Coming Out or not with christian friends
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
19-05-2017, 02:51 PM
Rainbow Coming Out or not with christian friends
I am gay and living with my ex. We were going to our local MCC Church but I stopped going about two months ago. He is still very involved at the church. Most of my friends go to the church. The church is very social and I do enjoy the activities that they have. I have come out to my ex and he sort of understands. (He was brought up in "The Church of the Brethren" in Roanoke, VA, I was brought up Roman Catholic). I have not come out to any of our other friends. One of our best friends is a semi-retired pastor of MCC and her wife. We socialize quite a bit outside of the church. When we go out to eat there is always a prayer with everyone holding hands. I feel like a hypocrite for joining in. I would like to go back to the church and attend the Sunday service because I enjoy the music and the fellowship after the service and the other social activities just not the gospel readings and such. Any advice?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
19-05-2017, 03:14 PM
RE: Coming Out or not with christian friends
My trans support group is at an MCC church. Personally, I didn't have any problems talking about being an atheist, as it related to my messed up relationship with my very Christian dad. Aside from a brief attempt of some in the group who attend the MCC trying to talk me into believing again, they really don't seem to care and nothing has changed.

I am doubtful that your friends will turn on you, at least based on my limited experience with people from an MCC church. You can always hold hands and bow your head out of respect for their beliefs, but it helps if they understand that you don't believe and you're doing that for them and not yourself.

The decision should always be yours about whether or not to come out in any capacity, but I would imagine that you'd be okay there. Of course, I don't know them like you do. Anyway- best of luck to you in that! Big Grin
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Emma's post
19-05-2017, 03:55 PM
RE: Coming Out or not with christian friends
It is so important not to lose your social community and support systems. I agree with Emma that most likely your friends will accept you for who you are and not what you believe about God. A few might be taken aback, but I have found that people I already know who find out that I am an atheist...well, it hasn't made any difference in our relationship. Although, I do know that they pray for me because they have told me. And...whaddya do? You thank them and carry on.

I miss the singing and the celebration.

When I am at a public function or with a private group of Christians and there is a prayer/grace being said, I listen to the sentiment behind the words and usually it is an agreeable one, but I don't pretend to pray.

It only matters to me that I know that I am an atheist. I am beyond telling others that I am, unless I feel that they should know more about me during a growing friendship, that is, I don't want to mislead anyone.

Enjoy the social interaction and the music. You are only a hypocrite if you pretend to be going to church for the sake of your "soul"... Don't pretend, be up front with your friends. Life is too harsh and short to push friendship and love away.

Think about something else during the sermon...like a topic for this website.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Jeanne's post
19-05-2017, 04:02 PM
RE: Coming Out or not with christian friends
(19-05-2017 03:14 PM)Emma Wrote:  My trans support group is at an MCC church. Personally, I didn't have any problems talking about being an atheist, as it related to my messed up relationship with my very Christian dad. Aside from a brief attempt of some in the group who attend the MCC trying to talk me into believing again, they really don't seem to care and nothing has changed.

I am doubtful that your friends will turn on you, at least based on my limited experience with people from an MCC church. You can always hold hands and bow your head out of respect for their beliefs, but it helps if they understand that you don't believe and you're doing that for them and not yourself.

The decision should always be yours about whether or not to come out in any capacity, but I would imagine that you'd be okay there. Of course, I don't know them like you do. Anyway- best of luck to you in that! Big Grin

Thank you Emma! You have been a great help! Who would have thought you might have to come "out" more than once. Once was enough!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
19-05-2017, 04:04 PM
RE: Coming Out or not with christian friends
(19-05-2017 03:55 PM)Jeanne Wrote:  It is so important not to lose your social community and support systems. I agree with Emma that most likely your friends will accept you for who you are and not what you believe about God. A few might be taken aback, but I have found that people I already know who find out that I am an atheist...well, it hasn't made any difference in our relationship. Although, I do know that they pray for me because they have told me. And...whaddya do? You thank them and carry on.

I miss the singing and the celebration.

When I am at a public function or with a private group of Christians and there is a prayer/grace being said, I listen to the sentiment behind the words and usually it is an agreeable one, but I don't pretend to pray.

It only matters to me that I know that I am an atheist. I am beyond telling others that I am, unless I feel that they should know more about me during a growing friendship, that is, I don't want to mislead anyone.

Enjoy the social interaction and the music. You are only a hypocrite if you pretend to be going to church for the sake of your "soul"... Don't pretend, be up front with your friends. Life is too harsh and short to push friendship and love away.

Think about something else during the sermon...like a topic for this website.

-Jeanne

Jeanne, thank you for your thoughts. You have given me some good ideas.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: