Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
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02-06-2017, 02:01 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(01-06-2017 01:16 PM)Emma Wrote:  I have come out as an atheist, then as bisexual, then as transgender. Coming out as trans was by far the hardest and worst.

Most people in my life know I'm an atheist. My super-religious dad didn't like me being an atheist, but accepted it. We've had several friendly debates over the years, and they were pretty fun! But I wasn't in a place where my home and family were at risk of punishing me. I was already financial independent of my parents, so my dad couldn't do anything about it except try to win me back for god. My wife was already an atheist, so no risk of her being upset either. She was quite glad.

Coming out bi- eh, kind of a stretch to say I "came out" as bi, but in some ways I did. I told some friends, and I told my boss. Of course, first I told my wife. She was okay with it. It wasn't altogether relevant because I was already married and monogamous. I told my boss with my friend because we both wanted her to know that there were LGBT people in the office. It wasn't really that big a deal in any place. In my case, it totally wasn't the same as someone coming out as gay.

But coming out as trans was another story altogether. This was the first time I was really worried about losing my wife, my job, and my family. And it was difficult for my wife to accept and adjust. Hell it was difficult for me, too. It was difficult for my co-workers, some more than others. And my dad pretty much disowned me.

It's going to be different for every person. You can't categorically say one is worse than the other. It depends entirely on the situations you are in. But for me, coming out as trans was absolutely the hardest.

Hug that sucks, that people would treat you like that, for the latter "coming out" at least. Its a strange one, as barring the homophobic and people that just can't wrap their tiny minds around stuff like Gay/BI-sexuality or being trans for example, most people "know" before the other person says anything.

A friends cousin recently came out as Lesbian, despite almost marrying a man about a year before, and her mum just said "I know love, we all know...we were just waiting for you to get it". Then again I've also known others to react very badly to it, for reasons I'll never understand.

To the OP - I'm not sure coming out as Atheist or anything LBGT is the same or not to be honest, I suppose it depends on your circumstances (what country you live in/your parents etc). For example: I live in England, everybody I know is well aware Im an Atheist, and If I "came out" as being gay/bi/whatever else tomorrow, I honestly can't think of a single person that would say anything other than "Ok then.....want a cup of tea?" lol. But in other area's of the world Atheism and sexuality are deep in the cores of society that it's a big no-no.

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02-06-2017, 06:28 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
I was just wondering; do you think the people of the US...or any other nation... will vote for an openly homosexual person before they ever vote for an atheist person for Governor or President? I doubt my small town or county would vote for an atheist, but almost voted in a local business owner who is gay many years ago. He is even more liked now...who knows? Well..they are devout Christians, who have been very involved with local church/school events and good parents, "despite being gay."

I mean an actual die-hard, declared atheist, who makes no excuses about it... Which has a better chance of being voted into public office of any state or federal standing?

And...Emma, I think you are right to state that coming out transgender is the hardest. My gay friends even find the concept difficult to deal with; that is they find it too complicated. Kudos to you, my dear and..love your heart.

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02-06-2017, 06:42 AM (This post was last modified: 02-06-2017 06:45 AM by abaris.)
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(02-06-2017 06:28 AM)Jeanne Wrote:  I was just wondering; do you think the people of the US...or any other nation... will vote for an openly homosexual person before they ever vote for an atheist person for Governor or President?

We had two agnostic atheists being elected for president in a row. The last one held office between 2004 and 2016 (two terms), the other one got elected last year. One of our longterm chancellors, between 1970 and 1983 was a jewish atheist. In general, people don't know about religion and people don't ask for religion unless it's common knowledge. Which obviously doesn't play any role in any political campaign.

The people of Berlin elected an openly gay candidate for mayor. Another large German city, Hamburg, also had an openly gay mayor holding office for several terms. Interestingly one a social democrat, the other one a conservative. Which also points to European conservatives having a different understanding than the conservatives in the US. The longtime leader of the German libertarian party (FDP) was openly gay and, when being foreign minister of Germany, took his partner to visits in foreign countries.

One of the mayors of Paris had been openly gay. Which didn't prevent him from being elected.

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02-06-2017, 06:42 AM (This post was last modified: 02-06-2017 06:49 AM by Vera.)
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(02-06-2017 06:28 AM)Jeanne Wrote:  I was just wondering; do you think the people of the US...or any other nation... will vote for an openly homosexual person before they ever vote for an atheist person for Governor or President? I doubt my small town or county would vote for an atheist, but almost voted in a local business owner who is gay many years ago. He is even more liked now...who knows? Well..they are devout Christians, who have been very involved with local church/school events and good parents, "despite being gay."

(15-05-2015 12:45 PM)Vera Wrote:  "Luxembourg's prime minister married his civil partner on Friday, becoming the first serving leader in the European Union to wed someone of the same sex.
[…]
Five years ago, Johanna Sigurdardottir, then the prime minister of Iceland, became the first serving government leader in the world to marry a same-sex partner.”


And this is why I love my continent. (Well, one of many reasons.)

Also, the whole "despite" thing makes my blood boil. Even more so the infinitely more condescending "I accept that you are gay (and still love you, etc.)" There is NOTHING to accept, you bigoted jerk! Or would you tell me "I accept that you have brown eyes". The amount of self-congratulatory condescension and superiority, and self-righteousness in statements like this makes me want to punch someone (and I'm as non-violent as you can actually be) AngryCensoredAngry


As for atheists being elected - no problem. In Europe. Hell, it's been my impression that in some countries people look at you funny if you *are* religious. The way it should be, really.

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02-06-2017, 06:49 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(02-06-2017 06:42 AM)Vera Wrote:  Also, the whole "despite" thing makes my blood boil. Even more so the infinitely more condescending "I accept that you are gay (and still love you, etc.)" There is NOTHING to accept, you bigoted jerk! Or would tell me "I accept that you have brown eyes".

When one of my best friends told me he was gay, my gut reaction was to ask, so what?

I guess, that should be the normal reaction, since it's still the same person.

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02-06-2017, 06:54 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
Where I live, we have an openly gay provincial premier, a number of openly gay business and political leaders, plenty of interracial marriages, and atheists are a dime-a-dozen. There's no "despite" about it, it's just a fact of life.

Nobody really gives it a second thought. And we manage pretty well, thanks very much.
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02-06-2017, 07:26 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
And since it's really such a small part of who they are. Like Cillian Murphy said "To me, someone's sexuality is usually the least interesting thing about them. It's secondary. The only reason it becomes a source for dramatic storytelling is because people have made such an issue out of it." Unless you, yourself, are personally attracted to someone, their orientation really makes no difference to you (or anyone else). Or at least it shouldn't.

And yeah, one day it won't (make any difference, I mean). Won't live to see it, sadly, not everywhere, and it doesn't make it any easier for people who are been discriminated against right now, but still... it's something. Ain't it? Confused

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02-06-2017, 08:26 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
I'm skeptical that in my neck of the woods someone who is either would get elected. But if I were to hazard a guess, I'd say an openly gay person would likely be elected over atheist, trans, etc. But- this area is super conservative, so I doubt even a gay person could get elected.

No

It's fucking stupid.
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03-06-2017, 01:53 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
There's another one, as I just read on the news. Ireland's ruling party just elected Leo Varadkar, an openly gay man, to be the prime minister. That's a huge step for a country that had been a near theocracy for so many decades.

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03-06-2017, 07:34 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
In the UK you can be LGBT and a Atheist and no one bats a eye lid. Life is wonderful.
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