Coming out
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22-04-2012, 10:29 AM
RE: Coming out
What are you trying to achieve and with which family members? Is there a reason you need to tell anyone now or later? What is the cost/benefits of them knowing vs. not knowing (theirs and yours)? How often do you interact with any of them? How much do you care of their opinion/acceptance of you? How tolerant can you now be of their world views? Answers to those type questions should help drive the answers to your original question.

Your beliefs do not make you a better person, your behavior does.
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22-04-2012, 07:07 PM (This post was last modified: 22-04-2012 07:11 PM by publius2k4.)
RE: Coming out
(22-04-2012 10:29 AM)Debzilla Wrote:  What are you trying to achieve and with which family members? Is there a reason you need to tell anyone now or later? What is the cost/benefits of them knowing vs. not knowing (theirs and yours)? How often do you interact with any of them? How much do you care of their opinion/acceptance of you? How tolerant can you now be of their world views? Answers to those type questions should help drive the answers to your original question.
I'm simply trying to get to a point with my father's immediate family (who I interact with quite often) where I don't feel like I'm lying or being dishonest with them. I am very tolerant of their world and religious views, as I am with most people who aren't overly defensive or offensive when they are suddenly confronted with the thought that there are people in the world with different opinions of them. Their opinion means a lot to me, and their acceptance as well. However, I need to follow my own path, and I feel that if they can't respect me for following my heart then they never had my best interests at heart to begin with. I'm not trying to create a family feud or debate opinions with them. That's why I'm asking for opinions of the best way to "let them down gently" if that makes sense.....
(22-04-2012 09:59 AM)IGotCoolSocks Wrote:  i told my family all individually, when the time was right, i knew. My mother and little sister cried, my dad yelled at me for making them cry, and my other sisters laughed and pretty much think it a phase. But I didnt HAVE to come out, but if youre anything like me... i NEEDED too. My family is still my family no matter what they or I believe. I feel 1000 times better now, and i kinda feel like they understand me (whether for the better, im not sure) more.
I know exactly what you're saying. Like I said before, I'm less concerned with their opinions than I am concerned with the fact that I'll become their "project" ..... "we gotta win him back for the lord!" Were you raised in a very religious home? What lead you to your beliefs?

publius2k4

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Carl Sagan
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22-04-2012, 10:53 PM
RE: Coming out
(22-04-2012 07:07 PM)publius2k4 Wrote:  I know exactly what you're saying. Like I said before, I'm less concerned with their opinions than I am concerned with the fact that I'll become their "project" ..... "we gotta win him back for the lord!" Were you raised in a very religious home? What lead you to your beliefs?
I was raised very southern baptist. Church was never really "forced" on me. it was just something that i just did... i went every Sunday and wed. I was very active all the way thru high school. I would even read the Bible like it was a book, which prob made me the great atheist i am today. Big Grin I'm not sure when i decided it was all a hoax, but it was a gradual process. Meeting an atheist friend helped me a lot. ( at the time, i was like most uniformed "christians", i didn't really know there were "real" people out there w/my same doubts.) I don't bring up religion with my family anymore. I still bow my head during prayers etc.. I don't feel the need to drag it out. they know, and that's all the matters to me.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours"
Richard Dawkins


"Do not pray in my school, and I will not think in your church."
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