Compatibility issues
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13-07-2016, 06:40 PM (This post was last modified: 13-07-2016 07:14 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Compatibility issues
(13-07-2016 03:43 PM)Reducetarian Wrote:  What say you?

Accept that it is none of your business old man. ... At least that's what Girly did. If I had done anything different I would have screwed the pooch. Don't screw the pooch.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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13-07-2016, 06:53 PM
RE: Compatibility issues
Nothing wrong with 'positive parenting' (akin to 'best friend's advice'). That is were you DIPLOMATICALLY express your opinion and advice, with a real story behind it. Been there, done that, your life, just lettin' ya know. Express your love and walk away. It is their life after all. One cannot teach wisdom, but we can use it. We all learned it in the trenches (and still learning). You may not have as much as Dad, but ya got more than the kid.

IMHO You should put it on the table.

"They think, therefore I am" - god
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13-07-2016, 07:39 PM
RE: Compatibility issues
Personally, I think things should simply be allowed to follow their own course.

I'd not say a damned thing.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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13-07-2016, 07:46 PM
RE: Compatibility issues
What is the point of wisdom if one does not share it. I know, "when we were kids, we knew everything". I personally do not regret any wisdom or advise I ever got. I did not always follow it ...

"They think, therefore I am" - god
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13-07-2016, 08:04 PM
RE: Compatibility issues
(13-07-2016 07:46 PM)TechnoMonkey Wrote:  What is the point of wisdom if one does not share it. I know, "when we were kids, we knew everything". I personally do not regret any wisdom or advise I ever got. I did not always follow it ...

I have no wisdom to give.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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13-07-2016, 10:12 PM
RE: Compatibility issues
(13-07-2016 03:43 PM)Reducetarian Wrote:  First some background:
My son and his girlfriend, who are both university students, lived together for a year before they both left for Europe on an academic exchange for 6 months. This year of living together was pretty independent: he did his thing, she did hers, no real stress in their lives.
The first month in Europe they described as "hell" because they were on the same course and they couldn't stand being together 24-7. Each came close to quitting and running back home a few times. Somehow they worked it out and stayed on, and eventually enjoyed their time in Europe, travelling etc.

Here's the question: I feel that there are serious compatibility issues that living together 24-7 under stressful conditions brought to the fore, and that this does not bode well for their relationship. My son argues that anyone would have had a hard time living together 24-7 in those conditions and the fact that they somehow persevered is proof that they should be together.

I should add that they are young (22) and neither has dated very many people, but they seem quite serious (which scares me).

What say you?

What's the worst that could happen?

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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14-07-2016, 09:18 AM
RE: Compatibility issues
(13-07-2016 10:12 PM)Old Man Marsh Wrote:  
(13-07-2016 03:43 PM)Reducetarian Wrote:  First some background:
My son and his girlfriend, who are both university students, lived together for a year before they both left for Europe on an academic exchange for 6 months. This year of living together was pretty independent: he did his thing, she did hers, no real stress in their lives.
The first month in Europe they described as "hell" because they were on the same course and they couldn't stand being together 24-7. Each came close to quitting and running back home a few times. Somehow they worked it out and stayed on, and eventually enjoyed their time in Europe, travelling etc.

Here's the question: I feel that there are serious compatibility issues that living together 24-7 under stressful conditions brought to the fore, and that this does not bode well for their relationship. My son argues that anyone would have had a hard time living together 24-7 in those conditions and the fact that they somehow persevered is proof that they should be together.

I should add that they are young (22) and neither has dated very many people, but they seem quite serious (which scares me).

What say you?

What's the worst that could happen?

Years of unhappy marriage "for the sake of the kids" or a bitter divorce, both of which might have been avoided if they had stopped to think things through and not viewed their relationship through rose-coloured glasses.

They say that picking a spouse is the most important decision you make in your life.

Your faith is not evidence, your opinion is not fact, and your bias is not wisdom
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14-07-2016, 02:09 PM
RE: Compatibility issues
It is only through going through our early relationships, that we learn what we ultimately want or don't want in a life partner, but it is only after we are done with those early relationships, that we ultimately realize what we want and don't want. Their relationship is just part of the normal learning process. I wouldn't worry too much. 22 is pretty young and odds are against them since most college relationships don't survive long term (from what I have observed).
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