Dating as an Atheist
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12-12-2015, 02:29 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
(12-12-2015 01:02 PM)zellerscrossing Wrote:  Greetings All,

I'm a 32 YO man, very passionate about my atheism. As an introvert and someone that isn't as hot as Thor, I really struggle with dating. To compound that, it's really important to me to date an atheist or secularist.

So I guess my question is; does anyone have any tips? I've been on all the dating sites which it's easy to choose "atheist" as a descriptor, but it hasn't really lead anywhere. I feel like when I ask a lady out, I just want to skip straight to that question as to not waste my time or hers (I have not yet done it this way).

When I do go on dates (of the unknown), I find that I lose a lot of respect for the person once they tell me they believe in a sky wizard. I dated a girl that was a christian for several years and it tore us apart in the end and was our biggest struggle throughout.

So, dating as an atheist - how do you guys (and gals) make it happen. PS: If your a hot lady atheist living in Idaho - hit me up Big Grin


I could write a book on atheist and dating site face palms. lol That being said, I put my atheism out there on the front page and when someone contacted me I made sure they read it and understood that meeting a like-minded person was paramount. It saved me a lot of grief.

At first I didn't do that and when they found out it was OMFGosh! Verbal abuse, preaching, calling me a whore in one breath and asking to meet to fuck in the next. OhmyFacepalmBlink

At least when I switch to posting it on the first paragraph of my profile it became a little less of an issue (though I still got some who would say it was okay and then a few posts or calls in would start to try to convert me.) No To be frank I gave up on dating sites over a year ago and not going back, but to be fair I'm not young nor hot so that too can make a difference.

I cannot fathom dating a believer. Atheism is my core thought process and I just do not think I can have the respect I would need to have a relationship with someone who is so deluded. It would be like me going out with a misogynist.... Just no. Sadcryface

Now, I want to address something else you posted, "As an introvert and someone that isn't as hot as Thor, I really struggle with dating." Then you turned right around and posted this, "PS: If your a hot lady atheist living in Idaho - hit me up Big Grin"

I can't begin to tell you what kind of cringe worthy statement that is. Seriously!!!

If all you want is a "hot" arm candy, save your money and call an escort service (safe sex please). As a person who isn't classified as "hot" this pains me to see people post this kind of stuff. Real attraction is not about hotness it's about connection. You're still young so maybe it's an age thing... unless, of course, looks is all you're after and if so then why post this and who gives a shit what they think, religious or otherwise. Buy a ball gag or tell them to just STFU.

For me... I'm still biding my time. I've been single for 4.5 yrs after a 30yr marriage and I might not ever find who/what I want in this very red and religious state of OK but I'd rather having nothing than the wrong thing. Smile

Peace

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12-12-2015, 02:41 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
I think you do need to be attracted to somebody, but attraction takes many forms. For instance, I'm a sucker for a guy with confidence, intelligence, and a great sense of humor. If you are just looking for some hot atheist chick and that's your only goal, you're not really going to have a meaningful relationship with someone and probably not one that's long lasting. Women like it when a guy takes the time to get to know them beyond their physical appearance. Just my two cents Tongue Wink

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12-12-2015, 02:50 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
I recall data coming out about some dating sites, I recall OKcupid specifically being one, that said with both men & women listing atheist was connected to getting more follow up responses in message communication. That data was 2-3 years old now but I don't think it would be a factor against it. I don't have any tips as I'm also a person who struggles with the whole initial small-talk range and would rather be beyond that most of the time.

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12-12-2015, 02:50 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
(12-12-2015 02:29 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  
(12-12-2015 01:02 PM)zellerscrossing Wrote:  Greetings All,

I'm a 32 YO man, very passionate about my atheism. As an introvert and someone that isn't as hot as Thor, I really struggle with dating. To compound that, it's really important to me to date an atheist or secularist.

So I guess my question is; does anyone have any tips? I've been on all the dating sites which it's easy to choose "atheist" as a descriptor, but it hasn't really lead anywhere. I feel like when I ask a lady out, I just want to skip straight to that question as to not waste my time or hers (I have not yet done it this way).

