Confrontations, majors, and passions
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01-10-2017, 01:10 AM
Confrontations, majors, and passions
Hello fellow members of the forum. First time poster, long time agnostic here. I was hoping to get some advice on a question or two that I have. (There may be mistakes within this post because I've never dealt with a forum posting system like this one.)

I live in a college town in Kentucky, for starters. I was browsing Facebook a while ago, and noticed some vandalism towards a member of a secular student on campus. His truck was spray-painted with some generic "I love God and I hate you" bullshit. I've always felt quite strongly about equality, but I've also been cripplingly shy for as long as I can remember. For many years, I've thought about "going into" politics and/or law, but I am certain that my current social ineptitude will inevitably cause me to fail. A few days ago, I encountered some racism in my personal life, and I was pissed. I "told the person off," and for the first time in my entire life, I was confident. I felt like I truly had the ability to make the world a better place. I knew I could. I was able to walk around campus with my hair not obscuring my face, and my head held high. I was capable of speaking to strangers I came into contact with, and even gave some money to a charity, which also required speaking. (#humblebrag Just kidding.)

At the same time, how long could this boost of confidence last? I'm fairly certain that it is already gone, which doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I've been getting some counseling and have been taking anti-depressants that also help with social anxiety, so I am constantly working on my depression and social issues. (I'm happy to say that for the past few months, I've been feeling emotions again, though it is quite annoying.) The vandalism that occurred is concerning to me. I have seen the anger of various people, and it frightens me. I don't exactly want to get my ass beat, but I'm simply tired of letting people get away with their bullshit. Is there any particular way that I should confront these people if I see idiotic behavior? Mayhap I shouldn't confront them at all? I'm aware that "confront" can have a forceful, negative context, but I'm not intending it in that way.

I've also changed my major several times, and will probably have to stay at the university for longer than other people, so any consequences of my actions are likely to stick with me, at least where current newcomers and the university in general are concerned. I'm wondering if I should change to pre-law. I think I more or less have a passion for justice, truth, and skepticism. I believe all of these would come in handy if I happened to pursue a career related to law and/or politics. As mentioned earlier, my shyness and fear will hurt my chances of doing what I might actually enjoy and benefit from. I'm sorry if this was completely jumbled, but I'm too tired to fix it. If elaboration is needed feel free to ask and I'll get back to you whenever I can.
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01-10-2017, 06:57 AM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
Are you an introvert?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversi...troversion

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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01-10-2017, 07:03 AM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
(01-10-2017 01:10 AM)BarneyBetsington Wrote:  As mentioned earlier, my shyness and fear will hurt my chances of doing what I might actually enjoy and benefit from. I'm sorry if this was completely jumbled, but I'm too tired to fix it. If elaboration is needed feel free to ask and I'll get back to you whenever I can.

Although it's fun to imagine oneself in a profession in which one can become a better person in whatever way, it's also important to remember that many professions are highly competitive. That means you will be at a disadvantage if you are not already the person the profession requires. As you said yourself, you'd be less likely to be successful.

Bottom line: choose a profession you would feel comfortable with as the person you already are. Same goes for any social activities you consider. Our personalities are not as flexible as you might think.
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01-10-2017, 08:10 AM (This post was last modified: 01-10-2017 08:13 AM by goldenarm.)
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
(01-10-2017 01:10 AM)BarneyBetsington Wrote:  Hello fellow members of the forum. First time poster, long time agnostic here. I was hoping to get some advice on a question or two that I have. (There may be mistakes within this post because I've never dealt with a forum posting system like this one.)
Welcome Big Grin

Quote:I live in a college town in Kentucky, for starters. I was browsing Facebook a while ago, and noticed some vandalism towards a member of a secular student on campus. His truck was spray-painted with some generic "I love God and I hate you" bullshit. I've always felt quite strongly about equality, but I've also been cripplingly shy for as long as I can remember. For many years, I've thought about "going into" politics and/or law, but I am certain that my current social ineptitude will inevitably cause me to fail. A few days ago, I encountered some racism in my personal life, and I was pissed. I "told the person off," and for the first time in my entire life, I was confident. I felt like I truly had the ability to make the world a better place. I knew I could. I was able to walk around campus with my hair not obscuring my face, and my head held high. I was capable of speaking to strangers I came into contact with, and even gave some money to a charity, which also required speaking. (#humblebrag Just kidding.)
I'm from Kentucky too! It is crazy here with religious funnies, but I have to say I haven't seen any vandalism over religion here either, so that's new for me. I've also thought about going into politics and several other things. A big question I guess that I need to ask you is how dependent are you on your parents? In my case I have to watch what I say because even though I'm 19 and living at home with my parents while taking online community college classes. I haven't found a job yet so I am still under the will of my parents. I get that you want to make a difference because so do I. Just make sure it won't cost you to lose everything.

Quote:At the same time, how long could this boost of confidence last? I'm fairly certain that it is already gone, which doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I've been getting some counseling and have been taking anti-depressants that also help with social anxiety, so I am constantly working on my depression and social issues. (I'm happy to say that for the past few months, I've been feeling emotions again, though it is quite annoying.) The vandalism that occurred is concerning to me. I have seen the anger of various people, and it frightens me. I don't exactly want to get my ass beat, but I'm simply tired of letting people get away with their bullshit. Is there any particular way that I should confront these people if I see idiotic behavior? Mayhap I shouldn't confront them at all? I'm aware that "confront" can have a forceful, negative context, but I'm not intending it in that way.
Whatever you do, do it with caution. Don't run around telling everyone that their religion is wrong, BUT if you see or hear something serious that you feel needs to be addressed then do it. If you ever get that confidence boost again do what you feel is best. If the person is doing something negative in an angry, hostile way then you may want to avoid. It just depends on the situation. Do what you feel as long as it's safe and wise for you based on your circumstances.

Quote:I've also changed my major several times, and will probably have to stay at the university for longer than other people, so any consequences of my actions are likely to stick with me, at least where current newcomers and the university in general are concerned. I'm wondering if I should change to pre-law. I think I more or less have a passion for justice, truth, and skepticism. I believe all of these would come in handy if I happened to pursue a career related to law and/or politics. As mentioned earlier, my shyness and fear will hurt my chances of doing what I might actually enjoy and benefit from. I'm sorry if this was completely jumbled, but I'm too tired to fix it. If elaboration is needed feel free to ask and I'll get back to you whenever I can.

Have you talked to your counselor about what you want to major in? Maybe tell them what you desire to do and the obstacles that you are facing? If not then you should because if that's something you want to do then good things could come out of it. Good luck in everything you decide to do![/quote]
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01-10-2017, 08:22 AM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
(01-10-2017 08:10 AM)goldenarm Wrote:  Have you talked to your counselor about what you want to major in? Maybe tell them what you desire to do and the obstacles that you are facing? If not then you should because if that's something you want to do then good things could come out of it.

When I was in college and floundering, I took an aptitude test. They basically told me I would make a good housewife.

So such guidance doesn't always help.
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01-10-2017, 08:48 AM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
You do sound like an introvert, but I am shooting blanks if you are not.

Law is a great area of study for introverts.

Quote: studies indicate 33–50% of the American population are introverts. Particular subpopulations have higher prevalence, with a 6000-subject MBTI-based survey indicating that 60% of attorneys, and 90% of intellectual property attorneys, are introverts.

Also, introverts are heavily represented in the performing arts.

Being an introvert means that you like being alone. You do better with one or two people than a crowd. It is often misinterpreted as being shy, but that is not at all the case, even though the introvert themselves may think so.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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01-10-2017, 08:49 AM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
(01-10-2017 08:22 AM)Thoreauvian Wrote:  
(01-10-2017 08:10 AM)goldenarm Wrote:  Have you talked to your counselor about what you want to major in? Maybe tell them what you desire to do and the obstacles that you are facing? If not then you should because if that's something you want to do then good things could come out of it.

When I was in college and floundering, I took an aptitude test. They basically told me I would make a good housewife.

So such guidance doesn't always help.

Oh wow Sad. Just a suggestion I guess.
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01-10-2017, 04:02 PM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
Not sure what the rules are on posting multiple times, so I'll just leave it in one response directed at no one.

Dom, I do enjoy being alone, so I would say that I am an introvert, but I don't always mind being around friends. Introversion really isn't the issue here, shyness is. As mentioned before, I am working on myself, so there may be a chance that I can consistently deal with people in my personal life, despite wanting to be alone. Sometimes I don't even want to be alone, so I think I'm already changing in that regard.

