Dating Believers
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13-10-2015, 01:13 AM
RE: Dating Believers
I'll echo what everyone else is saying.

It's a good relationship where you accept each other, strengths and foibles and irritating quirks and healthy disagreements and everything else. It's a good relationship where you can respect these things. It's a good relationship when you are a source of strength and a resource in their growth as a person and vice versa, but only as a RESOURCE... not as someone who is forcing that growth upon them. It's a good relationship when you know each other well enough to recognize boundaries and love each other enough to honor them. It's a good relationship when you have a common plan for the future. Above all, it's a good relationship when you can be open and honest and non-judgemental about these things.

There's no special rule about religion. Class that under strength or disagreement or quirk. Class that under things to respect -- not the religion itself, but its presence in your partner's life. Class it as something you can be a source of strength and a resource to grow past IF your partner is looking to, but NOT something you'll force your partner to grow past. Class it as something that your partner might have boundaries about, and honor them. Recognize it as something that might impact your plans for the future. (It might be too early to think about the sort of wedding ceremony or whether the kids would go to church, but that's the sort of thing you'd have to work out if it got that far.) Class that as something to be open and honest and non-judgemental about. And -- this is important -- look for the same consideration from your partner for your atheism.

If both you and your partner can manage this (with some inevitable and forgivable slips), then it's viable. If not, then not.

..... of course, I'm perennially single, so what do I know?
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13-10-2015, 01:37 AM
RE: Dating Believers
I don't think it is viable. While I care not for what people who I don't know believe I can't imagine being with someone who believe as I see religion as a idiocy and way of taking freedom of others away.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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13-10-2015, 01:46 AM
RE: Dating Believers
Oh for Christ sake (as it were)! Why do atheists have to over-think everything? Find a girl *first*, then you can worry about how to raise the kids. Sheesh!
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13-10-2015, 01:50 AM
RE: Dating Believers
(13-10-2015 01:46 AM)jabeady Wrote:  Oh for Christ sake (as it were)! Why do atheists have to over-think everything? Find a girl *first*, then you can worry about how to raise the kids. Sheesh!

Or a boy. Depending on your preference.

Or, indeed, one (or some) of each.

Big Grin

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13-10-2015, 04:42 AM
RE: Dating Believers
Would you want someone to befriend or romance you with the intention of converting you to their religion? Changing the way you dress/present yourself to the world? Changing your political beliefs to match theirs? It would be like having the world's longest conversation with a telemarketer.

I think you're best off looking for a partner you like and respect and see where things go after that. If you're honest about your lack of religion with the people you date and explain why you won't do things like go to church with them, then you have a better chance of finding someone who's accepting and supportive (and, hopefully, hot).
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13-10-2015, 05:29 AM
RE: Dating Believers
For me, no.

I am friends with believers, but not intimate. Your mileage may vary.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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13-10-2015, 05:33 AM
RE: Dating Believers
Dating??

Sure why not??

Live with one??

Are you outta your bleedin' mind???

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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13-10-2015, 07:40 AM
RE: Dating Believers
I wouldn't date a believer. I just think it brings too many potential problems with it. I see what the people in the forum who are married to believers go through. I think it just adds a lot of extra complications to a relationship. It's one thing if you were a believer yourself and married a believer and then became an atheist. It's another thing to be an atheist who is looking to start a rship with a believer. I think it's a good idea to look at some of the heartache on here as a cautionary tale.

I love being able to discuss things without the woo, I like being with someone who has similar viewpoints as my own. I have a lot of Christian/Catholic family and friends leftover from my days as a theist. I really like the escape of all that and that's why I love coming to TTA. I would like a rship with another atheist for that same sense of escape out of the woo world. I also think it's nice to be able to understand and support each other when you have friends and family who still ride the woo train. It's nice living in reality and I really don't want to live in woo-ville even for a rship.

Of course, this is just my opinion. You have to do what you feel is best for you. I also think there are some believers who are more spiritual than regimented in their beliefs, so you may find it easier to carry on a rship with that type of believer. I personally could not do it.
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13-10-2015, 07:43 AM
RE: Dating Believers
^^^^^^ What Jenny said.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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13-10-2015, 07:46 AM
RE: Dating Believers
(13-10-2015 07:43 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  ^^^^^^ What Jenny said.

What Organic Chemist said.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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