Poll: Should I come out?
Yes, to everyone
Yes, to freinds
Yes, to family
No
[Show Results]
Note: This is a public poll, other users will be able to see what you voted for.
Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
09-06-2013, 09:16 PM
Question Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
So I have been listening to all the great podcasts and watching videos on this website about deconversion, and since I have recently become a convinced atheist (within this week, but I have been sceptic for most my life) I am nervous about coming out. My friends are all christian and I fear I might lose them. Despite their beliefs they really are great people and very smart, which is infuriating. My family does not go to church but they believe in god. My biggest fear is my dad's reaction, if he goes as crazy as what i've heard on this website I have no idea what I would do, yet there is also a possibility I could convert him. I don't think he really believes, but is playing along because my mom does. My dad loves science and double majored in it, yet still clings to this faith. I am in a huge dilemma, or so it feels like. I can't afford to loose my friends, i'm too anti-social, but I'm exploding and I've only been a full atheist for a week! By the way, I'm 15 years old, thanks for reading and reply please.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Derek Hammar's post
09-06-2013, 09:35 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Welcome to the forum! This is a great place to be bursting. I can remember feeling something similar. I'm a pretty much lifelong atheist, but there was that point where you Realize you are an atheist.

Awesome my man. Enjoy it, and welcome to reality. The waters just fine.

As for telling others, my best advice is to take your time. There's no rush. Be thoughtful of how you tell them. If you need to burst, do it here. It's a great community. Let the people around you in on it more gently.

Just visiting.

-SR
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 8 users Like Stark Raving's post
09-06-2013, 09:51 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
I agree with Stark, with the possible exception of this being a great community. I only say that because these people let the likes of me join with literally no vetting process so... Confused

But seriously, you have plenty of time to come out. Spend some time reading and learning some more before you decide on a tactic. I would recommend exploring the subject of atheism when and if it comes up organically (especially with your dad) and just see how he responds to the conversations before you lay out your position.

Doing so can help you develop a reasonable strategy.

Oh and, Atothetheist is a board member who is about your age. Super smart guy.... maybe he'll pop in and share his experiences on the matter.

And welcome to the forum!

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like bbeljefe's post
09-06-2013, 10:38 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Yea Derek - I wouldn't go 'splodin' anywhere but here for a while... like Stark says, you have plenty of time. Check the place out. You will want to have all your ducks in a row when you do come out and there are a lot of things this place can help you with, for that very thing. Bbeljefe is right; you'll want a strategy and you can build that here.

So, hang out for a while and get to know the place - it's an international forum so, there are people from all over the globe here. You'll get a varied and broad perspective.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-06-2013, 10:42 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
What the hell? Was I the only one who voted? You chicken shits get your asses back here and vote in this young man's poll. Dodgy godfuckingdamnit

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like kim's post
09-06-2013, 10:54 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
(09-06-2013 10:42 PM)kim Wrote:  What the hell? Was I the only one who voted? You chicken shits get your asses back here and vote in this young man's poll. Dodgy godfuckingdamnit

I'm a fucking anarchist, don't you remember?

We don't vote. Drinking Beverage

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes bbeljefe's post
09-06-2013, 10:55 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
(09-06-2013 10:42 PM)kim Wrote:  What the hell? Was I the only one who voted? You chicken shits get your asses back here and vote in this young man's poll. Dodgy godfuckingdamnit

Only 'cos Kimmies asked so nicely Tongue

To clarify, my no vote is "not right now". You're new to this, you're young, in a position where if your parents do react badly you don't have any options. Rather keep it quiet and see how the lay of the land is.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like morondog's post
09-06-2013, 10:58 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Since Kim twisted my arm Tongue

First welcome to TTA!!

I voted no, only because there isn't any hurry and I don't know enough specifics about your situation. But I have been there -- the first blush of my atheism made me want to scream it from the rooftops. I came out as an atheist first to a few close friends, who completely accepted me but later to family who really didn't.

People have many assumptions about why we're atheist. Like we must hate god, we're rebellious in nature, we're confused, it's just phase...

I could really go on and on. I would show people that you can be kind, considerate, helpful and be an atheist. That life has meaning (I believe it has more meaning because it's not about the glory of eternal reward). Focus on positives.

Good luck and hope you stick around!


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Momsurroundedbyboys's post
10-06-2013, 12:35 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Personally I would suggest that if you have any doubts about how the news will be received that you wait for college (I assume are going that route because your parents are educated).

I pronounced my open Atheism at 16 while attending Catholic school and it did me little good, you don't need to lie, but it would be best to avoid preaching to the rafters and saying things like "There is no ***ing god." in crowded stairwells. In college there WILL be other people with the same mindset (provided you pick a secular school). In college you will have distance from your parents and that is in amazingly powerful tool when it comes to asserting yourself and your beliefs (or lack thereof).

Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like ridethespiral's post
10-06-2013, 12:57 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Basically it's none of anyone's damn business.
I see no reason to make an issue of it, except with your best friend, (or two), only if they will keep their mouths shut.
When people talk about it, you can talk around it, like "will I have a lot to study about that, so when I am thinking about it.

OR,

you can always say something like "I have some personal boundaries. This crosses them. I prefer not to discuss this right now. This isn't the time for that talk. But thanks for asking. A lot of weather we're having". Tongue

Welcome, BTW. (There's also a teen section you can check out later, if you're interested. There's more of you heathen kids/peeps here than I can count).

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist
Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things" (KJV)

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: