Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
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18-09-2017, 01:23 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
I've come out as both asexual and atheist.

Both were hard in their own ways. Coming out as asexual is hard because some people don't believe asexuals exist. A vast majority of the replies when I came out as asexual to my friends and family basically amounted to "What is that?" and "You just haven't met the right person." But coming out as atheist is pretty hard too, because of the instant judgements that you can get from people.

Right now, coming out as atheist is harder. I've known that I was asexual for years and even before I knew what asexuality was I knew I was different from most teenagers because of my complete lack of interest in sex. I've had years to come to terms with it. As for atheism, that's a newer thing. Unlike my asexuality, I wasn't like that from the start. I grew up Christian and was a devote Christian up until my late teens, and then spent several years lingering in-between religion and atheism. Maybe once I've had more time to grow comfortable with my atheism like I've had the chance to grow comfortable with my asexuality, coming out as both with be mentally the same.

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"Who is the clergy?"
"A bunch of mindless idiots who were the first against the wall when the revolution came."
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23-09-2017, 11:33 PM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
Very interesting thread.

I wouldn’t say either is better or worse. It really depends on each individual’s situation.

Like Emma, I too am a trans woman and, for me, coming out as trans has been the hardest thing in my life by a huge distance. I think I am unlikely to ever see my dad or two of my brothers again for the rest of my life. For me, being an atheist is a piece of cake. I’m a fairly strong minded character and not one to be easily backed up by fear of what theists might say.

That being said, I’ve heard plenty of people, particularly in the Islamic community, talk about how their very lives have been at risk, even from their own families, for coming out as an atheist. I’ve also met enough gay muslims and I’m not sure which is actually worse for them. Both have seen countless numbers murdered for who they are.

Personally, I have always seen these religious books as grossly out of date rule books. I think most of the prejudices that still exist in society can be traced back to what was written in these books thousands of years ago.

As someone from the LGBT community, I believe passionately in inclusiveness and being able to accept difference in virtually any situation. However, it does have one major downside, which is the current trend towards accepting different religions.

I do not believe in god and I believe that religion is massively damaging to society. Tolerating religion just means encouraging more people to take up believing in these out of date rule books and the huge amount of prejudice contained within them. That is something I cannot do.
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24-09-2017, 03:20 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
I have no fear of disclosing my atheism at heart - personally, it is a non-issue even when it comes to religious and Evangelical atheist-bashers around.

However, I'm still a closeted gay with fears of gay-bashers that abound far and wide.
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24-09-2017, 07:20 AM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(24-09-2017 03:20 AM)Thinker Wrote:  I have no fear of disclosing my atheism at heart - personally, it is a non-issue even when it comes to religious and Evangelical atheist-bashers around.

However, I'm still a closeted gay with fears of gay-bashers that abound far and wide.

You have other things to worry about than being gay-bashed. Drinking Beverage

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-09-2017, 12:31 PM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(01-06-2017 01:01 PM)GMSkeptic Wrote:  Do you think atheist and LGBT people in the closet share similar feelings and/or experiences? What about coming out experiences? I've heard people say that coming out atheist is often worse actually...

Having done neither ("coming out") I can't comment other than to presume.

I'd be guessing that going public with one's LGBTI status would be far, far more confronting and potentially overwhelming than merely saying one was an atheist. The LGBTI-coming-out scenario presents the possibility of major repercussions in one's life; with parents, siblings, friends, workmates, employers, even casual acquaintances. And the angst-ridden, mental stressors in the short term; fears or confusion, loss of self-esteem, social exclusion or mockery, workplace harassment, depression or anxiety disorders, dietary issues, even the loss of longtime friends.

On the other hand, describing yourself as an atheist—at least here in Australia—has far less potential, if any, to cause any social disruption or personal angst.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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24-09-2017, 07:07 PM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(24-09-2017 07:20 AM)Anjele Wrote:  
(24-09-2017 03:20 AM)Thinker Wrote:  I have no fear of disclosing my atheism at heart - personally, it is a non-issue even when it comes to religious and Evangelical atheist-bashers around.

However, I'm still a closeted gay with fears of gay-bashers that abound far and wide.

