Coming out(no homo :P)
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11-03-2017, 09:21 AM
Coming out(no homo :P)
For months now I have evaded going to church. My mothers solution is to keep bible studies at home. Which is fine, I can spend 1 hour if it'll get my mom off my back.

But now they are pressuring me to get more involved. For a few weeks now, they insist that I take baptism and "cement my place in the kingdom of God".

My grades are high, I'm a healthy kid,I dont do drugs, I mean.. you gotta admit, she's got a better deal than most other moms.

I understand that religions gives her life meaning and as she gets older it will get even more important. I know the consequences. She'll be very upset. I wont get kicked out or anything.

I have prepared for this case by spending countless hours reading about shit that really will never be of any use. I never really cared much for history. If I ever were to get into an argument, I thought science and logic would be enough. My father is already an atheist and he didnt even have to read any of the shit I did Big Grin

I can feel it. The imminence is in the air. Last week the pastor asked me straight up what my problem was. Next week will be more of the same I suppose. They just want me to take baptism. Should I?
Am I not just lying to them if I take baptism?

Its not about the consequence. I mean, my mom will be upset, but it'll pass with time. Its about doing what is right.

My minds mostly made up. If they push me hard enough, I will do what I gotta do.

But just so my conscience is clear. What is the "right" thing?
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11-03-2017, 09:30 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
(11-03-2017 09:21 AM)underdogFTW Wrote:  For months now I have evaded going to church. My mothers solution is to keep bible studies at home. Which is fine, I can spend 1 hour if it'll get my mom off my back.

But now they are pressuring me to get more involved. For a few weeks now, they insist that I take baptism and "cement my place in the kingdom of God".

My grades are high, I'm a healthy kid,I dont do drugs, I mean.. you gotta admit, she's got a better deal than most other moms.

I understand that religions gives her life meaning and as she gets older it will get even more important. I know the consequences. She'll be very upset. I wont get kicked out or anything.

I have prepared for this case by spending countless hours reading about shit that really will never be of any use. I never really cared much for history. If I ever were to get into an argument, I thought science and logic would be enough. My father is already an atheist and he didnt even have to read any of the shit I did Big Grin

I can feel it. The imminence is in the air. Last week the pastor asked me straight up what my problem was. Next week will be more of the same I suppose. They just want me to take baptism. Should I?
Am I not just lying to them if I take baptism?

Its not about the consequence. I mean, my mom will be upset, but it'll pass with time. Its about doing what is right.

My minds mostly made up. If they push me hard enough, I will do what I gotta do.

But just so my conscience is clear. What is the "right" thing?

I don't know how old you are and how much longer you will be living with them.

If it doesn't much bother you, maybe just go through with it - you could let her know it's for her.

It's always hard to have an opinion when I don't know each of the persons involved, because it's difficult to predict the results.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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11-03-2017, 09:32 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
You said it yourself: religion gives your mom's life meaning.

Even if you and I think that religion is bunk, it still matters to her, like it does to a lot of people. (That's why you'll never hear - or read - me denigrating someone specifically because of their faith. I may criticize the faith system, but I refrain from criticizing specific people because they believe in X, Y or Z.)

So bear that in mind.

Baptism is a big step for believers. While I don't know the temperament of your pastor, if he or she is a reasonable person, you can probably get away with something like, "This (baptism) is a huge step. I don't think I'm prepared to take that step at this time. If and when it becomes time, you'll be the first to know." Something like that might be appropriate.

How old are you? Not that that matters here, but it might provide some context and clarification in helping craft an appropriate response.
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11-03-2017, 09:32 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
Be honest and tell the truth. You have made a rational effort to justify belief in God and have found no evidence to support his existence or the validity of the Christian faith.

“Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.” (Thomas Jefferson)
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11-03-2017, 09:35 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
Seems to me that you sound old enough to make the decision of getting baptized or not.

You said your mom would be upset but she wouldn't kick you out. That's good news...we get people here who do get dumped by family when they leave religion.

If all else fails, tell then you aren't going to do it because you aren't sure it's right for you at this time.

Good luck...use the Bible study time as a way to placate mom a bit and to learn more about what you are/have walked away from.

As for the pushy pastor...you may need to stand your ground with him (I assume him). He is trying to get another soul sticker on his robes or jewel in his crown. Dodgy

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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11-03-2017, 09:37 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
***maybe pastor has a quota to meet...with Easter coming up and all. Tongue

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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11-03-2017, 10:36 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
One great thing - your dad's in your corner. You lucked out there....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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11-03-2017, 11:18 PM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
I was baptized at like 6 years old I think, that's also how I became an Atheist. I spent the next 20 years thinking I was the only person in the world who thought there was no god.

Some very wise and good people would tell you to be honest and truthful, generally I would agree with them. However if I had said I don't believe in a god or supernatural, I likely wouldn't be alive today. That said even hiding I barely survived my childhood.

It's a tough question with no real right answer. I've never openly stated I'm an Athiest in front of my parents, and generally try to avoid them as much as possible. If I tried the honest approach things would likely end in violence. If you're family isn't like mine then I say go for it, be honest, clear, firm. Don't attack religion, focus on the positive, those common values that you can agree on. If you're worried you could avoid using the "A" word until they've had a chance to digest. Most Christians in my experience don't know the difference between a "non believer" and an Atheist (little hint they are kinda the same thing lol). But I would suggest you be very firm, they will use any opening they can to brain wash you, bully you or manipulate you. They might not see it as abusive, after all in their minds they are saving you.

Hope this helps.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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12-03-2017, 03:33 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
Thanks for all the replies.

I will continue to maintain the "baptism is a huge step" stance.
Although, that won't last long I guess.

I will not be the first one to speak in any case.

Sometimes I wonder if choosing the matrix is a much more pragmatic solution to the mysteries of life...
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12-03-2017, 04:00 AM
RE: Coming out(no homo :P)
Underdog, pragmatic it may be. But choosing to remain silent for 30 years drove me to the edge of suicide many times. I do not recommend it.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
Big Grin
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