Conflicted
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17-03-2014, 07:12 AM
RE: Conflicted
Write down everything your scared of, make a list. Spend 5 minutes on each item rationalising it, is it as bad as you think? are there alternatives? Picture the scenes going your way.

As you get older bro you will pick up a thicker skin and start to give less of a fuck what others think of you.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

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17-03-2014, 07:36 AM
RE: Conflicted
(17-03-2014 02:53 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  
Quote:I'm guessing you're talking about members of your family and their reactions.

A few years ago, my sister made a point to call each of her siblings to break the news that her 19 year old son was gay.
Our reactions were all like "yeah, so? I've known that since he was about 5."

I don't know your family, but some of them might surprise you. Drinking Beverage

It's not just their initial reaction. It's their reaction there after. I don't wanna be "that gay guy". I don't want that to be the center of every conversation I ever have from then on because I hate it, I'm over gay rights and gay issues and shit but I just know that that will be the center of every conversation.

If the only issue was their initial reaction and than life went on as normal than I would have done this years ago. But it's not, the issue is their initial reaction and their interaction with me there after.

Our attitude and behavior to our nephew didn't change much - we already knew.

The only changes were positive - everyone could acknowledge relationships, for instance. His sexuality was never, and isn't now, a big deal. He's one of my five nephews, that's all. He happens to be gay. The one we do talk about is the one with Asperger's - his life gets weird sometimes. Yes

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17-03-2014, 08:28 AM
RE: Conflicted
*Chuckle*

Coming out as gay....and cancer.

That escalated fast.

Silly muffs.
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17-03-2014, 08:34 AM
RE: Conflicted
I am unsure what others have stated, but I am certain they were helpful. Therefore, rather than reiterate what they have already stated, I will simply give my own personal opinion in relation to be being gay. You must, must, keep in mind the relationship with your partner in relation to coming out, because I personally would never date a man who refused to come out of the closet. That is just me, though. I am certain there are plenty of gay men who would not mind being with you, but it is something I personally could not do because it would mean that I am sending myself back into the closet. It is an unhealthy way of living, as far as I am concerned, and I could never place myself back there.
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17-03-2014, 08:36 AM
RE: Conflicted
(17-03-2014 02:53 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(16-03-2014 07:49 AM)meremortal Wrote:  Are you in a relationship with someone right now?

No, I don't date nor have any desire to start.

And now that I have seen this, you can probably ignore what I have typed. Angel
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17-03-2014, 11:28 PM
RE: Conflicted
(17-03-2014 07:12 AM)bemore Wrote:  Write down everything your scared of, make a list. Spend 5 minutes on each item rationalising it, is it as bad as you think? are there alternatives? Picture the scenes going your way.

As you get older bro you will pick up a thicker skin and start to give less of a fuck what others think of you.

It's not what they think of me.

Quote:Our attitude and behavior to our nephew didn't change much - we already knew.

The only changes were positive - everyone could acknowledge relationships, for instance. His sexuality was never, and isn't now, a big deal. He's one of my five nephews, that's all. He happens to be gay. The one we do talk about is the one with Asperger's - his life gets weird sometimes. Yes

With all due respect 1) Your nephew isn't me 2) That's only your opinion of him, you can't speak for everyone in his life, his friends, his work colleges/school mates, other assorted people in his life.
Everything may be all well and good from your point of view but it could be a very different picture from his eyes. It's only a thing for you in a "he's my nephew" sense, it's a thing for him in a "this is my whole life" sense.

Quote:*Chuckle*

Coming out as gay....and cancer.

That escalated fast.

Silly muffs.

If I had cancer you'd hear about it.
I'd get $150,000 from my life insurance policy if I did.


When I'm at the airport next year heading to Europe I might just yell it out across the customs fence as I'm about to board my plane.
"Oh mom and dad by the way I'm gay. Gotta catch my flight, bye"

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17-03-2014, 11:45 PM
RE: Conflicted
I'm sorry you're having such a painful problem.

Be true to yourself muffs, and you will survive this decision as a whole muffs. Only you can know what is your truth.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles
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17-03-2014, 11:52 PM
RE: Conflicted
Take it from me, try to make it in the nicest way you can manage. It can be hard on them too, and you might regret it down the road if you make it harder than it needs to be for them.

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18-03-2014, 01:15 AM
RE: Conflicted
This is fkn bullshit Muffs, now when I call you a homo it has zero offensive connotation. I can still call you a sheep shagger I guess.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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18-03-2014, 08:07 AM
RE: Conflicted
(17-03-2014 11:28 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
Quote:Our attitude and behavior to our nephew didn't change much - we already knew.

The only changes were positive - everyone could acknowledge relationships, for instance. His sexuality was never, and isn't now, a big deal. He's one of my five nephews, that's all. He happens to be gay. The one we do talk about is the one with Asperger's - his life gets weird sometimes. Yes

With all due respect 1) Your nephew isn't me 2) That's only your opinion of him, you can't speak for everyone in his life, his friends, his work colleges/school mates, other assorted people in his life.
Everything may be all well and good from your point of view but it could be a very different picture from his eyes. It's only a thing for you in a "he's my nephew" sense, it's a thing for him in a "this is my whole life" sense.

If you don't actually want support, why did you post it in this forum? Consider

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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