D's laconic S.S.
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09-05-2013, 10:40 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 10:33 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 10:24 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  High budget Bollywood blockbuster!

Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain, singing about how much he loves her and how the spicy food she cooks lights a fire within him. Moreover, the gospels say nothing about his dancing abilities.

Doc

Jesus has always changed with the times. Hell back before the BCE CE change over his name was Mithras and that cat could dance.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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09-05-2013, 12:17 PM
DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 10:33 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 10:24 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  High budget Bollywood blockbuster!

Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain, singing about how much he loves her and how the spicy food she cooks lights a fire within him. Moreover, the gospels say nothing about his dancing abilities.

Doc

But just think of the opportunity for another A. R. Rahman soundtrack!!
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09-05-2013, 02:03 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 12:17 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 10:33 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain, singing about how much he loves her and how the spicy food she cooks lights a fire within him. Moreover, the gospels say nothing about his dancing abilities.

Doc

But just think of the opportunity for another A. R. Rahman soundtrack!!

Cardinal Smurf,

Come to my arms! Another A. R. Rahman fan!

Come to think of it, it's too bad Jesus's life did not turn out like a Bollywood movie,where the whole drama could be compressed into 3 hours with lots of action, plenty of songs and dances and where the good guy always wins and ends up getting the girl. I vote that the movie be directed by M. Night Shyamalan to keep the Indian motif and to throw some mystery into the mix.

Doc
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09-05-2013, 02:11 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 02:03 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 12:17 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  But just think of the opportunity for another A. R. Rahman soundtrack!!

Cardinal Smurf,

Come to my arms! Another A. R. Rahman fan!

Come to think of it, it's too bad Jesus's life did not turn out like a Bollywood movie,where the whole drama could be compressed into 3 hours with lots of action, plenty of songs and dances and where the good guy always wins and ends up getting the girl. I vote that the movie be directed by M. Night Shyamalan to keep the Indian motif and to throw some mystery into the mix.

Doc

Surprise ending Satan is Jesus! What a twist.



(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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09-05-2013, 06:58 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 10:33 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 10:24 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  High budget Bollywood blockbuster!

Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain, singing about how much he loves her and how the spicy food she cooks lights a fire within him. Moreover, the gospels say nothing about his dancing abilities.

Doc

"Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain,"

I can picture him turning the other cheek
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09-05-2013, 07:43 PM
DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 06:58 PM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 10:33 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain, singing about how much he loves her and how the spicy food she cooks lights a fire within him. Moreover, the gospels say nothing about his dancing abilities.

Doc

"Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain,"

I can picture him turning the other cheek

Hmmm, wait. I may be confused. Who's supposed to be wearing the wet sari again?
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10-05-2013, 02:16 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 07:43 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 06:58 PM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  "Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain,"

I can picture him turning the other cheek

Hmmm, wait. I may be confused. Who's supposed to be wearing the wet sari again?

I meant her turning the other cheek under her wet sari.

You could have a saucy scene with the holy ghost entering the virgin mary while she slept.

Or Salome and Mary Magdalene in a wet T shirt display getting baptised in the river Jordan

Then there's Jesus the goat fucker....
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10-05-2013, 02:53 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(10-05-2013 02:16 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 07:43 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  Hmmm, wait. I may be confused. Who's supposed to be wearing the wet sari again?

I meant her turning the other cheek under her wet sari.

You could have a saucy scene with the holy ghost entering the virgin mary while she slept.

Or Salome and Mary Magdalene in a wet T shirt display getting baptised in the river Jordan

Then there's Jesus the goat fucker....

This is sounding more like Hustler films rather than Bollywood... No

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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10-05-2013, 05:32 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc: Mark, you insinuated earlier that Jesus may have staged some of his miracles to improve his finances. But that flies against the wisdom of the church which states that Jesus was poor and owned nothing but the clothes on his back.

Mark Fulton: A little study will dispel that notion. For example, when he was a baby, he got presents of gold, frankincense and myrrh from the magi. What happened to the money?

You remember those swaddling clothes that were redolent of the infant Jesus's sweat? The infancy gospels are replete with stories of Mary exchanging them for fabulous sums of money.

Jesus had some rich acquaintances like Zaccheus, the wee little tax-man and Joseph of Arimathea.

Some rich women like Joanna, the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod's household, Susannah and many others helped support Jesus and the Twelve out of their own means (Luke 8:3).

We also know that Jesus took in enough collections to need a money bag and a treasurer in the person of Judas Iscariot. The collections were so good that Judas could steal from the money bag and NOT have the loss detected (John 12:6).

Jesus's own disciple John was well known enough to the high priest Caiaphas to be let into his house after Jesus was arrested arguing for some wealth and renown on John's part.

Also, when faced with the prospect of feeding 4000 people in the desert, the disciples' primary concern was WHERE they could buy enough bread for the task and NOT WHETHER they had enough resources to do so (Mark 8:4) and it takes a lot of bread to buy that much bread.

The gospels record at least 10 meals or feasts that Jesus was invited to, no doubt as a result of his fame and connections.

Lastly, when Mary poured a flask of perfume worth a YEAR'S WAGES on Jesus, he did not object. He obviously enjoyed the finer things in life.

Doc: Ah! That would explain the incomes and lifestyles of our present-day televangelists.
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10-05-2013, 07:06 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
I'm surprised your pop quiz didn't include the question:

Which animal was God hoping Adam would pick as a fuck buddy before Adam was all like "Bitch make me a damn woman, I ain't into this shit"?
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