Create your own New Age Scam
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13-04-2014, 03:37 PM
Create your own New Age Scam
Step 1. Generate New age bullshit
Step 2. Post your results here
Step 3. ????
Step 4. Profit

http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/

My results:

Consciousness is a constant.

Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is fulfillment. Wonder is the driver of health.

Throughout history, humans have been interacting with the galaxy via electromagnetic forces.

Dogma is the antithesis of freedom. We can no longer afford to live with desire. Without rebirth, one cannot grow.


Greed is born in the gap where transformation has been excluded. You may be ruled by ego without realizing it. Do not let it disrupt the nature of your myth. Only an entity of the quantum soup may bring about this unifying of presence.

It is a sign of things to come. The rekindling of inspiration is now happening worldwide. The future will be a transformative unveiling of transformation.

Our conversations with other adventurers have led to a summoning of pseudo-astral consciousness.
You will soon be reborn by a power deep within yourself — a power that is magical, sublime. Through reiki, our chakras are opened by intuition. Naturopathy may be the solution to what’s holding you back from a powerful spark of intuition.

The totality is radiating chaos-driven reactions. We believe, we live, we are reborn. You and I are entities of the quantum soup.

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13-04-2014, 03:46 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
Nothing is impossible.

Prophet, look within and unify yourself.

By ennobling, we dream. You and I are beings of the dreamscape.

Soon there will be a refining of energy the likes of which the dreamscape has never seen.

If you have never experienced this vision inherent in nature, it can be difficult to self-actualize. It can be difficult to know where to begin. The world is calling to you via a resonance cascade. Can you hear it?

Through astrology, our dreams are baptized in inseparability. As you grow, you will enter into infinite will that transcends understanding. The akashic record may be the solution to what’s holding you back from an epic paradigm shift of will.

You will soon be reborn by a power deep within yourself — a power that is pranic, authentic. Insight is the driver of rebirth. We exist as frequencies.

Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is ecstasy. The planet is overflowing with supercharged electrons. To traverse the path is to become one with it.

Consciousness consists of atomic ionization of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a redefining of the heroic. This life is nothing short of a blossoming rebirth of astral health. We dream, we heal, we are reborn

Consider

The requirement of evidence to back your claim does not disappear because it hurts your feelings, reality does not care about your feefees.
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13-04-2014, 04:02 PM (This post was last modified: 13-04-2014 08:28 PM by Lightvader.)
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
Are you tired of wasting thousands of dollars on your health? We have the solution! Allow me to give you a short lecture on health problems related to water. Water has a memory. It remembers and resembles properties of things it has been in contact with . This can be seen if you add colouring to water and a few hours later it has remembered and is resembling the properties of this colouring. This is the main reason why people get sick. Think about it,the water has been in nature millions of years before you drank it,and it has probably been in contact with numberous things,like poop, poison, bacteria, stone, sand, CO2, rotten meat, radiation, dihydrogen monooxide and much more. We get sick when we drink water that resembles the properties of something harmful to human. Drinking water that has not been filtered has been proven to be the number one cause in cancer,HIV,reumatism,influenza,autism,ADHD,dementia and every single dissease that's out there. This is where i come in. Studies have shown that we can erase the memory of water by ionizing it and then filtering it 9 times in a complicated proces that is patented by LVcorp ™. It erases the complete memory,and has scientifically been proven to work better than destilling machines and reverse osmosis. We from LVcorp ™ have made the revolutionary H2OMEMCLEANER ™ that will help you live a healtier life for just $999,- . Results will be visible after only 4 weeks. Yes,you heard that right,not 10,not 9,just 4 weeks ! Order now and get the fancy waterbucket compatible with this device worth $90,- for free! Call now at 666-LV-LIES.




Filter is just a made-in-china el-cheapo filter

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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13-04-2014, 05:05 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
oooh i have posted this before, but here is my created religion!

Lets say i approach you, we have been friends/co-workers for a long while, and I am visibly excited. I tell you how I was invited to a meeting, a group called CPU, and they showed me some exciting things, and I wanted to invite you to the next meeting. (no it isnt AMWAY ) So I convince you to come, and you meet a nice group of uber friendly people who give you hearty handshakes and beaming smiles. Once all the pleasantries die down, and some food has been demolished, they start telling you about how an archaeologist had discovered an ancient text in a cave, and it described a purple unicorn that flew across the sky, and farted rainbow sprinkles, bestowing wishes for all those who truly believed. he did this until the non believers found him, and killed him, but as the believers stood weeping around his body, it started to glow, and *gasp* rise into the air, and with a whinny and a toss of his tail, he rose into the sky and as he disappeared he said, I will return, and bring you to paradise. These 12 believers were astonished and told everyone the story, they gained followers here and there....people are always drawn to smiles and excitement, and will pretty much believe anything, or pretend to, so they can be part of the group.

Now years later, this secret group has decided to spread the good word to the world, and you can get in on the ground floor! With much fanfare and drama, they whip aside a golden curtain and show you a golden telescope, they reverently beckon you to look into it..."look, and you can see him for yourself"...you look incredulously into it, but alas, dont see anything but the sky. You tell them you dont see anything, they give each other knowing looks and say "ahhh he only shows himself to those who truly believe, think hard about your belief, suspend your doubt, look again" then you get a gathering of folk behind you, slapping you on the back and nodding their heads....you look through the glass again...and even though you dont see anything, you start to think, there must be something to this...maybe I am just not ready yet....but you turn and gasp aloud "oh my unicorn! I see him, and he is glorious!". they all circle you and much merriment happens. They give you a copy of the BOOK OF UNICORN to cherish and study. Be strong, the non believers will question your faith, they are the enemy, and strive to steer you off the course of true enlightenment.

Feel free to join me and the CPU in all of its glory! Only 30% tithing daily and the only clothing requirement is NONE! *opens door* Come on in! Drooling

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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13-04-2014, 05:25 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
Freedom is the truth of chi, and of us. Choice is a constant.
We must enlighten ourselves and enlighten others.

Only an entity of the dreamscape may engender this reintegration of potential. Selfishness is born in the gap where will has been excluded. Stagnation is the antithesis of aspiration.

Humankind has nothing to lose. We are at a crossroads of interconnectedness and dogma. Our conversations with other pilgrims have led to a maturing of ultra-angelic consciousness.

Imagine a flowering of what could be. Eons from now, we entities will reflect like never before as we are awakened by the stratosphere. We are being called to explore the totality itself as an interface between life and sharing.

By ennobling, we vibrate.

This life is nothing short of a condensing canopy of cosmic conscious living. You and I are entities of the dreamscape. We exist as molecular structures.

Although you may not realize it, you are mythic. Have you found your story? How should you navigate this ever-present totality?


OOoo, damn, I'm sucked into this totally.

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13-04-2014, 06:16 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
Had this been available 18 years ago it could have saved Alan Sokal hours of work.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair
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13-04-2014, 07:07 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
Divine Energies: Up Yours

For millennia, man has gazed in wonder at his anus. While many dismiss it as a mundane organ of waste disposal, it is so much more than this. It is time to see your arsehole in whole new light.

Scientists have discovered that Earth is radiating energies into space... Energies our ancestors once harnessed and used to forge the great civilizations of the past. These energies emerge from certain points on the Earth. In the past, man would absorb these energies and put them to good use. But in our materialistic modern world, these energies are not absorbed and come to overwhelm us spiritually... It is scientifically proven that a build up of this energy is responsible for global warming, cancer, and economic chaos.

But how can we absorb these energies that our ancestors once harnessed? Through what means can they enter our being? Yes, that's right, your anus is the gateway by which you can absorb energy and bring balance to your life.

