Closure
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02-01-2015, 10:35 AM
RE: Closure
(02-01-2015 09:20 AM)gofish! Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 08:58 AM)Dom Wrote:  Erm, fyi, I am female. Tongue

Sad Sorry....does it matter? Tongue

It matters to some of us. Dodgy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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02-01-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Closure
It's so cool you know what has to be done, and go about getting it done, and not being a woos, and dragging it out for years.

In a way, as hard as it is for kids, it's also a valuable lesson, and they can see mom and dad being civil, yet moving on.

In my short time working/being in the hospital, I've run into this again and again with nurses. Consider There's *something* about that .... they have the balls to move on with life. Maybe everyone does, but, how many times have we all seen unhappy couples living in misery ? Seems like nurses won't put up with nonsense. Thumbsup


Hug ... Hug ... Hug

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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02-01-2015, 10:51 AM
RE: Closure
Sometimes the brightest lights in our lives cast the biggest shadows.
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02-01-2015, 10:53 AM
RE: Closure
There's a lot of sadness here. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such an empathist when I see other people suffering. Your suffering is so strong and obvious that I can feel it from thousands of miles away just from reading a few words on this forum.

There's nothing I can say that can really help you, other than perhaps a small gesture of whatever comfort I could offer.

Hug

How can anyone become an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? I am an atheist because it is the natural state of being we are all born into.
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02-01-2015, 11:23 AM
RE: Closure
not sure how to really phrase this but thought it might help to remind you that the decisions made today about your son, don't have to be that way forever....you could land a different job next week and renegoiate it, know what I mean? Don't torture yourself about a choice made today- you can make a different choice tomorrow- and maybe that choice will be better for all involved. It doesnt have to be set in stone forever, unless you want it to be.

Heart


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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02-01-2015, 05:36 PM
RE: Closure
(02-01-2015 10:41 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  It's so cool you know what has to be done, and go about getting it done, and not being a woos, and dragging it out for years.

In a way, as hard as it is for kids, it's also a valuable lesson, and they can see mom and dad being civil, yet moving on.

In my short time working/being in the hospital, I've run into this again and again with nurses. Consider There's *something* about that .... they have the balls to move on with life. Maybe everyone does, but, how many times have we all seen unhappy couples living in misery ? Seems like nurses won't put up with nonsense. Thumbsup


Hug ... Hug ... Hug
Hug thanks for the kind words. All of you, thank you for the kind words.

In healthcare, you're forced to deal with tough situations, pick up and move on, whether you're ready to or not. I help facilitate tough conversations with patients and their families on a regular basis. It's a whole lot harder when the tough comversation is about your *own* life, your own future. I feel sooo.... raw. It really fucking hurts and I'm not capable of compartmentalizing this. I know it's the right thing to do, that we don't love each other, that there's more to be had in a relationship, more to be had out of life. It's just tough, ya know? I have never been single in my adult life. We were 18 when we met. I never dreamed he wouldn't be my partner at age 40, 50, 80... How do two people who make a life together grow so far apart? Were we never that alike to begin with?

I was looking through my Facebook pics and posts... 10 years worth of memories there.. We've been together 11, married for 8. If I were to untag the pics of us, the posts about daily events with him... There'd be very little left. What's left of me after this? I don't know how to keep that and move on. There were some very happy memories.. and it hurts so fucking much to look at that happy couple.. with such a promising future..That went to shit.

I took off my wedding rings and put them in the drawer. My hand feels naked. He hasn't worn his since August - mostly because it was too big, but he never went and got a spacer. I think I'm going to sell them when it's finalized. Maybe go on vacation.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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02-01-2015, 05:44 PM
RE: Closure
(02-01-2015 05:36 PM)Nurse Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 10:41 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  It's so cool you know what has to be done, and go about getting it done, and not being a woos, and dragging it out for years.

In a way, as hard as it is for kids, it's also a valuable lesson, and they can see mom and dad being civil, yet moving on.

In my short time working/being in the hospital, I've run into this again and again with nurses. Consider There's *something* about that .... they have the balls to move on with life. Maybe everyone does, but, how many times have we all seen unhappy couples living in misery ? Seems like nurses won't put up with nonsense. Thumbsup


Hug ... Hug ... Hug
Hug thanks for the kind words. All of you, thank you for the kind words.

In healthcare, you're forced to deal with tough situations, pick up and move on, whether you're ready to or not. I help facilitate tough conversations with patients and their families on a regular basis. It's a whole lot harder when the tough comversation is about your *own* life, your own future. I feel sooo.... raw. It really fucking hurts and I'm not capable of compartmentalizing this. I know it's the right thing to do, that we don't love each other, that there's more to be had in a relationship, more to be had out of life. It's just tough, ya know? I have never been single in my adult life. We were 18 when we met. I never dreamed he wouldn't be my partner at age 40, 50, 80... How do two people who make a life together grow so far apart? Were we never that alike to begin with?

I was looking through my Facebook pics and posts... 10 years worth of memories there.. We've been together 11, married for 8. If I were to untag the pics of us, the posts about daily events with him... There'd be very little left. What's left of me after this? I don't know how to keep that and move on. There were some very happy memories.. and it hurts so fucking much to look at that happy couple.. with such a promising future..That went to shit.

I took off my wedding rings and put them in the drawer. My hand feels naked. He hasn't worn his since August - mostly because it was too big, but he never went and got a spacer. I think I'm going to sell them when it's finalized. Maybe go on vacation.

You will MAKE your future. Day by single day. It will be painful, but time heals.
In a while, you will know that really you have lost nothing, but gained immeasurably, when you can see it in perspective. The past will remain intact.
And you will have a real future.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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02-01-2015, 05:50 PM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2015 07:25 PM by Anjele.)
RE: Closure
From your posts I know you saw this coming. It's that finally saying it out loud and taking the steps that makes it real. Real isn't always all that pleasant but at least it's not living a lie. In time, that will be easier to see.

Change is often what we need and/or what we want. Stepping out into a new life is scary but can also be exciting.

You just got a raise. You soon to be ex got his job back. The time is right. You aren't bound together with just the struggle to survive - and that struggle may be what brought you to this point.

Vent away, we are here and many of us have been through similar things.

As for being able to handle tough situations with others in your job - not the same when it's you.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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02-01-2015, 07:25 PM
RE: Closure
Others have said it so much better, so I'll just leave you with a Hug.

It *will* get better, I promise.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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02-01-2015, 07:57 PM
RE: Closure
Hi, I am new here also, and I don't know you very well. I do have experience, and know on some level what you are going through.Heart The pain is was so intense at times, I didn't know if I could survive.
I was married for 12 years, together for 15. got together at 20, divorced at 35. with children.

One of the things that really helped me is kind of sappy, but it was the small book "How to get over the Loss of a Love". Hugs to you. You have a lot of support here.

And this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1q5NkMk_y0
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