D's laconic S.S.
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01-02-2017, 01:27 AM
RE: Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)
(31-01-2017 09:33 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  You know, it just strikes me as odd that God picks such elaborate schemes to achieve his goals. Why not just strike Ptolemy and his army dead with a snap of his fingers in the first place? Why all the Rube Goldberg devices? It's like watching Wile E. Coyote trying to trap the Roadrunner.

Doc

I dunnno about Ptolemy's schemes but I think a lot of that stuff is easily explained as people retro-fitting a God explanation to natural events. Earthquake? God is angry with gay people. Never mind that he's got the option to strike them with lightning, to make women attractive to them, to drop rocks from outer space on them (wrapped in a note explaining exactly why he's angry)... the earthquake is what happened so an explanation is required. Since I am the holy man, I must somehow link it to God's anger, so that people give me more stuff and more respect. Accordingly, I identify that it is Adam and Steve's fault. They stuck it in the wrong hole which is icky, and God thought so too. Because he's a Big God who deals out non-specific punishments to people who're only tangentially related to Adam and Steve, hence earthquake. Stop asking questions you bastards, it was also the atheists fault! Hah! What are you gonna do now? You regret asking questions now don't you, you faithless dickheads. Burning at stake is wonderful pour encourager les autres.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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01-02-2017, 02:02 AM
RE: Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)
Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)

Weeping

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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01-02-2017, 05:46 AM
RE: Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)
(01-02-2017 02:02 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)

Weeping

Heretic!
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01-02-2017, 07:54 AM
RE: Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)
(01-02-2017 05:46 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(01-02-2017 02:02 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)

Weeping

Heretic!

I had a vision, a burning bush spake to me and said, “Take the Falcons and the points”.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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01-02-2017, 09:00 AM (This post was last modified: 01-02-2017 11:01 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: Doc's Patriotic Sunday School (thus saith the Lord, Patriots over Falcons, 28-25)
(01-02-2017 07:54 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(01-02-2017 05:46 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Heretic!

I had a vision, a burning bush spake to me and said, “Take the Falcons and the points”.

Arch-heretic! May St. Brady deflate your bloated ego! May St. Belichick spy out your wicked plots! May you be confined to the lowest depths of Cleveland with the devil Goodell!
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01-03-2017, 03:42 PM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (Patriots win! Thus saith the Lord-I TOLD YOU SO!)
I've been musing a little bit. After hearing a theistic relative describe Jesus as the Good Shepherd, I found myself wondering what exactly that meant. The relative was no doubt trying to make the point that Jesus takes care of his flock and was even willing to die for them.

But, here's the rub. Why does a shepherd take care of his sheep? Is it for their good or for his? All he wants is their wool and flesh. He doesn't particularly care about the well-being of an individual sheep or indeed the whole flock, except insofar as it affects the quality of their wool and meat. If he won the lottery, I doubt that he would continue on as shepherd.

Which leads me to the point: what exactly are we being fattened up for?

Doc
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01-03-2017, 04:42 PM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (Patriots win! Thus saith the Lord-I TOLD YOU SO!)
Oh.
So we're done now with Gloating Sunday School and we're supposed to start with the Ovis Sunday School. I'ma gonna talk to Betsy Devos about this shit.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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01-03-2017, 07:26 PM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (Patriots win! Thus saith the Lord-I TOLD YOU SO!)
No, no, Bucky, you don't understand. The adjective describing the Sunday School has to end in -ic as in bishopric.

Doc
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01-03-2017, 08:40 PM (This post was last modified: 01-03-2017 09:08 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (Patriots win! Thus saith the Lord-I TOLD YOU SO!)
I guess I missed that part.
I go to Solipsistic Sunday School, where I'm not really sure I'm there. I had to transfer out of Soporific Sunday School, cuz I kept falling asleep.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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01-03-2017, 09:19 PM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (Patriots win! Thus saith the Lord-I TOLD YOU SO!)
(01-03-2017 03:42 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Which leads me to the point: what exactly are we being fattened up for?

Doc

Perhaps the rapture is really nothing but lambs being led to the slaughter? A culling if you will. Gives a whole other meaning to the song, “Jesus Culls Us”.

[Image: animals-sheep-gymnasium-keeping_fit-exer...92_low.jpg]

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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