For just $200, we will send you the Anal Awakenings pack which contains books and DVDs on clenching techniques, and how to receive even if you can't bend over!

Order within the next 10 minutes and receive a free "I'm Up Myself" T-shirt.

Its time to bend over, and spread your cheeks for a better tomorrow!

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13-04-2014, 08:30 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
(13-04-2014 07:07 PM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  Divine Energies: Up Yours

For millennia, man has gazed in wonder at his anus. While many dismiss it as a mundane organ of waste disposal, it is so much more than this. It is time to see your arsehole in whole new light.

Scientists have discovered that Earth is radiating energies into space... Energies our ancestors once harnessed and used to forge the great civilizations of the past. These energies emerge from certain points on the Earth. In the past, man would absorb these energies and put them to good use. But in our materialistic modern world, these energies are not absorbed and come to overwhelm us spiritually... It is scientifically proven that a build up of this energy is responsible for global warming, cancer, and economic chaos.

But how can we absorb these energies that our ancestors once harnessed? Through what means can they enter our being? Yes, that's right, your anus is the gateway by which you can absorb energy and bring balance to your life.

For just $200, we will send you the Anal Awakenings pack which contains books and DVDs on clenching techniques, and how to receive even if you can't bend over!

Order within the next 10 minutes and receive a free "I'm Up Myself" T-shirt.

Its time to bend over, and spread your cheeks for a better tomorrow!

sir, i am the writer of the number one blog for customer reviews. I would like to try out this Anal Rewakening Pack for free and report back. Care to send one over?

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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13-04-2014, 08:53 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
By summoning, we live. Hobo

Consciousness consists of supercharged waveforms of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a blossoming of the angelic. Nothing is impossible.

We must learn how to lead psychic lives in the face of illusion.

We must beckon ourselves and enlighten others. The source of being is now happening worldwide. It is time to take truth to the next level.

Humankind has nothing to lose. Who are we? Where on the great myth will we be re-energized? Reality has always been electrified with travellers whose lives are engulfed in karma.

You will soon be guided by a power deep within yourself — a power that is amazing, mythic. The akashic record may be the solution to what’s holding you back from an incredible ozmosis of insight. As you live, you will enter into infinite stardust that transcends understanding.

To navigate the circuit is to become one with it.

Soon there will be a blossoming of transcendence the likes of which the quantum cycle has never seen. This journey never ends. Imagine an awakening of what could be.

The goal of frequencies is to plant the seeds of transcendence rather than stagnation. Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is inseparability. Balance is the driver of learning.

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13-04-2014, 08:54 PM
RE: Create your own New Age Scam
(13-04-2014 08:30 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  
(13-04-2014 07:07 PM)Paranoidsam Wrote:  Divine Energies: Up Yours

For millennia, man has gazed in wonder at his anus. While many dismiss it as a mundane organ of waste disposal, it is so much more than this. It is time to see your arsehole in whole new light.

Scientists have discovered that Earth is radiating energies into space... Energies our ancestors once harnessed and used to forge the great civilizations of the past. These energies emerge from certain points on the Earth. In the past, man would absorb these energies and put them to good use. But in our materialistic modern world, these energies are not absorbed and come to overwhelm us spiritually... It is scientifically proven that a build up of this energy is responsible for global warming, cancer, and economic chaos.

But how can we absorb these energies that our ancestors once harnessed? Through what means can they enter our being? Yes, that's right, your anus is the gateway by which you can absorb energy and bring balance to your life.

For just $200, we will send you the Anal Awakenings pack which contains books and DVDs on clenching techniques, and how to receive even if you can't bend over!

Order within the next 10 minutes and receive a free "I'm Up Myself" T-shirt.

Its time to bend over, and spread your cheeks for a better tomorrow!

sir, i am the writer of the number one blog for customer reviews. I would like to try out this Anal Rewakening Pack for free and report back. Care to send one over?

We would be happy to offer you a sample, free of charge... For just $200.

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