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Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
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17-06-2013, 07:14 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Nooo!! No no no no no!! I hate hate it when people do stuff like tht!

No what you think is necessary as to keep you in the house
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17-06-2013, 08:19 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
(17-06-2013 07:04 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  What do you think i should do?
Most of my friends and all of my classmates know im an atheist,but my parents dont. I asked a few questions and the responses pointed out that i probably shouldnt tell them that i dont believe anymore if i want to stay in the house.
My dad says as long as i live with them,i must follow the cultural and religious traditions.
This is not just going to church,as i am not raised christian,but hindu.
It means every morning pouring water over a statue of "god",plucking flowers and putting them infront of a statue,and on thursday and friday pouring milk instead of water and not eating meat on those days and meditating atleast 15 mins.
I see the milk pouring part as wasting milk,and i tend to come late to school by this.

I wished to go out of their house and living alone as soon as i'm going to the university,
and my hobby is woodcraft and computers,and in my free time i make chairs and small tables,or repair computers and in the vacation i do small plumbing work. The money is saved for this goal.

But the problem is now. How do i explain to them that i do not like to pour water on a statue,and pick flowers and meditate and not eating meat on these days and everything else while still living with them for the next 3 years?
How do i explain to them that i do not want to go to both the normal doctor and priest if i am sick? The priest is just a waste of money that they could have spend better...
My parents are rational on everything exept religion.
And for later,if i want to move out,i will be 17 by then. How do i find out if a 17yr old can rent a house,or live alone without some legal right for my parents to force me back?

Since you are in school, maybe your teachers could explain to your parents that being late to school is hurting your performance at school, and perhaps make an arrangement with your teachers to ask your parents to excuse you from these devotional acts on school days. Do you have siblings who could perform the devotions and would enjoy them?

You can't really tell your parents what to do with their money when it comes to spending on doctor or priest. Try not to get sick?? Smile

Do you have aunts or uncles or older cousins or friends who have moved out on their own? They could tell you what you need to do in order to move out on your own. In the meantime, keep saving your money. If you want to finish school and go to university, maybe you could study abroad, where you would have to live in residence. Try to earn some scholarships to schools that interest you.

In the meantime, you may just have to quietly do as your parents ask, create as little friction as possible, while at the same time prepare for your future. It isn't easy to go through the motions, knowing that it is all just for nothing. But really, it *is* for something - it is for keeping the peace while you are under your parents' roof, so they will not try to interfere with your future plans.

Just don't let them arrange a marriage for you, okay??

. . . all the gods were stories we told the children to make them behave. ~ Thoros of Myr (Game of Thrones, Episode 3:06)
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17-06-2013, 09:16 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Im gonna comment in bold
(17-06-2013 08:19 PM)Scully Wrote:  Since you are in school, maybe your teachers could explain to your parents that being late to school is hurting your performance at school, and perhaps make an arrangement with your teachers to ask your parents to excuse you from these devotional acts on school days.

the problem is,my schoolwork isnt suffering from this.i get exelent grades(exept history,wich seems to be religion in disguise here). Wich is also a problem,cuz then my parents are like "see,prayers DO work. You ask god to help you with school,and he DOES help." i only wish i could tell them i do not meditate,i just sit there,thinking what a fucking waste of time this is
Do you have siblings who could perform the devotions and would enjoy them?
yes,but i do not see your point
You can't really tell your parents what to do with their money when it comes to spending on doctor or priest. Try not to get sick?? Smile
i wish i could just say something like"the priest is a charlatan! I just want to visit a regular doctor and thats enough! Cant you understand that it doesnt work! Cant you just accept the modern medicines work and it ain the priest blessings?"
Do you have aunts or uncles or older cousins or friends who have moved out on their own?
my parents have family problems. Thanx to that,i am also not close to my family
They could tell you what you need to do in order to move out on your own.
i got friends who live with their girlfriend,but they are all over the legal age,and i am pretty sure i do not want to disturb their household for my benefit.
And i got friends who say its awsome,but im a bit skeptical about that. Im pretty sure its hard,but i want it

In the meantime, keep saving your money. If you want to finish school and go to university, maybe you could study abroad, where you would have to live in residence.
i hope i can.
But to study abroad requires much $$. The scolarships that i know of are in brazil or cuba,and require either fluent portuguese or spanish,and i know neither. I need toget informed about the subject soon

Try to earn some scholarships to schools that interest you.

In the meantime, you may just have to quietly do as your parents ask, create as little friction as possible Is that posible for a teen? Laugh out load , while at the same time prepare for your future. It isn't easy to go through the motions, knowing that it is all just for nothing. But really, it *is* for something - it is for keeping the peace while you are under your parents' roof, so they will not try to interfere with your future plans.

Just don't let them arrange a marriage for you, okay??thankfull to the FSM they are not THAT closeminded

sometimes i wish i could run away from home and leave a big letter(and it wont be nice) on why i did it and that i would return if they change....
But thats just not reachable.



I really appreciate your post,thanx

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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17-06-2013, 09:24 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Every thing is reachable friend, it just depends on if you do it.

And wonderfully said, Scully.
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17-06-2013, 09:37 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
You have it worse than me, friend. I still can't come out to anyone for fear of ostracization (i think that's a wordSmile). I eould reccomend that you stay in the closet until you can leave the house, not just legally but financially too. I'm not sure this is good advice, i'm not through my own situation either. I'm 15, so I also have three more years at least of faking it. Where do you live? I'm in Pleasant Hill, Iowa.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
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17-06-2013, 10:19 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
(17-06-2013 09:37 PM)Derek Hammar Wrote:  You have it worse than me, friend. I still can't come out to anyone for fear of ostracization (i think that's a wordSmile). I eould reccomend that you stay in the closet until you can leave the house, not just legally but financially too. I'm not sure this is good advice, i'm not through my own situation either. I'm 15, so I also have three more years at least of faking it. Where do you live? I'm in Pleasant Hill, Iowa.

a thousand to one that you never heard of my counry.
I live in Paramaribo,Suriname


and please,enlighten me. What does ostracization mean?


Glad to know there are ppl like me out there
*actually not! I want that every one can come out freely*

happy to meet ya!

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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18-06-2013, 10:54 AM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Well, to be ostracized is to be cut off or exiled, so I made my own word, hope it's real. Actually, I looked at you profile and saw where you were from yesterday and googled it. You're absolutely right, I have never heard of it, ima guess you've heard of United States. Do you listen to Seth's podcast? I was listening to one, and they were talking about the SSA(secular student alliance). It's an after school club thing for agnostics and atheists, man it really makes me want to start one at my school, and maybe I would if my mom weren't a teacher... You said you were a Hindu? or at least, pretending to be. What the heck is up with pouring milk on freaking statue? lol.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
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18-06-2013, 12:56 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
(18-06-2013 10:54 AM)Derek Hammar Wrote:  Well, to be ostracized is to be cut off or exiled, so I made my own word, hope it's real.

The word you're looking for is ostracism Wink Which has nothing to do with ostriches...
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18-06-2013, 04:11 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
Ah, but I like really long confusing words.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. -Laurence J. Peter
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18-06-2013, 04:36 PM
RE: Closet Atheist? Not sure what to do
(18-06-2013 10:54 AM)Derek Hammar Wrote:  Well, to be ostracized is to be cut off or exiled, so I made my own word, hope it's real. Actually, I looked at you profile and saw where you were from yesterday and googled it. You're absolutely right, I have never heard of it, ima guess you've heard of United States. Do you listen to Seth's podcast? I was listening to one, and they were talking about the SSA(secular student alliance). It's an after school club thing for agnostics and atheists, man it really makes me want to start one at my school, and maybe I would if my mom weren't a teacher... You said you were a Hindu? or at least, pretending to be. What the heck is up with pouring milk on freaking statue? lol.

who hasn't heard of the US?

Yes i listen to TTA,and other podcasts,and i soon need anotha microSD card for more podcasts...
Why dont ya just invade the local christian club?
I saw the SSA site,and i hope all schools get connected to it.
And pouring milk on a statue is a friggin waste of milk tradition of hindu's.
You know what has come into the news here? Homoxuality.
Ima going to give you a quote. "no,i do not support homosexuality. Its a sin. Its unnatural. If this motion comes into the parlement,i will be the first one to vote no. Infact,i wish they die soon"
atleast 6 politici said something similar, and the rest doesnt want to comment it. I am not gay,but i believe they should get equal rights as every human.
Im still folowing the topic

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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