You have other things to worry about than being gay-bashed. Drinking Beverage

No, my biggest depression comes from the sense of denial to indulge in gay sex and relationships to date - everything else is secondary. If you don't believe me, you can inquire about that on another forum - AFA where I'm well known and a little popular with Australian atheists. I'll PM you my username there if you're curious.
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24-09-2017, 07:08 PM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(24-09-2017 07:07 PM)Thinker Wrote:  
(24-09-2017 07:20 AM)Anjele Wrote:  You have other things to worry about than being gay-bashed. Drinking Beverage

No, my biggest depression comes from the sense of denial to indulge in gay sex and relationships to date - everything else is secondary. If you don't believe me, you can inquire about that on another forum - AFA where I'm well known and a little popular with Australian atheists. I'll PM you my username there if you're curious.

Do not PM me anything. Ever.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-09-2017, 07:12 PM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
(24-09-2017 07:08 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(24-09-2017 07:07 PM)Thinker Wrote:  No, my biggest depression comes from the sense of denial to indulge in gay sex and relationships to date - everything else is secondary. If you don't believe me, you can inquire about that on another forum - AFA where I'm well known and a little popular with Australian atheists. I'll PM you my username there if you're curious.

Do not PM me anything. Ever.

That's fine. I hope all is well.
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16-12-2017, 05:30 PM
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
I've come out as an atheist to my family, and to be honest it was rough. My dad loves me enough to ultimately accept my beliefs (or lack thereof) but my mom seems to still be in denial. A lot of hurtful things were said but at least she's stopped talking about it for the most part. At least for theists, there is hope that nonbelievers will ultimately change their minds and "find the right path."

As far as LGBT+ goes, I live in a fairly homophobic household and although I am a bisexual, I do not plan on coming out to my mom anytime soon if even at all. I came out to my dad about a year and a half ago, and he accepted it much more willingly than he accepted my atheism. In his case I think this is because he understands that you have no control over sexuality, but believes that my atheism was my choice that could affect my fate in the afterlife. He is also someone who doesn't know all that much about the Bible, and has pretty modern/moderate beliefs so I don't think he thinks God hates homosexuals as much as he supposedly does according to the OT lol

Ultimately, as others on this thread have already pointed out, I think it really depends on who you are coming out to and what their beliefs are. If you're planning on coming out yourself, I'd suggest casually bringing up these subjects (while keeping the focus away from you and your own life) just to test the waters and gather some info on what they think.

Ofc this is all purely anecdotal so it's different for everyone, but I hope this helped a little coming from someone who is both an atheist and a member of the LGBT+ community Big Grin

Stand on your own shoulders. The giants won't always be there.
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17-12-2017, 10:05 AM (This post was last modified: 17-12-2017 10:51 AM by Tennpenn83.)
RE: Coming out atheist vs. LGBT
I would not pretend to be more "qualified" to answer this than others' speculation, however, I contend a unique point of view.

My brother and I are alike in many different ways. Same general personality, same general idea about religion (both atheists, I'm more learned and active, he's more passive), both same age ~ only around 10 months separate us. He's gay, I'm not. That's pretty much it.

We were raised Mormon. Breaking the law of chastity is a sexual sin, whether it be rape, sex before marriage, sex outside of marriage, masturbation, or homosexuality or others not specifically defined. This sin of breaking the law of chastity is the worst sin, next to murder. That is the only thing worse than a sexual sin is murder/abortion.

He came out as gay a few years ago, and while it was one of the hardest things he'd ever told to the family, close friends, etc, neither one of us has told anyone from our upbringing about our atheism (other than just each other). He'd rather tell them he's gay than tell them that he's an atheist. I have no plans to tell them I'm atheist either.

I can only imagine if he were to tell my parents et al.. that he were trans. He's not, but to imagine that is like slapping god in the face and telling him that he fucked up, got your gender wrong.

If at work or in public, I don't care who knows I am atheist. But to people I grew up with or parents, aunts, uncles, etc... Nobody knows. I live far enough away from my hometown and don't post much on social media that it's doubtful anyone from my upbringing knows or cares.

I guess I see it as you are still salvageable if you "sin," such as being homosexual. But if you deny that there is such a sin, or deny that there is a god to sin against, that is one from which you cannot repent.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
--Mark Twain
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