you talk to some of your brother veterans in here, who might have more insight on how to help.

If you need to smoke but are worried about drug tests, talk with your doctor about getting a prescription to Marinol, which is legal THC in pill form. With your up-to-date prescription numbers to put on a drug test form, you can pee straight green and they can't fire you for it. Marinol (dronabinol) is increasingly common as a treatment for those suffering PTSD.

Thanks rocket. I really appreciate the support. Definitely will do that in the future.

Marinol?! I never heard of it. I'll look into it and see if I can get put on it. Thanks for that information.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes MrKrispy601's post
09-08-2015, 09:51 PM
RE: Close Call
I'm glad you got out of that mind frame, I've been there myself in the past. Can I suggest that while you're feeling better you think about getting your gun somewhere else so it isn't as available to you?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like pablo's post
09-08-2015, 09:58 PM
RE: Close Call
(09-08-2015 08:48 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  Please come here and talk to us if you need someone to talk to. If no one else will, message me and I'll send you my chat info... but I hope you talk to some of your brother veterans in here, who might have more insight on how to help.

If you need to smoke but are worried about drug tests, talk with your doctor about getting a prescription to Marinol, which is legal THC in pill form. With your up-to-date prescription numbers to put on a drug test form, you can pee straight green and they can't fire you for it. Marinol (dronabinol) is increasingly common as a treatment for those suffering PTSD.

^This^ I agree with Rocket. I also think talking to someone would help if you can as EH suggested. I hope you pull out of this soon and I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Hug

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-08-2015, 07:44 AM
RE: Close Call
I don't know what to say since I really don't know that much about PTSD. My wife who is a physician has encountered vets with PTSD, even from as far back as Vietnam. All I can say is that your life is precious and I would encourage you to do whatever you need to keep yourself alive. Pursue several different approaches: vent here, try to get a psychiatrist that really works for you, try the Marinol, if things are very dark, call a suicide hotline. If you can't find someone to prescribe the Marinol, ask your doctor about the contra indications of whatever they describe to make sure your kidneys are going to be OK. Tell them about the familial condition with your kidneys. Hoping for the best for you.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Iñigo's post
11-08-2015, 04:23 AM
RE: Close Call
I agree with Rocket and inigo.
See someone and don't throw your life away. Life is too precious and one never knows what's around the corner.
When I was younger and had climbed out of my childhood, which had been dreadful, I stood on a rail bridge ready to jump.
But I got off and decided to carry on. My life all of a sudden got great. I met many people, some fascinating. I even met a kid born in 2001 who became a driving force in my life.

You just don't know. Stick around and see.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Banjo's post
11-08-2015, 10:14 AM
RE: Close Call
Some of us have been where you are. Don't be afraid to reach out to us.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes ohio_drg's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: