Conflict With Catholic Parents
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16-01-2014, 11:23 PM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
If his parents are resorting to blackmail and threats they don't deserve honesty. Besides, he's already told them how he feels, so anything less than a return to indoctrination won't get him his college tuition and car back. Maybe you can foot the bill for his schooling and then his honesty will be intact, and in your living room, since he'll have nowhere to stay.

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17-01-2014, 12:30 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
I appreciate all the support. Thank you all so much.
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17-01-2014, 12:31 AM
Conflict With Catholic Parents
(16-01-2014 11:23 PM)WillHopp Wrote:  If his parents are resorting to blackmail and threats they don't deserve honesty. Besides, he's already told them how he feels, so anything less than a return to indoctrination won't get him his college tuition and car back. Maybe you can foot the bill for his schooling and then his honesty will be intact, and in your living room, since he'll have nowhere to stay.

Honestly isn't something other people deserve, or not.

It's about personal integrity.

I've been an atheist since I was eight years old. It didn't stop me from wanting to learn about other people's beliefs.
Just because someone attends church or continues to learn and listen doesn't mean they've been indoctrinated again.
I've been to synogogues, temples, churches and have friends of all faiths. I find it all very fascinating....from the hardcore zealots, fundamentalists to the hypocrisy...it's all fascinating.
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17-01-2014, 03:25 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
My parents stopped giving any money to my brother when he was a teenager because he started smoking and they didn't want to give any of their hard earned wages to the tobacco companies. They also wanted to do whatever it took to save his health. That's understandable from a parent's point of view while you are still dependent upon them. They feel responsible for you. Unfortunately dependency on your parents can last a long time even after university/college. After all, you'll be wanting to look for work, start a career and internships seem to have become quite common now which really sucks.

It seems like what flipped them over the edge is this talk of an 'atheist religion'. I really don't know what that is but from what you say they seemed to finally accept that you disbelieved in God. They're Christians so they'll be paying a tithe and don't want any of their money to go off to an 'atheist religion'. Whether it would or not is another matter, that's probably how they think. Being a passive atheist is one thing, but actively indoctrinating yourself into atheism will be another. After all that's what happens with organised religions and so that's what your parents will believe will happen. They'll just see your chance of becoming a Christian diminishing and that means so will their hope.

Think of it this way:

A boy comes back from the doctors and tells his parents that he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The parents are grief stricken and they all cry. Then the boy tells them, no, I was lying I'm actually only gay, but hey, at least that's not as bad as losing me. What you have done by talking about an atheist religion will be to make them grateful that you are only a passive disbeliever rather than a 'militant atheist'.

I'd suggest trying to come to a compromise. Say that you won't actively pursue your atheism but also tell them that believing in a God now is like asking to believe in Santa Claus, it just isn't going to happen now that the cat is out of the bag. It sounds like your parents want what they think is the best for you, and that also includes an education and career so they won't throw that away unless they can help it. A good business deal is when everyone walks away happy. You on the other hand need to figure out what you are prepared to lose. Your pride and freedom at being out as an atheist for a few years or your education.

Oh, just thought, by atheist religion, are you referring to Humanism?
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17-01-2014, 09:53 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
Good luck, hope it turns out well. I think telling them it was a religion was a huge mistake since it's not a religion. And clearly if they believe it has anything to do with satan then you've done a poor job explaining what atheism is to them. Try starting over with them and telling them it's not a religion at all. And I disagree that you're not an adult, you're 18, that's an adult in my book.

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17-01-2014, 10:00 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
Tell them that if they truly care about you as a person, and their son, they'd support you no matter what. Nor only that, but forcing Catholicism on someone is actually against their supposed principles.
If you only believe in a god to keep your material possessions, you are actually considered WORSE than if you just didn't believe. So, not only what they are doing is immoral, but also against the teachings of Jesus.

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17-01-2014, 10:16 AM
Conflict With Catholic Parents
(17-01-2014 09:53 AM)WillHopp Wrote:  Good luck, hope it turns out well. I think telling them it was a religion was a huge mistake since it's not a religion. And clearly if they believe it has anything to do with satan then you've done a poor job explaining what atheism is to them. Try starting over with them and telling them it's not a religion at all. And I disagree that you're not an adult, you're 18, that's an adult in my book.

Adults are responsible for themselves, self sufficient, and independent. Children still rely on their parents.
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17-01-2014, 10:23 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
(17-01-2014 09:53 AM)WillHopp Wrote:  Good luck, hope it turns out well. I think telling them it was a religion was a huge mistake since it's not a religion. And clearly if they believe it has anything to do with satan then you've done a poor job explaining what atheism is to them. Try starting over with them and telling them it's not a religion at all. And I disagree that you're not an adult, you're 18, that's an adult in my book.

To hard core religious people like my dad:

"If it's not for God, it's against him."

How can you possibly argue that? That basically is why a lot of religious people say atheists are worshipping Satan. (at least from my dad's point in view)

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17-01-2014, 10:49 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
(17-01-2014 10:16 AM)hotnostril Wrote:  
(17-01-2014 09:53 AM)WillHopp Wrote:  Good luck, hope it turns out well. I think telling them it was a religion was a huge mistake since it's not a religion. And clearly if they believe it has anything to do with satan then you've done a poor job explaining what atheism is to them. Try starting over with them and telling them it's not a religion at all. And I disagree that you're not an adult, you're 18, that's an adult in my book.

Adults are responsible for themselves, self sufficient, and independent. Children still rely on their parents.

So, someone who moves out, is 25 and gets a stipend from his parents for groceries or rent is still a child? Interesting. 18 is an adult, regardless of financial situation.

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17-01-2014, 11:08 AM
RE: Conflict With Catholic Parents
Clearly you have a choice to make. Your parents also have a choice on how they spend their money. No where is it written that just because parents can afford to help their children with college and cars that they are required to. Yes, it is nice when they do but they aren't obligated to.

If you want their help then you have to play by their rules, whether it's curfew, employment, or sitting in a pew next to them every week. I wouldn't be dishonest about it.

I think it was a mistake and adding fuel to the fire to bring up your new religion after getting the first issue straightened out.

If you can't or don't like their rules, you are 18 and free to go live your life on your own.

Like I tell others, get a job, save every penny, while you are dependent you have to play by their rules. When you get to university find the resources to help you once your parents cut you off. This might mean you have to drop out.

Welcome to adulthood.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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