Conception of children when death is near
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30-03-2014, 09:43 AM
Conception of children when death is near
I saw an article on nypost.com, which highlighted a woman with terminal cancer that accidentally conceived after doctors told her that the initial rounds of chemo left her incapable of having any.

At the time she discovered she was pregnant, the cancer had also returned. She chose to have the child knowig that she would die.

The story talks about her sacrifice, and what a joy it was. I felt guilty thinking to myself, what about her poor husband?

I dunno - I see it as incredibly selfish. Not only will he be a single father, but he will also have a much harder time meeting a woman. Who the hell wants to compete with miss sacrifice?

Maybe I'm just a jerk for seeing this as selfish.

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30-03-2014, 09:47 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
(30-03-2014 09:43 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  I saw an article on nypost.com, which highlighted a woman with terminal cancer that accidentally conceived after doctors told her that the initial rounds of chemo left her incapable of having any.

At the time she discovered she was pregnant, the cancer had also returned. She chose to have the child knowig that she would die.

The story talks about her sacrifice, and what a joy it was. I felt guilty thinking to myself, what about her poor husband?

I dunno - I see it as incredibly selfish. Not only will he be a single father, but he will also have a much harder time meeting a woman. Who the hell wants to compete with miss sacrifice?

Maybe I'm just a jerk for seeing this as selfish.

I dont know.

If I were the husband and I found out my wife who was dying was having a baby I'd feel so happy that a part of her, the person I love, would continue to be with me after she was gone.

I suppose it would depend on if the husband wanted it or not.
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30-03-2014, 09:49 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
How would it not be selfish to opt against having/keeping the child because of how it may affect his future marriageability?

He is the father of that baby...the end.

Good lord god.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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30-03-2014, 09:51 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
(30-03-2014 09:49 AM)Anjele Wrote:  How would it not be selfish to opt against having/keeping the child because of how it may affect his future marriageability?

He is the father of that baby...the end.

Good lord god.

Maybe I'm wrong about this (which wouldnt suprise me)

But is it that hard to find someone to be with when you are single with children these days? It just seems so common now. I just don't think its the taboo it used to be.
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30-03-2014, 10:10 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
(30-03-2014 09:43 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  I saw an article on nypost.com, which highlighted a woman with terminal cancer that accidentally conceived after doctors told her that the initial rounds of chemo left her incapable of having any.

At the time she discovered she was pregnant, the cancer had also returned. She chose to have the child knowig that she would die.

The story talks about her sacrifice, and what a joy it was. I felt guilty thinking to myself, what about her poor husband?

I dunno - I see it as incredibly selfish. Not only will he be a single father, but he will also have a much harder time meeting a woman. Who the hell wants to compete with miss sacrifice?

Maybe I'm just a jerk for seeing this as selfish.

I get your point Cathy, but without knowin the people personally I can only assume the father/husband wanted her to have the baby. I can only assume they discussed it as a married couple and came to the conclusion they thought would be best for everyone.
I just have a really hard time imagining some cancer ridden wife telling her husband that she doesn't care if he doesn't want a baby because he's getting one.

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30-03-2014, 10:22 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
hard situation for sure.

I would want to be certain the cancer wouldn't be passed to the baby, or give the baby astronomical odds of getting cancer later in life.

I imagine that it was as Hobbit suggested....a way to keep a piece of Mom continuing.

I knew a woman who was in a similar situation, but when the cancer returned and she found out she was pregnant, she was told the only way to survive was to abort the baby. She was a very christian person and pro-lifer. It still tears her up that she picked her own survival over the baby.


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30-03-2014, 10:34 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
(30-03-2014 09:49 AM)Anjele Wrote:  How would it not be selfish to opt against having/keeping the child because of how it may affect his future marriageability?

He is the father of that baby...the end.

Good lord god.

I guess I'm just selfish. I don't want to have a baby alone. And I don't want to start a family with someone where that family's expiration date is near.

I know a woman that had her cancer-riddled husband's baby through IVF because he wanted a child. He died before she gave birth. She struggled financially to support a baby on her own while grieving, she had a lot of trouble meeting anyone.

I guess I just saw the unromantic side of it for too long to think that this was a lovely thing to do.

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30-03-2014, 10:38 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
Speaking from experience, being a single parent isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person.

My first husband died when my daughters were three and seven. Should I have gotten rid of them?

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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30-03-2014, 11:07 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
Tony Randall - atheist, father at 79 yo and all around stud.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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30-03-2014, 11:38 AM
RE: Conception of children when death is near
I don't have a strong opinion on it except that what seems most important is whether they discussed it.

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