D's laconic S.S.
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26-12-2013, 09:46 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Oooh costumes! I love Sunday School role play!
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27-12-2013, 01:45 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(26-12-2013 09:46 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  Oooh costumes! I love Sunday School role play!

I am NOT wearing the choirboy costume.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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27-12-2013, 01:47 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
I'm trying to decide if I want to be a female character .. or do some cross-dressing. Wait, is that a sin?
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27-12-2013, 03:13 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(27-12-2013 01:47 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I'm trying to decide if I want to be a female character .. or do some cross-dressing. Wait, is that a sin?

According to the Torah, Yes

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27-12-2013, 03:15 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(27-12-2013 01:47 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  cross-dressing. Wait, is that a sin?

Not if you decorate your cross tastefully with mutilated man-flesh...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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28-12-2013, 12:43 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Knock-down, drag-out theological debate yesterday at Doc's family get-together that went something like this:

Family theist: God is good, patient, merciful, and kind.

Doc: No, he's not. Have you never read Numbers 31 where the Israelites acting on God's orders wipe out the entire nation of Midian except for 32,000 virgins? How did they determine the virginity of the survivors?

Family theist: What? That's not in the Bible!

Doc: Yes, it is.

Family theist: No, it's not.

Doc: Uh-huh.

Family theist: Nuh-uh.

Doc: Look, here's the portion. Read it for yourself.

Pause

Family theist: But that's not what it means. See, what Moses is really saying is...

Repeat ad infinitum.
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28-12-2013, 07:38 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc, I am so happy you found your voice again. Your above post, well with the exception of going to sunday school interfering with my watching away 49er games on TV, is the reason I started to question the true word of god.

If a human is telling me what god means, how do I know if that humans interpretation is correct. If god does not contact me directly it is filtered through the mind of another person. Without that direct contact I must be questioning of any statements made.

Please carry on with your good works.

I would particularly like a discussion of the weird numbers in revelations.
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29-12-2013, 09:39 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc, I like your hermaneutics. But I like Herman Munster better.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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30-12-2013, 11:09 AM (This post was last modified: 30-12-2013 12:40 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S SOPHOMORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
Doc: Before we delve into the Book of Revelation, I would like to clear up a couple of points. First, I want you all to forget my recent "wardrobe malfunction". Second, it may appear from our recent talk that King David was an ancient Ivan the Terrible, torturing and mutilating his enemies for fun. Nothing could be further from the truth. David was gentle, meek and kind.

Vosur: Doc, forget about it. We thought little of your incident. It was such a wee little thing. It was small of you to remind us of it. Let's move on, shall we? What makes you say David was not a sadistic despot?

Doc: Because, he was a man of God and a few isolated incidents should not mar his reputation.

Vosur: Is that so? Do you know what the last recorded words of David were? As a man of God, we would have expected them to be words of edification. Uplifting, morally encouraging words. Maybe words predicitng the advent of the Messiah through his bloodline. Instead, here's what we read in 1 Kings 2:1 "When David’s time to die was near, he told his son Solomon, “I am going the way of all the earth. So be strong. Show yourself to be a man."

Doc: So? That's good advice to give to a son and heir.

Vosur: But he also told his son this in verses 5-9:
"Now you know what Zeruiah’s son Joab did to me...Do not let his gray hair go down to the grave in peace...
See, there is with you Shimei the son of Gera the Benjamite, of Bahurim. It was he who spoke bad words against me on the day I went to Mahanaim...So do not let him go without being punished. For you are a wise man. You will know what you should do to him. Bring his gray hair down to the grave with blood.”
"Blood" was literally David's last word. David was indeed a man of God, a bloodthirsty cruel tyrant.
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31-12-2013, 01:58 PM
RE: DOC'S OBSTETRIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (DELIVERING GOD'S WORD SINCE 2013)
Colourcraze: Doc, since you mentioned Solomon, may I ask you a question? Jedidiah was the son of David and Bathsheba, correct?

Doc: I beg your pardon?

Colourcraxe: Jedidiah.

Doc: Who?

Colourcraze: Jedidiah. He was named this by David before Bathsheba changed it to Solomon. So much for the authority of the man in ancient Israel. Anyway, 1 Chronicle 3: 5, says that "these were the children born to (David) there: Shammua, Shobab, Nathan and Solomon. These four were by Bathsheba, daughter of Ammiel." Solomon appears to be the fourth son of David and Bathsheba.

Doc: So?

Colourcraze: So, in 2 Sam. 12:24 it says that Solomon was the second son of David and Bathsheba, born to comfort them after God punished David for murdering Bathsheba's husband and then committing adultery with her, by killing the first child born to them, possibly the Shammua listed above. Why the discrepancy?

Doc: Jedidiah, eh? Well, I never!
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