I'm not sure I wish to go for a degree that will suit me the way I am now. I do not like how I am now, and wish to change. Besides, the utter lack of passion would probably be an issue for my mood. It's just nothing quite makes me smile as much as promoting equality, and it does have positive effects on me. Nevertheless, I'll take this advise into account, Thoreauvian, because it is relevant, whether I like it or not.

goldenarm, I still live with my father and step-mom, and don't have a job at the moment. I'm an adult, and I have friends that I can rely on. Besides, my university has resources for students like me if things get extremely serious. I do, however, have plenty of money to live on in my bank account. Certainly enough to allow me to rent a place while I get a job. I've not told my counselor yet, but based on his reaction to how I felt during the racism incident, I have no doubt that he would recommend pursuing a career in law because of the positive effects it has on me.

A short while ago, I suffered an extremely minor assault by my stepmother. Now, my father and stepmom like to "play it off" as if it wasn't actually assault, but it was. (At least based on the legal definition.) She couldn't stand the fact that I refuse to not call her out on her bullshit, so she twists my hand. As I said, not a major assault and nothing I would call the police over, but an assault nonetheless.

I've already told her to not touch me again, and self-defense will be a factor if she does it again, so I'm sure I'm going to be fine in that regard. Besides, she's small and frail, the wind could snap her in half. Thanks for the advice, everyone, I do appreciate it. (For the record, I'm 23, so probably way too old to be living with them. But, a free home and free food isn't something an intelligent person would normally pass up.)
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04-10-2017, 07:18 AM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
(01-10-2017 04:02 PM)BarneyBetsington Wrote:  Not sure what the rules are on posting multiple times, so I'll just leave it in one response directed at no one.

Dom, I do enjoy being alone, so I would say that I am an introvert, but I don't always mind being around friends. Introversion really isn't the issue here, shyness is. As mentioned before, I am working on myself, so there may be a chance that I can consistently deal with people in my personal life, despite wanting to be alone. Sometimes I don't even want to be alone, so I think I'm already changing in that regard.

I'm not sure I wish to go for a degree that will suit me the way I am now. I do not like how I am now, and wish to change. Besides, the utter lack of passion would probably be an issue for my mood. It's just nothing quite makes me smile as much as promoting equality, and it does have positive effects on me. Nevertheless, I'll take this advise into account, Thoreauvian, because it is relevant, whether I like it or not.

goldenarm, I still live with my father and step-mom, and don't have a job at the moment. I'm an adult, and I have friends that I can rely on. Besides, my university has resources for students like me if things get extremely serious. I do, however, have plenty of money to live on in my bank account. Certainly enough to allow me to rent a place while I get a job. I've not told my counselor yet, but based on his reaction to how I felt during the racism incident, I have no doubt that he would recommend pursuing a career in law because of the positive effects it has on me.

A short while ago, I suffered an extremely minor assault by my stepmother. Now, my father and stepmom like to "play it off" as if it wasn't actually assault, but it was. (At least based on the legal definition.) She couldn't stand the fact that I refuse to not call her out on her bullshit, so she twists my hand. As I said, not a major assault and nothing I would call the police over, but an assault nonetheless.

I've already told her to not touch me again, and self-defense will be a factor if she does it again, so I'm sure I'm going to be fine in that regard. Besides, she's small and frail, the wind could snap her in half. Thanks for the advice, everyone, I do appreciate it. (For the record, I'm 23, so probably way too old to be living with them. But, a free home and free food isn't something an intelligent person would normally pass up.)

Just think it through. Family relationships are most important, but you have to stand up to what is right to you. You have things to fall back on, so as long as you don't think you will regret it you should be fine. Good luck! Let us know if you need anything else.
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04-10-2017, 07:39 PM
RE: Confrontations, majors, and passions
Welcome to the forum family. I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do.

I am a chicken-shit at heart. Whose atheism is about to become public in a way that has me very nervous. (Whole other story there---may be updating that on another thread soon.) I remain genuinely nervous that it may result in a cross burning on my lawn here in Tinytown before it is all said and done. So I would say to you, you don't have to save the world. It's not your responsibility. But if you want to take on the fucktards, maybe start small. Like, can you one-on-one see yourself approaching the victim of the vandalism personally and expressing how appalled and disgusted you were with it? Seems to me like that person could use some supportive sympathy.

And 23 is NOT too old to be living with parents in my opinion. But personal safety, well, once is one time too many and twice would be a "get the hell outta there" moment.

And if you're floundering on a major, I wonder how many credits you may already have that would be applicable to a degree in communication. It has a lot of crossover credits in both theatre and pre-law, and can lead to a well-paying job in many different fields. Plus it may give you some personal confidence along the way as far as working on yourself goes.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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