Dating Advice
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01-06-2011, 12:24 AM
 
Dating Advice
So I met this guy today, and we clicked and connected and all that good stuff, we exchanged numbers and talked for 3 hours. Everything seemed good, but he is super christian. He didn't beat me over the head with his religion but he definitely made reference to it, and I kinda clammed up and didn't really comment one way or another, actually I did say that I would rather sleep or go out to breakfast than go to church on a Sunday morning, and he laughed it off and the conversatio moved on. So my question is this, when and how do I go about telling him that I don't believe in god at all, I think jesus is a joke and i wouldn't be able to sit through a church service without laughing at the rediculousness of it all. I wouldn't want to sound offensive to him b ecause obviously I want him to like me, but this is the first time I'm finding myself in this situation and don't really know how to handle it. Any advice would be appreciated.
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01-06-2011, 12:55 AM
 
RE: Dating Advice
(01-06-2011 12:24 AM)what_now Wrote:  So I met this guy today, and we clicked and connected and all that good stuff, we exchanged numbers and talked for 3 hours. Everything seemed good, but he is super christian. He didn't beat me over the head with his religion but he definitely made reference to it, and I kinda clammed up and didn't really comment one way or another, actually I did say that I would rather sleep or go out to breakfast than go to church on a Sunday morning, and he laughed it off and the conversatio moved on. So my question is this, when and how do I go about telling him that I don't believe in god at all, I think jesus is a joke and i wouldn't be able to sit through a church service without laughing at the rediculousness of it all. I wouldn't want to sound offensive to him b ecause obviously I want him to like me, but this is the first time I'm finding myself in this situation and don't really know how to handle it. Any advice would be appreciated.

The next time he speaks about Jesus, you could go along those lines:

"Hun, look... I'm not really into Jesus, if anything I'm what people call an atheist. Do you think we could move along without referring to religion as so often?"

It's a diplomatic response, and you appear to be throwing the ball at him while in fact it's you who had it all along.

If his answer is negative, move along.
If it's positive, move on.
If he "converts", move in with him.
Tongue
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01-06-2011, 01:08 AM
RE: Dating Advice
What IS it with Christian guys getting all the good-looking atheist girls Dodgy

No, serious...
Minor issues at the time of dating become major soars on your relation later on. Make sure you communicate your atheist views early enough. Maybe even at the first date, if that topic passes by. Don't be afraid from it. Grab any occasion on one of the first dates to bring it up. You'll save yourself some serious heartache or trouble in your later life if you anticipate on problems now.

/*slightly off topic/
My first date with my wife was kind of a blind date. A friend of mine volunteered to be stand by at the telephone. Why? The agreement was that he would call me at 10PM. Should the date turn out really boring, I could use that call to say with a serious face that i was needed somewhere urgent without having to
  • Spend the remains of the evening in boring company
  • make up awkward excuses to leave
turned out there was no need for the "Dating bailout back up plan". Smile
Sometimes, when my friend visits us, I bring the story up and we 3 laugh ourselves silly! Big Grin
/slightly off topic*/

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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01-06-2011, 04:12 AM
RE: Dating Advice
I got a pretty good looking atheist girl Wink mind you she isn't very active in the whole freethinkers scene, but shes a smart girl.
My advice... if hes fundamentalist than thats a major problem, I dated a girl like that and she left because her dad told her I was a satan worshiper. So really it may be the parents that are a bigger issue if you 2 have a connection.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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01-06-2011, 04:43 AM
RE: Dating Advice
I would tell him if it crops up but don't just suddenly come out with it out of the blue. you wouldn't wanna sounds all militant about it. I agree with Celestus87, when it crops up be honest about your beliefs but in a tactful and non-militant way.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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01-06-2011, 12:28 PM
RE: Dating Advice
I've been through a few relationships and unfortunately our beliefs seemed to cause some issues. The girl I found now shares my same views on god and we are the most amazing couple if I might say so myself.

I would like to say something different but I really think that to truly have a wonderful relationship you cannot have something as huge as religion between the two of you. It just seems to cause way too many issues.
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02-06-2011, 07:51 PM (This post was last modified: 02-06-2011 07:54 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Dating Advice
(01-06-2011 12:24 AM)what_now Wrote:  So I met this guy today, and we clicked and connected and all that good stuff, ... but he is super christian ... actually I did say that I would rather sleep or go out to breakfast than go to church on a Sunday morning

If you'd have said you'd rather sleep with him than go to Church on a Sunday morning ... well, then there'd be another new member here. Wink

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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02-06-2011, 08:17 PM
 
RE: Dating Advice
(01-06-2011 12:24 AM)what_now Wrote:  So I met this guy today, and we clicked and connected and all that good stuff, we exchanged numbers and talked for 3 hours. Everything seemed good, but he is super christian. He didn't beat me over the head with his religion but he definitely made reference to it, and I kinda clammed up and didn't really comment one way or another, actually I did say that I would rather sleep or go out to breakfast than go to church on a Sunday morning, and he laughed it off and the conversatio moved on. So my question is this, when and how do I go about telling him that I don't believe in god at all, I think jesus is a joke and i wouldn't be able to sit through a church service without laughing at the rediculousness of it all. I wouldn't want to sound offensive to him b ecause obviously I want him to like me, but this is the first time I'm finding myself in this situation and don't really know how to handle it. Any advice would be appreciated.

Since you just met him, I'll make it direct and short.

It'll never work. Get out now, don't look back. You couldn't even click as friends.

Everything he holds sacred, you hold in contempt. And that will never change on your part. Nor will he see things your way, being a "super Christian".
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02-06-2011, 08:35 PM (This post was last modified: 02-06-2011 08:43 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Dating Advice
(02-06-2011 08:17 PM)GassyKitten Wrote:  Since you just met him, I'll make it direct and short.

It'll never work. Get out now, don't look back. You couldn't even click as friends.

Everything he holds sacred, you hold in contempt. And that will never change on your part. Nor will he see things your way, being a "super Christian".

Whoa there, FlatulentFeline. That seems extreme. Just 'cause I held those same things sacred a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, don't mean I hold them in any contempt now just because I find them naive and childish. Metaphysical disagreements don't mean you can't click. Hell, 25 years ago I married a devout Catholic. (yes, she's since been an atheist for quite some time now. Wink)

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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02-06-2011, 09:30 PM
 
RE: Dating Advice
(02-06-2011 08:35 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Whoa there, FlatulentFeline. That seems extreme. Just 'cause I held those same things sacred a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, don't mean I hold them in any contempt now just because I find them naive and childish. Metaphysical disagreements don't mean you can't click. Hell, 25 years ago I married a devout Catholic. (yes, she's since been an atheist for quite some time now. Wink)
That's GassyKitten, actually.
And my advice wasn't directed at you, was it.
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