Convocations With Believers
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18-11-2011, 11:05 AM
Convocations With Believers
Last year I was rushed to hospital because my appendix was burst. It when I was home over from university and the doctors said I'd probably be in on Christmas day. To be honest I was so ill I didn't know or care what day it was. Anyway the operation was a success but I was still up to my eye balls on morphine on Christmas eve. So the morning of Christmas I was woken with a young attractive lady sat on my bed. I thought it was just a crazy morphine dream so I just tried to kick her off, but she was real. "Hello" she said, "Merry Christmas" I apologised for kicking her and looked around the room. I'm from a place in England called Bradford, the population of the muslim community is one of the largest in the country and sure enough as I looked round I was the only white person there. I immediately realised her and her elderly companion were Christian. I had no problem with this I have a few Christian friends and these people were giving up there time on Christmas day to comfort the sick, at the price of been preached too, but none the less. Anyway, she started with the usual "have you taken God into your life?" I responded in my usual way with "God? Not God's Nimfs or jins? A male monotheistic patriarchal figure? Polytheistic Godess of the Greeks? Which one are you a supporter or fund raiser of?" She responded as if she hadn't heard me "The God, Jesus" "No I said I'm a rationalist, I have studied your scriptures and noticed that they are historically inaccurate, your theology is logically inconsistant and morally inferior to the innate concept of good and bad in all of us." "Ah," she said "So what faith are you?" "I'm sorry, that is a leading question your question entails the presumption that everyone has a faith, I, you see, do not" "So how do you think that we humans got here?" "Well I have looked into different avenues of explaining that and the only one that is rationally sound is Evolution via natural selection" Her and her companion shuddered. "But, God made you perfect how can that happen my accident?"
I was a gasp at the irony of using this line of reasoning in a hospital but I was saved from responding by my doctor coming to check on me. I had a plan for him. "Doctor? What is the appendix? What is it for?" "Well," he said "It's primary function is thought to have being so digest Cellulose from when we was primates and ate lots of foods with high contents of them which we no longer do it's a hangover from our evolutionary ancestors, yet in humans it does have some positive factors such as storing necessary bacteria but these benefits do not out weight the risk of infection that can be fatal" "Thank you Doctor." The girl on my bed seemed unfazed said a small prayer for me which I asked her to add "if he stop making people with an organ that we can successfully live without that is can act like a ticking time bomb to those without medical attention can lead to there deaths." She didn't seem amused but the doctor walked away chuckling.

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18-11-2011, 01:50 PM
RE: Convocations With Believers
Awsome.. loved that post. You handled it with perfection.. Hella alot better than I would have. I tend to treat theists like they are a disease... and I hardly ever show any respect towards them when talking with them.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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18-11-2011, 02:13 PM
RE: Convocations With Believers
(18-11-2011 01:50 PM)ddrew Wrote:  Awsome.. loved that post. You handled it with perfection.. Hella alot better than I would have. I tend to treat theists like they are a disease... and I hardly ever show any respect towards them when talking with them.

It completely depends on the situation. If I'm in a one on one with a theist with no-one else listening and I can make some sort of in roads or plant the seed of doubt in there minds I will be nice and a good face of none belief. If someone is beginning offensive towards my non-belief and people are listening I am still nice as it has emotive value that they see me as being the voice of reason, the theist just looks silly. But in the case of a one on one no-one listening and they are being offensive I give them both barrels backed up with a reason grenade and peer reviewed passion.

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"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence"
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18-11-2011, 05:52 PM
RE: Convocations With Believers
(18-11-2011 02:13 PM)BCollingwood Wrote:  It completely depends on the situation. If I'm in a one on one with a theist with no-one else listening and I can make some sort of in roads or plant the seed of doubt in there minds I will be nice and a good face of none belief. If someone is beginning offensive towards my non-belief and people are listening I am still nice as it has emotive value that they see me as being the voice of reason, the theist just looks silly. But in the case of a one on one no-one listening and they are being offensive I give them both barrels backed up with a reason grenade and peer reviewed passion.

I just remember one day some Jehova's or ..... maybe they were Mormons... I dunno which but they ride around on 10-speeds going door to door and wearing white dress shirts, black slacks, and wearing a black name tag and tie. But I remember them comming and knockin on my door interrupting an episode of Sons of Anarchy. After realizing what and who I opened my door to sparked some anger and wanting to hastely get rid of em I responded "Fuck off..." and went to shut the door when that piece of shit placed his foot between my door and wedged it open saying "Do you believe in the word of God?!" Grabbing one of my swords off the wall near the door I opened the door again say, "I believe that I'm going to cut that foot off and shove it and your God up your ass..." His eyes wide and clutching his Bible close to him, he made a hasty retreat down the walkway to his 10-speed saying that, "only God can save me from the Devil."

Not that big of a deal story to tell but one thing I think about now about it is how the Bible (word of god, a.k.a "sword") was no match for my real sword which I threatened the poor sap with.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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18-11-2011, 06:35 PM
RE: Convocations With Believers
Yeah I get angered by what I call "theological muggers" that come up to me in the street try and talk to me when I'm busy or doing something not because of there intent but because it causes me to be rude and go "NO I'M BUSY!" But sometimes it just has to be done. If anything beneficial comes from that it will be that a seed of doubt enters there mind about there faith.

A story I have about one of these situations was one day I was walking to lectures and two of these guys crossed the street to talk to me. I apologised because I was late to lectures. When I got there my lecture was cancelled. So on the way back they spotted me and I had no good excuse so I explained I'm an atheist and one of them confessed he used to be too now he's an evangelical christian that believes in the literal truth of the bible. I sometimes carry a bible in my bag it's filled with sticky notes and highlights of contradictions, rewrites, immorality and so on. So I pulled it out of my bag and handed it to him and asked him to turn to Matthew. So he did. I said to him, "So you was a real atheist?" He nodded, "You rejected God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit?" He said yes. I pointed to the verse I had high lighted in Matthew (12:32)
Quote:Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

He looked at me after he had finished reading I pointed to others I had highlighted such as mark 3:28-30 that calls blasphemy against the spirit an eternal sin. Luke 12:9 and on. He looked like he was going to be sick. I said too him "I'm sorry man but in the eyes of the bible becoming an atheist is a one way trip." His fellow evangelical hadn't seen the passages that I had shown him and remained smiling faced and asked if I would attend there church on sunday afternoon. I replied "I'm afraid I will not be and I don't think your friend will be either," He was still looking at the ground pale faced. I patted him on the back and said "see you in hell man" and left.

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"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence"
- David Hume
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18-11-2011, 07:53 PM
RE: Convocations With Believers
(18-11-2011 06:35 PM)BCollingwood Wrote:  His fellow evangelical hadn't seen the passages that I had shown him and remained smiling faced and asked if I would attend there church on sunday afternoon. I replied "I'm afraid I will not be and I don't think your friend will be either," He was still looking at the ground pale faced. I patted him on the back and said "see you in hell man" and left.

That's funny.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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18-11-2011, 09:01 PM
RE: Convocations With Believers
Syntax error. This is positive atheism. Stark!

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19-11-2011, 01:06 AM
RE: Convocations With Believers
(18-11-2011 09:01 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Syntax error. This is positive atheism. Stark!

Stark can't save you... your in our world now... Big Grin

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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19-11-2011, 01:15 AM
RE: Convocations With Believers
(19-11-2011 01:06 AM)ddrew Wrote:  
(18-11-2011 09:01 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Syntax error. This is positive atheism. Stark!

Stark can't save you... your in our world now... Big Grin

Wrong. You're in MY world now. You've met with a terrible fate haven't you? But don't worry because in my world you're bound to have "fun". Fun for everyone even theists but their "fun" will be of a different breed...

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19-11-2011, 03:29 AM
RE: Convocations With Believers
Holy crap both of your posts were hilarious BCollingwood. I don't know what else to say other than it would have been epic to be there.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo

"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do." - Voltaire
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