When I do go on dates (of the unknown), I find that I lose a lot of respect for the person once they tell me they believe in a sky wizard. I dated a girl that was a christian for several years and it tore us apart in the end and was our biggest struggle throughout.

So, dating as an atheist - how do you guys (and gals) make it happen. PS: If your a hot lady atheist living in Idaho - hit me up Big Grin


I could write a book on atheist and dating site face palms. lol That being said, I put my atheism out there on the front page and when someone contacted me I made sure they read it and understood that meeting a like-minded person was paramount. It saved me a lot of grief.

At first I didn't do that and when they found out it was OMFGosh! Verbal abuse, preaching, calling me a whore in one breath and asking to meet to fuck in the next. OhmyFacepalmBlink

At least when I switch to posting it on the first paragraph of my profile it became a little less of an issue (though I still got some who would say it was okay and then a few posts or calls in would start to try to convert me.) No To be frank I gave up on dating sites over a year ago and not going back, but to be fair I'm not young nor hot so that too can make a difference.

I cannot fathom dating a believer. Atheism is my core thought process and I just do not think I can have the respect I would need to have a relationship with someone who is so deluded. It would be like me going out with a misogynist.... Just no. Sadcryface

Now, I want to address something else you posted, "As an introvert and someone that isn't as hot as Thor, I really struggle with dating." Then you turned right around and posted this, "PS: If your a hot lady atheist living in Idaho - hit me up Big Grin"

I can't begin to tell you what kind of cringe worthy statement that is. Seriously!!!

If all you want is a "hot" arm candy, save your money and call an escort service (safe sex please). As a person who isn't classified as "hot" this pains me to see people post this kind of stuff. Real attraction is not about hotness it's about connection. You're still young so maybe it's an age thing... unless, of course, looks is all you're after and if so then why post this and who gives a shit what they think, religious or otherwise. Buy a ball gag or tell them to just STFU.

For me... I'm still biding my time. I've been single for 4.5 yrs after a 30yr marriage and I might not ever find who/what I want in this very red and religious state of OK but I'd rather having nothing than the wrong thing. Smile

Peace

Wow. I'm so sorry you were treated like that. What assholes.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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12-12-2015, 02:58 PM (This post was last modified: 12-12-2015 03:03 PM by Nurse.)
RE: Dating as an Atheist
They're out there.

I'm dating an atheist from middle of nowhere Kentucky that I met in Nashville. Before him an atheist from Alabama. Also hooked up with an atheist from Alabama. Almost started dating another atheist from Vermont. That's just this year, I don't know a lot of people, and I live in one of the most conservative cities in the US. But that's the catch - I live in a big city. If you are in a small town the options are already limited. Plus, any atheist ladies are possibly closeted. I can count on one hand the number of people from my hometown in Alabama that know I'm an atheist. Could be a matter of move or be lonely or change your persepective.

What's wrong with finding someone you like that's an open minded individual that you could deconvert? I was a Christian once. Doesn't mean I was or am a dumbass or someone unworthy of respect.
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12-12-2015, 03:50 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
Here are some atheist dating tips from Patheos' atheist channel.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyath...ist-women/

If you're in Idaho get a passport and drive across the border up to Canada. There are more atheists up there and likely more women atheists too. Smile

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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12-12-2015, 05:27 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
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12-12-2015, 05:31 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist
(12-12-2015 02:29 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  [quote='zellerscrossing' pid='914600' dateline='1449946951']

Now, I want to address something else you posted, "As an introvert and someone that isn't as hot as Thor, I really struggle with dating." Then you turned right around and posted this, "PS: If your a hot lady atheist living in Idaho - hit me up Big Grin"

I can't begin to tell you what kind of cringe worthy statement that is. Seriously!!!

Yeah, that was a joke but I removed it since it obviously wasn't very funny
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12-12-2015, 05:40 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist

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12-12-2015, 05:42 PM
RE: Dating as an Atheist

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