Closure
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10-04-2015, 10:52 PM
RE: Closure
Let me get this straight. Your unemployed ex-cop husband has custody because your erratic shifts as a nurse doesn't provide the same stability as an unemployed ex-cop? And you're the sole source of support for the poor kid who ain't got no fucking clue what's going on. You want Girly and GwoG to organize a posse?

#sigh
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10-04-2015, 10:58 PM
RE: Closure
[Image: lb2hdKc.gif]

Hang in there kid. This too shall pass.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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10-04-2015, 11:49 PM
RE: Closure




A song I sing to myself when life is hard.

Just breathe.
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11-04-2015, 12:27 AM
RE: Closure
(01-01-2015 06:44 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Well Vosur, I'm getting divorced.

Zeke, Been talking about alcohol because well fuck, I'm getting divorced. I actually drink a lot less now than I did back in the summer. (When we went out after the wedding Sunday night, I was drunk after two beers - I hadn't eaten cause, I knew I was going to be asking for divorce and had to sit through a goddamn wedding on one hour of sleep).

Third time I've drank this month. Wouldn't call that a problem. And I can't run and drink - and I'd much prefer to run.

But tonight, I'm getting drunk. Because... I'm getting divorced. It's January 1st. Think this qualifies as an ok time to imbibe a little. Tomorrow will be back to sober.

I'm sorry to find this out, I remember reading a few posts last year that made me wonder if things were okay. You are a strong person, and I hope that things work out as you wish them to.

I've never been married, something about it scares the shit out of me. lol Laugh out load

Hug

Be true to yourself. Heart
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11-04-2015, 01:57 AM
RE: Closure
(10-04-2015 10:52 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Let me get this straight. Your unemployed ex-cop husband has custody because your erratic shifts as a nurse doesn't provide the same stability as an unemployed ex-cop? And you're the sole source of support for the poor kid who ain't got no fucking clue what's going on. You want Girly and GwoG to organize a posse?

He got hired back by his department in January - but you're right, my erratic night shifts in a different city don't provide stability. He has a 9-5 job other than his call weeks - when my family and I keep him. He'll get to be the sole source of support when I go back to school.

FWIW, he really is a great dad. It's one of the things I've loved about him.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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11-04-2015, 02:00 AM
RE: Closure
Sure do feel bad for you, Nurse. I hope you can find your way back to a good place.
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11-04-2015, 04:21 AM
RE: Closure
(10-04-2015 08:27 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Hefe is great. Just don't make a habit out of it. Hug

Why not? It's the best beer ever. As long as she doesn't drink it 24/7, but that's true for any alcoholic beverage.

ETA: Oh wait, maybe I got what you meant.

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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11-04-2015, 08:54 AM
RE: Closure
(11-04-2015 04:21 AM)The Polyglot Atheist Wrote:  
(10-04-2015 08:27 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Hefe is great. Just don't make a habit out of it. Hug

Why not? It's the best beer ever. As long as she doesn't drink it 24/7, but that's true for any alcoholic beverage.

ETA: Oh wait, maybe I got what you meant.

Thumbsup

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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23-04-2015, 01:13 AM
RE: Closure
I'm a wreck.

He and I have been talking more. We talked about his day at work, just like we used to, and I realized just how much I missed those little things that are big things.

I've been trying to hold myself together, trying to move on... I'm sure y'all have gathered that by my posts about my extracurricular activities.

Ever since I asked for the divorce, he's been back to being friendly. Not cold. It was the indifference that was killing me. Turns out he was really depressed. And I can't blame him for that. I was, too.


I treated him terribly when we were married - he's not the only one that was passive aggressive and acted indifferent.

Letting him go without a fight - I can't do that. We can be good together - hell we can be GREAT together.


I tried texting him yesterday morning that we should meet up to talk about us. He said he cared about me, wants me to be happy, but that us being healthy is what is best for our son. He said that he wants someone who can take care of him, and that I need someone who can handle me being career oriented, and that our world views haven't changed. He said "It's nearly May, I think we've moved past the point of trying to repair things."

I know that's him saying he doesn't want to reopen Pandora's box.

So...I sent him an email.

I told him we could approach our marriage differently - we had a lot of hardships throughout much of our marriage. We're to a point now to where we could actually dare each other and go on family outings. I told him I'd come back to Huntsville, us take things slowly, and that once I get my debt paid off and some savings I would start working part time. I told him I could go to UAH for NP while either working part time or not working at all so I could be home more despite being in school. And that when I finished my degree, I'd still work part time.

I told him I don't care about things. I don't need or want a nice house. I want experiences.


I said if we care about each other this much to not hurt each other and look out for each other's best interests in the middle of a divorce - then we gave up too soon. We can fix this.

I haven't gotten my child support paperwork signed in front of a notary yet. That's needed before the divorce paperwork can be finished for signing.

I know it's unlikely he will want to try again. But I can't spend the rest of my life in regret over not speaking up. There's no perfect person or perfect relationship - and he and I have a lot of history together, and a lot of it good. He's a wonderful person - he's honest, kind, empathetic, (I could go on but I'll spare you).

I don't know how to let go.




"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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23-04-2015, 01:47 AM
RE: Closure
Credit to you for trying again. IMO... it's gonna be really hard even if he does agree.

Good luck Heart

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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