Coming out
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10-02-2015, 10:20 AM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 09:49 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 09:41 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  -my church has a very low divorce rate and a lot of tools on board for marriage counseling, both secular and religious in nature.

I bet there ARE a lot of tools at your church......

Laughat

Yes, and with a 2% divorce rate, also. Whereas here at TTA I think their are a lot of nice people who I'd probably love hanging with offline, having a beer, watching sports, shooting the breeze. So there's that.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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10-02-2015, 10:30 AM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 10:20 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 09:49 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I bet there ARE a lot of tools at your church......

Laughat

Yes, and with a 2% divorce rate, also. Whereas here at TTA I think their are a lot of nice people who I'd probably love hanging with offline, having a beer, watching sports, shooting the breeze. So there's that.

I've seen how churches keep their "2 percent divorce rate" -- it's called "Excommunication" - and reserved to those folks who dare to question what's taught...... I HAVE seen this.

..

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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10-02-2015, 10:47 AM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 10:30 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 10:20 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Yes, and with a 2% divorce rate, also. Whereas here at TTA I think their are a lot of nice people who I'd probably love hanging with offline, having a beer, watching sports, shooting the breeze. So there's that.

I've seen how churches keep their "2 percent divorce rate" -- it's called "Excommunication" - and reserved to those folks who dare to question what's taught...... I HAVE seen this.

..

I imagine you may have, although the churches I know that excommunicate for divorce and/or other teachings have significantly higher rates. I'd attribute our rate to premarital counseling, adherence to the Bible as the authority above all--anyone is welcomed to question a church leader re: their Bible stance/interpretation, etc., a culture of love and affirmation--and knowing that all my saved friends are married and sticking to it.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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10-02-2015, 10:54 AM
RE: Coming out
(06-02-2015 10:34 PM)TheAmazingAtheist Wrote:  I think my parents are nearing a divorce and my dad tells my mom that God put them together for forever. I want to tell him that he is ridiculous for thinking this way, but that would tell him that I no longer believe in God. I think my mom wants to get a divorce but fears eternal hell fire from our loving God. I just want to tell her that it's ok to get a divorce and there's no evidence that this hell exists. So anybody have a good way to tell my parents about my rationality without hurting their feelings?

Tell your mom to get out for the sake of her sanity and her future. If she feels strongly for her faith, ask her if her god would want her to continue to be the victim of such negativity, stifled growth, and emotional abuse. Her children are independent yet, may still seek her guidance and strength as an accomplished independent adult. Without her ability to know her own independent self, she will be lacking in advice and confidence if called to support another loved one.

Advise her that though you do not share her beliefs, you love and respect her just as you trust she loves and respects you. She doesn't need to know to what degree you do not share her belief, just keep any advice and support focused on her and her situation.

Your mom has accomplished motherhood but is restricted in many aspects of her life because of her stifling relationship. Dissolving this relationship will be frightening but ultimately rewarding for her, the family, and her future. Reassure her with support and respect; if she can see this strength in you, she will be seeing a strong, confident, independent person whom she has raised. This is something she needs to see ... for herself ... and for you.

Before she hears the word atheist, she needs to see for herself what that is. Let her see your strength, your rational, levelheaded support, your respect; let her love the atheist... before she knows that's what you are.

Good luck. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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10-02-2015, 12:07 PM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 10:47 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 10:30 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I've seen how churches keep their "2 percent divorce rate" -- it's called "Excommunication" - and reserved to those folks who dare to question what's taught...... I HAVE seen this.

..

I imagine you may have, although the churches I know that excommunicate for divorce and/or other teachings have significantly higher rates. I'd attribute our rate to premarital counseling, adherence to the Bible as the authority above all--anyone is welcomed to question a church leader re: their Bible stance/interpretation, etc., a culture of love and affirmation--and knowing that all my saved friends are married and sticking to it.

This is a church of what - 3 members, counting yourself??

...

I smell something.... and it ain't cookies.....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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10-02-2015, 03:02 PM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 10:54 AM)kim Wrote:  
(06-02-2015 10:34 PM)TheAmazingAtheist Wrote:  I think my parents are nearing a divorce and my dad tells my mom that God put them together for forever. I want to tell him that he is ridiculous for thinking this way, but that would tell him that I no longer believe in God. I think my mom wants to get a divorce but fears eternal hell fire from our loving God. I just want to tell her that it's ok to get a divorce and there's no evidence that this hell exists. So anybody have a good way to tell my parents about my rationality without hurting their feelings?

Tell your mom to get out for the sake of her sanity and her future. If she feels strongly for her faith, ask her if her god would want her to continue to be the victim of such negativity, stifled growth, and emotional abuse. Her children are independent yet, may still seek her guidance and strength as an accomplished independent adult. Without her ability to know her own independent self, she will be lacking in advice and confidence if called to support another loved one.

Advise her that though you do not share her beliefs, you love and respect her just as you trust she loves and respects you. She doesn't need to know to what degree you do not share her belief, just keep any advice and support focused on her and her situation.

Your mom has accomplished motherhood but is restricted in many aspects of her life because of her stifling relationship. Dissolving this relationship will be frightening but ultimately rewarding for her, the family, and her future. Reassure her with support and respect; if she can see this strength in you, she will be seeing a strong, confident, independent person whom she has raised. This is something she needs to see ... for herself ... and for you.

Before she hears the word atheist, she needs to see for herself what that is. Let her see your strength, your rational, levelheaded support, your respect; let her love the atheist... before she knows that's what you are.

Good luck. Shy

Assumptions here include that all these negative things--"such negativity, stifled growth, and emotional abuse" come from dad because he's a theist. That's the kind of a priori thinking that is damaging. Again, I would see what my parents are doing but also try to get a bit more data from mom and/or dad as parents are often different behind closed doors.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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10-02-2015, 03:03 PM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 12:07 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 10:47 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  I imagine you may have, although the churches I know that excommunicate for divorce and/or other teachings have significantly higher rates. I'd attribute our rate to premarital counseling, adherence to the Bible as the authority above all--anyone is welcomed to question a church leader re: their Bible stance/interpretation, etc., a culture of love and affirmation--and knowing that all my saved friends are married and sticking to it.

This is a church of what - 3 members, counting yourself??

...

I smell something.... and it ain't cookies.....

A church movement of tens of thousands of people, internationally. Very strong on families and the gospel.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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10-02-2015, 03:57 PM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 09:49 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 09:41 AM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  -my church has a very low divorce rate and a lot of tools on board for marriage counseling, both secular and religious in nature.

I bet there ARE a lot of tools at your church......

Laughat


[Image: n737ORi_zpsjaewzr4o.gif]
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11-02-2015, 03:44 PM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 03:02 PM)The Q Continuum Wrote:  Assumptions here include that all these negative things--"such negativity, stifled growth, and emotional abuse" come from dad because he's a theist. That's the kind of a priori thinking that is damaging. Again, I would see what my parents are doing but also try to get a bit more data from mom and/or dad as parents are often different behind closed doors.

Uhm, no. The mother wants out of the marriage - this is definite. The father has been stated as using the couple's faith to keep the mother in a marriage she has made clear she wants out of.

Aside from the fact that the father is trying to use faith as leverage to control the mother, this has nothing to do with theist or atheist, Q dork. This is about a relationship that doesn't work. Jesus fucking Christ ... when a relationship goes south just get out and heal. Beating a dead horse just adds to the agony for everyone.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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11-02-2015, 03:46 PM
RE: Coming out
(10-02-2015 03:57 PM)pablo Wrote:  
(10-02-2015 09:49 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  I bet there ARE a lot of tools at your church......

Laughat


[Image: n737ORi_zpsjaewzr4o.gif]

You do know Stephen Colbert is a religious person, right? I've seen him debate people on his show defending Christ's deity and etc.

I'm told atheists on forums like TTA are bitter and angry. If you are not, your posts to me will be respectful, insightful and thoughtful. Prove me wrong by your adherence to decent behavior.
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