Coyote Love
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19-06-2016, 05:31 AM
Coyote Love
(Listen to Joe Walsh's "Coyote Love" (Songs for a Dying Planet) while reading this thread)

.....

Have you ever woke up with something so bad, if it were lying on your arm - you'd chew off your arm, like a coyote in a leg trap -- just to get away without waking it up?

....

I have.

A long time ago - in a galaxy far, far away...... (Petaluma California, 1984).....


I went to "Cruise Night" in Petaluma --- where people from a pretty wide area, would show up, and run the main street strip of Petaluma in classic cars and bikes. It was actually a pretty cool deal.

Well, that night there was alcohol involved..... Lots of it.... Tequila, I'm guessing, by the taste of my vomit the next morning.....

I woke up in an apartment - on the floor on a mattress -- with an odd looking lump next to me...... As my vision cleared - I realized that I was next to the "Missing Link".... We're talking serious simian shit here -- the only part of her that wasn't hairy was her knuckles - the spots that dragged on the ground......

I quietly and quickly gathered up my clothes - went into the next room, dressed and went out the front door without closing the door. (No sense waking "The Link".) Walking outside, into a parking lot, I staggered around looking for my bike. (stopping a couple of times to puke in the bushes).. It wasn't there. I walked all the way around the apartment complex -- and no bike.... Shit, shit, shit.............

Having gone all the way around the building - I'd come back to the open door I'd walked out........ Shit, shit, shit...... This is really gonna suck......

Fortunately -- the "young lady" involved -- had woken - and covered up itself in some clothing....

"Where's my bike?" I blurted out.. "You left it in Petaluma" she says.......?????

"OK" I say "where the fuck is THIS???" "We're in Vallejo" she says......

Shit, shit, shit.......

I manage to convince her that it's vital to the security of Western Civilization (or something) that I get back to my bike as quickly as possible.....

"But you said you'd take me out to breakfast!!!!!!"............................

shit, shit, shit......

I manage to convince otherwise........

She drives me back to Petaluma -- and stops for gas on the way...... The dude running the gas station figured it out in about 2 seconds - and gave me some shit with a wicked grin on his face........... That obvious, huh????

......
My bike was parked in a residential area of Petaluma that I'd never been in...... It probably would have took me a week to find it - just knowing what town it was in....

There's no moral to this story of course...


Although - drinking yourself blind, and picking up women can be a bit dicey......

Done worse???

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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19-06-2016, 05:39 AM
RE: Coyote Love
nope.
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19-06-2016, 07:03 AM
RE: Coyote Love
actually i did have a similar experience, only it was in reverse. a few years ago i was drinking at the local bar and one of the regulars, a very attractive woman, sits next to me and starts chatting. eventually she starts talking about her boyfriend, and how much of an asshole he is. anyways, she asks me if i want to walk her to her house so she can let her dogs out (she literally lives throwing distance from the bar). so we go to her apartment and she lets the dogs do their business. theres a bit of awkward silence afterwards, then we head back to the bar. i was so shy and inept at talking to woman and totally blew my chance to make a move. she even bent down right in front of me, while petting her dogs! so i sat there like a tool at the bar for the rest of the night wanting to kill myself. then a month or so later i hear she died in a drunk driving accident along with her boyfriend. im still kicking myself to this day for not making a move.
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19-06-2016, 07:43 AM
RE: Coyote Love
(19-06-2016 07:03 AM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  ...
then a month or so later i hear she died in a drunk driving accident along with her boyfriend. im still kicking myself to this day for not making a move.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

No need to dig that one up.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Sleepy

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19-06-2016, 07:59 AM
RE: Coyote Love
(19-06-2016 07:43 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(19-06-2016 07:03 AM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  ...
then a month or so later i hear she died in a drunk driving accident along with her boyfriend. im still kicking myself to this day for not making a move.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

No need to dig that one up.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Sleepy

hey at least i wouldnt be nervous about talking. unless i ran into the groundskeeper.
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