Considering suicide. Over it.
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18-12-2016, 06:03 PM
Considering suicide. Over it.
Hey guys.

Well my brain is not working. I had hoped it would return with some sharpness, but this is not the case. I laid the blame on the experimental drug but now believe it was destroyed by the massive amount of chemotherapy I endured.

I am basically stupid. Slow, confused all the time and just not right in the head.

I am wondering if I can take a life of this. If not I am just gonna fucking kill myself.

BTW, I'm deadly serious.

Thoughts?

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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18-12-2016, 06:09 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
I hope you decide to give it more time Banjo. You can't expect to be back to yourself so fast after everything you have been through. I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling but please take it slowly. The world will be diminished when you leave it. You are an incredible inspiration to many and as muddled as you think you are are, you are still more lucid than many otherwise healthy people I know.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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18-12-2016, 06:16 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
Banjo,
You are together enough to question if you are together. You have had some moments when you struggled...day 10 was always bad for you but you were aware enough to know that.

You surely didn't fight this hard and this long to quit now. Get to the hospital and tell them what you are thinking and feeling. Years of chemicals coursing through you surely had some effect. But you haven't been off the meds long enough to know what the outcome is going to be.

Please talk to a medical person or a first responder. Now.

Much love,
Angie

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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18-12-2016, 06:18 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
Okay.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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18-12-2016, 06:21 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
You have to give it time. Remember the power of the chemicals you were on and for the extreme time. You have to let your brain recover. It may take a long time - Good! That means you're still here.

Maybe look into things like recovering from traumatic brain injuries. I think there are puzzles, computer games and mental exercises that are supposed to help.

Be Strong!

Help for the living. Hope for the dead. ~ R.G. Ingersoll

Freedom offers opportunity. Opportunity confers responsibility. Responsibility to use the freedom we enjoy wisely, honestly and humanely. ~ Noam Chomsky
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18-12-2016, 06:22 PM
Considering suicide. Over it.
(18-12-2016 06:03 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I am basically stupid. Slow, confused all the time and just not right in the head.

If the body is drained or healing, it is common for the mind to be like this. Getting a cold makes me feel just as you described. Give it time.
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18-12-2016, 06:33 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
You're not stupid or slow or any of those things. I understand you might feel that way right now, but it's definitely not the case or how any of us view you as a person. I hope you stay with us Banjo. We all love and admire you and need you here. Heart Hug
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18-12-2016, 06:37 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
Thanks guys.

I rang a suicide Hotline.

No answer. Big Grin

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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18-12-2016, 06:42 PM (This post was last modified: 18-12-2016 09:34 PM by ShadowProject.)
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
Sad I hope you can give it more time although I won't pretend to understand what you've been through.

May I suggest contacting your local cancer center/chapter? They usually have counselors on staff, people who have been through the cancer process and can help you.

You seem like a nice soul and I hate to think of you being in emotional distress ((hugs))

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

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18-12-2016, 06:50 PM
RE: Considering suicide. Over it.
You may think you've lost your edge, but you're still a lot sharper than I am. Wink
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