Dating a moderate muslim
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20-01-2014, 08:15 AM
Dating a moderate muslim
Hi,

So a while back I posted a topic about loneliness.
That's still there, but I spent a few days with family and started a new job, during the day this time, so I am among people a lot more, new co-workers also seem pretty cool.

I also started going back to the datingsites.
I met 1 young lady, 27, same age as I, but is from Morocco, speaks arabic and french with a basic little bit of english. (not exactly the perfect match for my dutch and english).
So we met up a couple of times (though she is always late Angry )
But we do have a nice time together.
She is very well educated, has 2 Masters degrees.

After a couple of dates I wanted to take things a step further, as any healthy European guy would like. But she told me she can't. She's from a respectable family and has to keep her family honor until marriage.

This is a pretty big culture clash.
I don't want to be that guy that would only break up with someone over sex, but it is pretty important.
Also, this would probably be not just be the only clash, there would probably be more.
I think there's also some legal issues, something about citizenship, no ability for divorce, honorvengeance etc. being commonplace.

What do I do? Continue and risk some bad stuff (and blue balls)
Or end it before it gets too serious?

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20-01-2014, 08:20 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
I'd say end it quick and find someone more compatable with your own way of living.
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20-01-2014, 08:24 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
Ending it would get you no blue balls and keeping it going would get you blue balls.

It might be a way for her and her family to be able to see if you're a keeper. But if you're already asking about ending it, I think ending it might be the best course of action.

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20-01-2014, 08:54 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
I once dated a full blown Muslim. Nice enough guy, fun to hang with - but - it got real ugly real fast when we actually started talking about real things.

There are as many women looking for men as there are men looking for women. You can afford to discard a few. I think you got legitimate cause.

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20-01-2014, 08:58 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
I think your best bet is to end the relationship as a dating couple and remain in contact as friends. Such a culture clash tends to end in tears, or worse.

“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― José Martí
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20-01-2014, 09:00 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
After writing down the OP I thought of a step in between, I can't just pick up and fly over there, but maybe I can at least send the father a letter asking his 'permission', that way we could at least openly date and she wouldn't have to sneak around or lie about where she's going. That way we can at least get to know eachother better.
I just sent her a message suggesting it and ask if she thinks it's a good idea.
Yes, blue balls would go on the con-list.
But on the pro-list would still be: highly educated, smart, sticks to principles.

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20-01-2014, 09:04 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
Well, good luck! They're your balls, after all; what you do with them is mostly your business. Big Grin

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20-01-2014, 09:04 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
Quote:I don't want to be that guy that would only break up with someone over sex, but it is pretty important.

?? You recognize that this is an important issue, but you don't want to be "that guy"?

What guy? The guy that breaks up with somebody over a "pretty important" things?

I would presume you want to be "that guy"

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20-01-2014, 09:12 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
Its your choice, but it would be very unusual for a muslim father to grant permission for his daughter to go out with a non-believer.

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20-01-2014, 09:18 AM
RE: Dating a moderate muslim
I would run.
Maybe I read this wrong, but is her family in another country and yet she is still worried about having fun?? Even though she is probably in her mid twenties or more?

Writing daddy for permission to date an adult woman?


Listen to what you saying!

She is trapped by her culture and when even away from home won't drop the routine, she will be nothing but a royal pain in the ass.

She does not think for herself no matter her education, she is controlled by others and it will be a nightmare the more you dig in.

Keep her as a friend but look for romance someplace else.

Just my .02 cents


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