Controlling Anger
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30-05-2017, 10:51 AM
Controlling Anger
I don't know when I became this angry, but there's this fire inside me that lights up really big even with the little things. When my kid doesn't do exactly what I say or does it but not immediately, I get really mad. I feel so guilty and devastated. My partner also seems to be my number one enemy. I always hate it when he argues with me, and every time we do, I want to go out of the house and never come back. is there something wrong with me?
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30-05-2017, 10:55 AM
RE: Controlling Anger
Honestly, I'd recommend seeing a therapist. I recommend that for everyone, but especially if your anger is always bubbling under the surface. There might be something else that's bothering you that you can't identify, or it could be a chemical issue in your brain, or something else entirely.

So I'd suggest seeing a therapist to help you get things sorted. But always being so angry is not really a healthy state of mind. Were you always like that, or is this something that developed over time?
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30-05-2017, 11:12 AM
RE: Controlling Anger
(30-05-2017 10:51 AM)Helleyouse Wrote:  I don't know when I became this angry, but there's this fire inside me that lights up really big even with the little things. When my kid doesn't do exactly what I say or does it but not immediately, I get really mad. I feel so guilty and devastated. My partner also seems to be my number one enemy. I always hate it when he argues with me, and every time we do, I want to go out of the house and never come back. is there something wrong with me?

Having emotions is fine, but how you express yourself in person with family and how you have disagreements matters. It is not good to constantly raise your voice at a child. I know how yelling affected me as a kid and every kid responds differently.

I would suggest if you feel like you could do better is to seek clinical family therapy. It does NOT make you a bad person to get upset. It does mean however if you are that concerned then getting some professional help can teach you good communication skills between family members.

You are not there to be their friend, but to be firm and set the rules with the child. Family therapy may help you and your partner find agreement as to how to deal with your child and that can help both of you.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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30-05-2017, 11:13 AM
RE: Controlling Anger
(30-05-2017 10:51 AM)Helleyouse Wrote:  I don't know when I became this angry, but there's this fire inside me that lights up really big even with the little things. When my kid doesn't do exactly what I say or does it but not immediately, I get really mad. I feel so guilty and devastated. My partner also seems to be my number one enemy. I always hate it when he argues with me, and every time we do, I want to go out of the house and never come back. is there something wrong with me?

It might also be the way you were raised. I had a terrible temper for much of my life, but my father was that way too. He was a real perfectionist who made other people uncomfortable, so I likely learned to be a perfectionist from him. Perhaps needless to say, we came into conflict with each other as well.

You have to adjust your perceptions to the fact that life is a learning experience for everyone, including you. That idea helped me to relax my impossible standards.
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31-05-2017, 03:06 AM
RE: Controlling Anger
Anger issues can also be partly habitual as well, IE you instantly get mad at things just out of habit, because you've done it so many times before.

Meditation is something I recommend for calming techniques, along with trying to be a bit more "self aware". in this instance, when you start to feel yourself react negatively towards something, just instantly stop what you are doing and take a few deep breaths, really thinking about what you are doing at the time, and why. I've found that helps a lot in certain cases.

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