Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
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09-12-2013, 10:20 PM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
Vosur's guide to getting rid of Jehova's Witnesses in Germany:

1. Tell them that you don't want them to come to your house anymore.
2. ???
3. Profit.

We did that over 10 years ago and haven't seen them since. Drinking Beverage

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09-12-2013, 10:23 PM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
I think my annual Halloween display has discouraged them...and others.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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09-12-2013, 10:27 PM (This post was last modified: 09-12-2013 10:31 PM by Crulax.)
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
(09-12-2013 10:20 PM)Vosur Wrote:  Vosur's guide to getting rid of Jehova's Witnesses in Germany:

1. Tell them that you don't want them to come to your house anymore.
2. ???
3. Profit.

We did that over 10 years ago and haven't seen them since. Drinking Beverage

They're a little more stubborn here in the states. Especially in the south were I live.

Used to live in Augsburg and really want to move back. Loved it when I was there!

Onward, my faithful steed!
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09-12-2013, 10:29 PM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
(09-12-2013 10:27 PM)Crulax Wrote:  
(09-12-2013 10:20 PM)Vosur Wrote:  Vosur's guide to getting rid of Jehova's Witnesses in Germany:

1. Tell them that you don't want them to come to your house anymore.
2. ???
3. Profit.

We did that over 10 years ago and haven't seen them since. Drinking Beverage

They're a little more stubborn here in the states. Especially in the south were I live.

Yes, fortunately, though, they are a lot more understanding of your Second Amendment rights in the South....just sayin'....Big Grin

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10-12-2013, 08:06 AM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
(09-12-2013 10:29 PM)Taqiyya Mockingbird Wrote:  
(09-12-2013 10:27 PM)Crulax Wrote:  They're a little more stubborn here in the states. Especially in the south were I live.

Yes, fortunately, though, they are a lot more understanding of your Second Amendment rights in the South....just sayin'....Big Grin

Hehe, my wife put up a sign that said "unless you're selling ammo or Girl Scout Cookies, we aren't buying. We don't want your religions, steaks or political views."

I have a fun time when people decide to knock anyway. I usually start out by asking them with a smile "Hi, are you collecting money to help the illiterate?" I usually get a stupid look or a no. I point to the sign and say, well I assumed you didn't know how to read. I've found that being offensive as possible while being terribly pleasant will get them to walk away in a huff.

If that doesn't work, I have a katana near my door that I can "casually" pick up and start playing with.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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10-12-2013, 09:13 AM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
The sign "Beware the large dog - not responsible for injuries resulting from dog bites. You are being videotaped" seems to work here. Tongue

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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10-12-2013, 10:55 AM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
(10-12-2013 08:06 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(09-12-2013 10:29 PM)Taqiyya Mockingbird Wrote:  Yes, fortunately, though, they are understanding of your Second Amendment rights in the South....just sayin'....Big Grin

Hehe, my wife put up a sign that said "unless you're selling ammo or Girl Scout Cookies, we aren't buying. We don't want your religions, steaks or political views."

I have a fun time when people decide to knock anyway. I usually start out by asking them with a smile "Hi, are you collecting money to help the illiterate?" I usually get a stupid look or a no. I point to the sign and say, well I assumed you didn't know how to read. I've found that being offensive as possible while being terribly pleasant will get them to walk away in a huff.

If that doesn't work, I have a katana near my door that I can "casually" pick up and start playing with.
Katanas aren't menacing enough, what you need is a stone axe. ,close quarters, qucik as lightning and will crush anything turning bone into dust. Plus some can double as a rituals implement as a symbol to the old gods that JW won't even know what to think. Psychological warfare at it's finest. Dress it up with a pentagram or two, it seems to be ward to them.

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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10-12-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
(10-12-2013 10:55 AM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  
(10-12-2013 08:06 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Hehe, my wife put up a sign that said "unless you're selling ammo or Girl Scout Cookies, we aren't buying. We don't want your religions, steaks or political views."

I have a fun time when people decide to knock anyway. I usually start out by asking them with a smile "Hi, are you collecting money to help the illiterate?" I usually get a stupid look or a no. I point to the sign and say, well I assumed you didn't know how to read. I've found that being offensive as possible while being terribly pleasant will get them to walk away in a huff.

If that doesn't work, I have a katana near my door that I can "casually" pick up and start playing with.
Katanas aren't menacing enough, what you need is a stone axe. ,close quarters, qucik as lightning and will crush anything turning bone into dust. Plus some can double as a rituals implement as a symbol to the old gods that JW won't even know what to think. Psychological warfare at it's finest. Dress it up with a pentagram or two, it seems to be ward to them.

I think you underestimate the power of a Katana, especially given the way Hollywood portrays them. They don't call Katanas "portable guillotines" for nothing. A european style sword or axe needs to be swung really hard in order to do any real damage as most of them don't have a real sharp edge. A Katana, on the other hand, could slice your hand off with minimal pressure and are far more maneuverable.

That said, I like your idea of a stone axe for intimidation. I just don't happen to own one. I have a large collection of swords, but no axes.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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10-12-2013, 12:14 PM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
(09-12-2013 09:18 PM)Crulax Wrote:  Not sure where to put this so I will put it here.

Tired of Jehovah's Witness worshipers knocking on your door once a week! Try one of the following!

1. A friend of mine claims that he drew a pentagram on his front porch with some candles and was sitting in the center of it with a frozen chicken mumbling. He said it was extremely effective. (This would require you to know in advance at what time they are going to arrive but they do seem punctual.)

2. Another friend answered the door with towel a wrapped around her and when she went to take the WatchTower magazine or whatever her towel fell and well they bore witness to her full glory. (She also touts it effectiveness.)

3. After about the fourth time of being woken up by them and them immediately asking me when I open the door. "Have you found Jesus?" Shout "For fucks sake you lost him again" This one was highly effective and I will vouch for it.

Hmm..

I just tell them to "shoo fly" complete with appropriate hand gestures.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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10-12-2013, 12:23 PM
RE: Crulax's Guide to getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses!
My father would invite them to talk on the porch. Our house was out in the middle of the country and it was rare that we got them, but when we did he wanted to make sure they didn't come back for a long time. He also figured the more time he could spend toying with them, then they were leaving the other neighbors alone. And frankly he was bored and he found it fun.

He would let them talk, then interrupt with little bits of information or ask questions about them. Which seemed random until they were there for awhile, and then their imaginations started to take over. Between each question he would let them ramble on a bit. Where are you from? How did you get way out here in the country? How are you getting back? It's real quiet out here. Neighbors never hear anything. We can shoot guns all day long and the police never come. Do you shoot? Kids scream all day too-still no one ever comes out here. If someone got lost I don't think anyone would come looking for them. There's an old cemetery down the road. No one ever goes there. Thru all of this he would also start undressing….first he would kick off his shoes, a little later his socks, unbutton a couple on his shirt, later a few more….he would keep it going….undressing and weird comments about guns, death, isolated until their imaginations or vision wouldn't hold out any longer. My Dad was a LARGE, OBESE man…..it wasn't pretty.

We only saw them every 5-7 years.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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