Dating in the theocratic republic of America
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28-08-2016, 12:10 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
I couldn't date a theist. Just couldn't. Doesn't matter how moderate they were, either. And I couldn't date a guy who... oh, I don't know the correct term for this. Casual christian? Un-thinking atheist?

In the case of the casual christian, the types who either don't go to church or ever talk about god or anything but if something tragic comes up in their lives, they jump head first into the faith again. Or all of a sudden they're really serious about their faith. Facepalm Case in point my ex-husband who never went to church with me and wasn't by any appearances a serious, on-fire christian and so I thought I might be okay telling him I was an atheist but lo and behold all of a sudden that shit meant something to him. Dodgy That's the kind of christian I mean. Doesn't matter how moderate or casual they seem, when shit hits the fan they go running back to jeebus and, in my area, fundamentalism.

Or in the case of the "un-thinking" atheist, someone who just hasn't really thought about god or religion before and haven't really debunked the god claim or anything like that - someone where it just isn't that big a deal in their lives until again, they get hit with something bad in their lives and because they've been immersed in a christian (or whatever else) culture, they think well maybe I need some of that, too.

No. I need a guy who has really sat down and thought about the god claim and weighed everything and found it lacking and has rejected that bullshit. Which, thankfully, I have.

There is just no way I could date a theist - I've very little respect for them, for one. And I couldn't even date a guy who doesn't care enough to look into the theist claims, either, because there is the risk he could be drawn into it when something bad happens in his life (and bad things happen to everyone). I've seen it happen too many times.

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28-08-2016, 12:36 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 12:10 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  There is just no way I could date a theist - I've very little respect for them, for one.

Case in point, Thumpalumpacus.

Just teasing, EA. I'm sure you didn't mean me personally. If you will please excuse me now, I have something in my eye.
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28-08-2016, 12:50 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 12:36 PM)Aliza Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 12:10 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  There is just no way I could date a theist - I've very little respect for them, for one.

Case in point, Thumpalumpacus.

Just teasing, EA. I'm sure you didn't mean me personally. If you will please excuse me now, I have something in my eye.

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28-08-2016, 01:10 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
It should be known that I am still working through a lot of anger over my religious upbringing. It has fucked me up in so many ways - I am constantly discovering new things that I have to work on "deprogramming" myself out of. So yeah, it's a little difficult to respect religious people who constantly say that the damaging bullshit they feed to young and impressionable children is good for them. I've even had people here (in Texas, irl, not on the forum) who hold no personal belief in a god still think it's good to send their kids to church because kids need to believe there is an "eye in the sky" to keep them moral.

There are atheists who are okay with moderate christians and can see the good they do but even then I can't see anything but the damage that is done. Fundamentalists follow their religion more closely than any moderate and yet moderates will say that "that's not real christianity" or "that's not what jesus would have us do" etc. but I'm sorry, if the folks following your religious book the most closely aren't representative of what you believe, then the core of your religion is shitty and you should get rid of it.* I should have gotten rid of it a lot sooner than I did. But I was too stupid to do so.

People can be good w/o the god shite. People can be inspired to generosity quite easily. We as a species don't need religion anymore (and maybe we never did, I don't know).

*I fully admit that I am hypocritical when it comes to this. For example, I consider myself a feminist. I do not think I should have to abandon the label because there are some crazy batwing feminists out there. Why should I? And so I think probably moderate christians think well why should I abandon the label christian just because there's some fundie wackadoodles out there? But where being hypocritical normally bothers the fuck out of me, in this case it doesn't. But I know it is because of the deep anger and hurt I have over this subject.

ETA: And it should be known that yes, I am not speaking of anyone here at the forum when I speak of religious people. I am talking primarily about the many fundamentalist derps who live in my state.

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28-08-2016, 02:12 PM (This post was last modified: 28-08-2016 02:45 PM by Aliza.)
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 01:10 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  It should be known that I am still working through a lot of anger over my religious upbringing. It has fucked me up in so many ways - I am constantly discovering new things that I have to work on "deprogramming" myself out of. So yeah, it's a little difficult to respect religious people who constantly say that the damaging bullshit they feed to young and impressionable children is good for them. I've even had people here (in Texas, irl, not on the forum) who hold no personal belief in a god still think it's good to send their kids to church because kids need to believe there is an "eye in the sky" to keep them moral.

There are atheists who are okay with moderate christians and can see the good they do but even then I can't see anything but the damage that is done. Fundamentalists follow their religion more closely than any moderate and yet moderates will say that "that's not real christianity" or "that's not what jesus would have us do" etc. but I'm sorry, if the folks following your religious book the most closely aren't representative of what you believe, then the core of your religion is shitty and you should get rid of it.* I should have gotten rid of it a lot sooner than I did. But I was too stupid to do so.

People can be good w/o the god shite. People can be inspired to generosity quite easily. We as a species don't need religion anymore (and maybe we never did, I don't know).

*I fully admit that I am hypocritical when it comes to this. For example, I consider myself a feminist. I do not think I should have to abandon the label because there are some crazy batwing feminists out there. Why should I? And so I think probably moderate christians think well why should I abandon the label christian just because there's some fundie wackadoodles out there? But where being hypocritical normally bothers the fuck out of me, in this case it doesn't. But I know it is because of the deep anger and hurt I have over this subject.

ETA: And it should be known that yes, I am not speaking of anyone here at the forum when I speak of religious people. I am talking primarily about the many fundamentalist derps who live in my state.

Yeah, I get it. You shouldn't have to date anyone who doesn't fit the bill. It's one thing to respect another person as a friend, co-worker or neighbor and it's another thing to invite that person to share the most intimate parts of your personality with.

I don't care how much I respect or like a guy... even if he's Jewish (or half-Jewish), if he puts up a Christmas tree, roasts chestnuts over an open fire and sends greeting cards to every person he's ever known, then this guy isn't the right fit for me.
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28-08-2016, 04:06 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 11:54 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  What is this thing you call "dating"?

For you, it's when the Carbon-14 atoms mingle with the Carbon-13 atoms. Tongue
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28-08-2016, 04:32 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
My love life has sucked my whole life regardless of religious, political, or even marital status Tongue

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28-08-2016, 04:51 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 11:52 AM)Aliza Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 11:33 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I'm heartbroken. Weeping

Right! Because the atheist community is falling over backwards to date theists. Tongue

Like i said above, I don't have a problem with it, so long she's got her head on straight and her heart in the right place Wink
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28-08-2016, 05:31 PM (This post was last modified: 28-08-2016 05:41 PM by Losty.)
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
I'm trying to think if I've ever met an atheist irl...Consider

I don't think I have

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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28-08-2016, 05:39 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 08:49 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 08:11 AM)Aliza Wrote:  I've dated a few religious guys, but I wasn't raised religious so I find strict observance to be tedious and annoying. I prefer to be the religious one and set the tone for religion in my relationships. The sweet spot is a guy who is culturally Jewish with a strong respect for Judaism, but who is not necessarily a theist. Someone who can appreciate doing the holidays, but otherwise lives a secular lifestyle. Most secular Jews are atheist, agnostic, or deist, so that tends to be the type of guy I cleave toward.

Have you ever dated a gentile, or whatever we non-Jews are called? (I don't know if gentile is the correct word)

I almost forgot about someone! I had met a guy online who wasn't Jewish and I didn't feel that bizarre cultural divide with him. At the time that we were chatting, I did consider giving him a shot but we ended up going our separate ways.
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