Coming to terms.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
24-03-2013, 05:55 PM
Coming to terms.
I had a dream last night. I was at school and suddenly, a group of people with guns infiltrated it, and forced all of the students into the gym/auditorium. Suddenly, there was the leader of the group (or who I think is the leader) and he began to start talking. I was sitting in the stands like the other students, talking to my friends in hushed tones, I felt fear. It was weird, this dream was intense, it was so lifelike. Anyway, the leader talked about many random things, and finally he told us that if ONE of us offered to die, he would let the rest live.

It was a hushed silence. You could have heard the pin drop as he made it clear that he was offering them a way out, at the expense of another's life. At first, nobody moved, not even me. Then, after a couple minutes, I rose. I rose up and offered myself. I was placed in the center of the gym, with the leader sanding next to me. He congratulated me for doing what I was doing. He asked me to get on my knees and then he asked me questions. I think it is important for me to post these questions, and the answers to them, (with the names of my friends changed, of course.)

Him:"Do you have anybody you wish you could date?"
Me: "Yeah. Amanda."

Him: Do you value your life?
Me: No.

Him: If you had one thing to say to all of them, what would it be?
Me: You're Welcome.

Then suddenly, I felt tears on my face and I woke up before he could put a bullet in my head. I woke up with a repeating phrase in my head as tears streamed down my face.

Please don't kill me!


That's right, I had that kind of dream. And it's been haunting me all day, replaying at random times, and tears leak out. It makes me sad that it would seem that nobody would have sacrificed their lives to save me, or anything, I had to be the guy to do it. And it was a dream, and I am not sure I would have done it in reality. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! It is depressing to even think about what happened, and the answers to the questions he asked me. I have no idea why, or what they mean, or even if they mean anything.

It infuriates me, and saddens me at the same time that I couldn't sack up and accept my death, and that I woke up practically begging for my life, even though I knew it was pointless. I should have been proud to lay down my life for my fellow humans, but I wasn't. Instead, I cried and cringed and cried some more.

What the hell is wrong with me?

[Image: 0013382F-E507-48AE-906B-53008666631C-757...cc3639.jpg]
Credit goes to UndercoverAtheist.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
24-03-2013, 06:12 PM
RE: Coming to terms.
(24-03-2013 05:55 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  What the hell is wrong with me?
Nothing. Not a thing.
I could go on about the subconscious and shit but you already know that.
I doubt there isn't a single person on this board that hasn't woken up in tears over a powerful dream, I have.
Sometimes even daydreams with life and death scenarios tear and tear me up. Thinking what if my wife dies, what if I had to push her out of the way of an oncoming car knowing I would die...
Dreams like the one you describe give you an insight into your deepest fears and because of it you get a more complete picture of who you are. Welcome it.

Throughout history conversions happen at the point of a sword, deconversions at the point of a pen - FC

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. - Mark Twain in Eruption
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-03-2013, 05:53 PM
RE: Coming to terms.
(24-03-2013 06:12 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(24-03-2013 05:55 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  What the hell is wrong with me?
Dreams like the one you describe give you an insight into your deepest fears and because of it you get a more complete picture of who you are. Welcome it.
There may be some truth in that but it certainly isn't the whole picture. I've always figured that dreaming is what your subconscious brain does when your conscious brain isn't around to keep it from lying to you. Dreams are essentially leakage, stories and imagery that your subconscious invents using memory and sensory input, leakage that insinuates itself into the lowest levels of one's awareness, unencumbered by rationality.

To Atotheist, you're fine. This is the only life you can know for a fact that you'll have. Of course it's precious.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-03-2013, 04:35 AM (This post was last modified: 06-04-2013 12:55 AM by Doctor X.)
RE: Coming to terms.
******

Those who administer and moderate in order to exercise personal agenda merely feed into the negative stereotype of Atheism
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Doctor X's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: