Dating a christian..
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
22-01-2012, 12:09 AM
Dating a christian..
I'm sure this has been talked about before but I tried searching for the words and found nothing. I come from a rural community and the only thriving buisness is christianity. there's really nothing to do in this town other than things the church orgainizes, so many people go to youth group on wednesday and SS on sunday just for something to do. However there are a lot of kool-aid drinkers in the crowd.

I know this girl we'll call her "Mary" for the sake of this thread. She is one of the kool-aid drinkers. She eats up every word, and her parents have a lot to do with it. They once banned her from going over to a friend of hers house because her friend is in a "non-traditional" situation. A lot of kids in this town often move in with someone else not related to them when they become of age an Mary's friend moved in with one of her friends and her mother.

Mary and I are friends and then one day she asked me if I wanted to go to dinner one night. I thought she was cute and said yes. She after dinner without really considering if I was an athiest and asked me to come to youth group with her. She really was religous, and we got to dating and things got as serious as they could get with an abstient christian. It seemed like everything we did was with the church.

I made a mistake somewhere, I didn't become a christain but I swallowed my athiesm for a while, until it killed the relationship. I really liked Mary..

Basically I suppose the question is can a christain, a hardcore christian, and athiest date?

Can anyone sympathize with me? anyone been in the same situation?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-01-2012, 12:56 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
Been there, doing that.

She's not that hardcore though, and we try quite hard not to get into theological debates. Ably not assisted by her atheist father who is a bit of a stirrer Tongue
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-01-2012, 04:46 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
I'm dating a Catholic as we speak.

Honestly it's just a matter of finding out what elements of that faith that particular person feels are valuable and why they engage in that faith.

In my case my GF thinks that it provides a sense of discipline and social structure. At that point I introduced her to how I get my social structure and discipline outside of the church environment. In this case martial arts and social board games as well as D&D.

It enabled me to share my interests and create a bonding moment by exchanging values we share rather then focusing on those we don't.

In time there have been moments where I have been able to point out opportunities of education missed by her Catholic upbringing such as the real facts on contraception or separation of church and private life.

Introduce said people to the advantages of life outside of a faith environment and they are likely to engage if they are someone you could spend a long amount of time with. I have a friend of mine who is married to a very hardcore home schooled Catholic and became Atheist shortly after they got married after engaging me in one too many talks. Tongue

They make things work by mostly respecting each others space and slowly even from an outsiders prospective I can tell that she is starting to question things a lot more often. There have been a few moments she has asked me about some pretty hardcore topics as I almost at one point became Catholic before becoming an Atheist.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Godless's post
22-01-2012, 08:04 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
Quote:Basically I suppose the question is can a christain, a hardcore christian, and athiest date?

Can anyone sympathize with me? anyone been in the same situation?

Not successfully. And don't even think of marriage. Been there, done that.

A question is "How much am I willing to compromise my beliefs?"
I, for one, cannot have an intimate relationship with any kind of hard-core woo believer, be it Christianity, astrology, homeopathy, esoterics, whatever.

I need to be able to respect the other person, and I don't respect woo believers.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Chas's post
22-01-2012, 08:33 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
It depends from case to case. I am disciplined enough to respect boundaries and I can tolerate the choice some people make to maintain a faith "compartment" in their mind as long as the rest of their mind is reasonable. I divorced a christian wife because she couldn't deal with my newly found free thoughts, but I had a 2-3 year-long relationship with another Christian woman and our break-up had nothing to do with faith. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

You can try to date her, sure, but be careful how far you allow things to advance. Her parents will not accept you in the long term, even if you're closeted, unless you go to her church and boogie-woogie all night long. If you consider marriage at some point, I'm pretty sure you'll have a religious service and your children will probably be raised as Christians against your will.

If she stays fundamentalist, my advice is to stay away. With a moderate and open-minded Christian it's moderately possible to co-exist and be yourself. With that kind of fundamentalist, it's extremely unlikely. It's very bad that, unless you want to pretend all your life, you will have to ask her to choose between you and her family. Even if she chooses you, you will pay, trust me on this one.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-01-2012, 08:45 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
Any relationship is possible if you respect each other. If not, just forget about it.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Ghost's post
22-01-2012, 09:32 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
i know these types of things are hard, but think long term, if shes not willing under any circumstance to accept you as an atheist, can it go far?
ar you willing to spend your life hiding this from a long term girlfriend/wife? It aint gonna be easy.

If shes willing to accept you and your lack of belief? if yes then you're good to go,
if she doesnt then you need to find someone who will, and it aint easy
finding another fish in the sea is easy, finding another fish in the desert is a somewhat harder challenge...

"Yeah, good idea. Make them buy your invisible apple. Insist that they do. Market it properly and don't stop until they pay for it." -Malleus
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-01-2012, 09:35 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
(22-01-2012 08:04 AM)Chas Wrote:  
Quote:Basically I suppose the question is can a christain, a hardcore christian, and athiest date?

Can anyone sympathize with me? anyone been in the same situation?

Not successfully. And don't even think of marriage. Been there, done that.

A question is "How much am I willing to compromise my beliefs?"
I, for one, cannot have an intimate relationship with any kind of hard-core woo believer, be it Christianity, astrology, homeopathy, esoterics, whatever.

I need to be able to respect the other person, and I don't respect woo believers.

I am in agreement with Chas on this.
Perfectly said.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-01-2012, 09:35 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
(22-01-2012 12:09 AM)Squid Wrote:  Basically I suppose the question is can a christain, a hardcore christian, and athiest date?

That's a serious question, with many religious and social overtones. I can help you, but first, one question - is she hot? Post some pictures to support your answer.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Jeff's post
22-01-2012, 10:47 AM
RE: Dating a christian..
In terms of generalities, an atheist is "lack of belief" and a Christian is comfy with Jesus; there's no need for a platform to come between good, honest lust. Wink

But yeah, like Chas says, ya gotta be careful with insanity. That's the way I see it. I can see myself dating a Christian girl, but I avoid crazy. Fortunately, I'm a psychopath; I can tell crazy. Big Grin

[Image: klingon_zps7e68578a.jpg]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes houseofcantor's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: