Company meeting with God
Post Reply
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
07-05-2011, 04:23 AM
Company meeting with God
God: good morning all, welcome to the annual meeting. I know I've been a little absent recently, but I think I've processed my son's death. So, how's my world doing?

Angel 1: well sir, it's not going very good, especially with Allah and his holy wars.

God: damn him and his agressive marketing techniques! I knew I should've promised virgins too. It seems nobody appreciates playing harp on a cloud these days...
What else?

Angel 2: most African people still love you, but they wonder why you make their children starve.

God: African people?

Angel 2: yes sir, on the African continent.

God: But... but... I tought they emigrated ages ago! How long have they been starving?

Angel 2: uhm, it's been going on for a while now, sir.

God: shit, that's gonna put a dent in my rep. Uhm, okay, I've got an idea; we'll use positive marketing; make my sons' image appear on a slice of cheese.

Angel 2: are you sure that's the right approach, sir?


Angel 2: ok ok, cheese it is then.

Angel 1: Now that we're talking about the well-being of children. What are your plans for the pedophile priests in your church? Should we continue endorsing celibacy?

God: Celibacy? CELIBACY? Who the hell came up with that idea?

Angel 1: euhm, the purity department. But that idea was launched more than 1500 years ago, surely you must've known, sir? Pope Leo the first, your representative, formally introduced it.

God: Leo? didn't I fire that guy? Who the hell put him in charge down there?

Angel 1: Well, he was a union representative, so we couldn't. Plus, the guys like him.

God: damn those unionists... I'm getting a headache. Don't you have any positive news?

Angel 2: well, on the bright side; 40% of americans still believe in you, including unicorns, talkings snake and the great flood.

God: UNICORNS??? WTF????

Angel 2: yeah, someone accidentally used google translate for the bible and we kinda forgot to double check it for errors.

God: uuuurgh.... I'm gonna lie down... this is too much...

...*God leaves*

Angel 1 to Angel 2: *whispers* should we tell him about the atheists finding out his april fools prank with the fossils?

Angel 2: mmmh, better wait till tomorrow...

"Infinitus est numerus stultorum." (The number of fools is infinite)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Thammuz's post
07-05-2011, 05:15 AM
RE: Company meeting with God
lol, I like that Big Grin

..."we can be truly free - not because we can rebel against the the tyranny of the selfish replicators but because we know that there is no one to rebel."
Susan Blackmore : The Meme Machine
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2011, 03:18 PM
RE: Company meeting with God
Sounds a lot like a TTA video. Maybe that should be the script for the next one. Well done.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Richard Dawkins comes to me, speaking words of reason, now I see, now I see.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: