Courage
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
16-03-2012, 09:36 PM
Courage
Hey, guys. I've been lurking around the forum for a while now and figured it was time for me to join. As I do, I would like to ask a favor...

Tonight I finally sat down and wrote my wife a letter explaining to her that I am an atheist. Without going into much detail, I am terrified for her to know. I've been a closet atheist for 3 years now, and no one knows. Every person in my life is a Christian. I just can't hide it anymore. I've got to be honest.

Anywho, I've got the letter, now I just need to grow a set and give it to her. Any encouragement you guys could offer would be much appreciated.

I look forward to participating in the discussions here. Thanks for having me.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-03-2012, 10:21 PM
RE: Courage
SO let me get this straight. You want US to give YOU words of encouragement because you lack the courage? You've already written the letter so why you would need us is beyond me.

I'm not the best at pep talks so I'll tell you what I think. Keep in mind that I'm a realist.

I say ditch the letter and tell you wife face to face. Do not be confrontational because that won't go well. Stop hiding behind cowardice and a false persona.

Also. Welcome to forum.

NEW AND IMPROVED!
Twice the anger, Half the space!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-03-2012, 10:24 PM
RE: Courage
hey! welcome!! you raised from the darkness of lurking and said hello, that must take a lot more courage than telling your life partner you don't share her most deep and transcendent beliefs so I'm sure you won't have any issues Big Grin

In a serious note, go ahead, you wrote the letter already, but remember that telling her will bring consequences so be ready to face them. Being out of the closet is usually the best shot, even though sometimes is the hardest Big Grin

[Image: sigvacachica.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-03-2012, 11:16 PM
RE: Courage
(16-03-2012 09:36 PM)dexrusjak Wrote:  Anywho, I've got the letter, now I just need to grow a set and give it to her.

And I'd be disappointed in her if she didn't just bitch slap the shit out of your sorry ass.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-03-2012, 11:28 PM
RE: Courage
Welcome! I slowly eased my husband into the idea of atheism (videos, topics, etc) and he came to his own conclusions. Smile. To each there own way though, good luck to you as you reveal your true self.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-03-2012, 08:47 AM
RE: Courage
(16-03-2012 11:16 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(16-03-2012 09:36 PM)dexrusjak Wrote:  Anywho, I've got the letter, now I just need to grow a set and give it to her.

And I'd be disappointed in her if she didn't just bitch slap the shit out of your sorry ass.

What's with all the hostility?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-03-2012, 09:34 AM
RE: Courage
Girly just likes him some strong women.

Welcome to the forum. Hopefully you won't have much of an issue. Is your wife anti atheist or something?

Either way good luck to you, and always remember that there's no reason to fight, even if she doesn't accept you for who you are. That's just the way it is.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes lucradis's post
17-03-2012, 09:48 AM
RE: Courage
(17-03-2012 08:47 AM)dexrusjak Wrote:  
(16-03-2012 11:16 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(16-03-2012 09:36 PM)dexrusjak Wrote:  Anywho, I've got the letter, now I just need to grow a set and give it to her.

And I'd be disappointed in her if she didn't just bitch slap the shit out of your sorry ass.

What's with all the hostility?

It's not hostility, they are just full of it. Smile You'll get used to it and see the humor if you stick around.

Have you paved the way with your wife or are you going to just go for shock value?

I would pave the way. I don't know your wife or your relationship of course.

If you tell me things like whether you engage in any religious rituals together (praying over food or going to church etc) or what beliefs she has, and such details, I'll try to answer your post.

With the sparse info I have, I can't even tell you if I think the letter is a good idea, or make any suggestions...

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-03-2012, 09:57 AM
RE: Courage
Keep the letter. It's good to have it to refer to. I'd do the actual telling face to face - no way to avoid it. But I'm also a guy who hates this kind of scary confrontation and I find writing stuff down and having it handy helps me to remember the thread of my conversation without freaking out and being reduced to incoherence.

Also she might freak out herself, so be prepared for that. What sort of reaction do you expect from her? Be sure to emphasize that you love her and nothing changes that. Also if she says something hurtful don't get upset - it's quite a thing to drop on someone suddenly.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-03-2012, 10:37 AM
RE: Courage
Why not a conversation that lets her know that you have/had doubts about religious beliefs. See how strong her response is. If/when she asks why you are not believing, give her some examples. See if she if open to what you are saying. Either way, it's hard to live a lie so you have to start somewhere.

Being Athiest doesn't mean you are a different person in how you behave except for cutting out religious rituals from your life. If you are a good guy then you are a good guy regardless of your belief or lack thereof in a god.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: