Dating in the theocratic republic of America
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28-08-2016, 05:58 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 01:10 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  It should be known that I am still working through a lot of anger over my religious upbringing. It has fucked me up in so many ways - I am constantly discovering new things that I have to work on "deprogramming" myself out of. So yeah, it's a little difficult to respect religious people who constantly say that the damaging bullshit they feed to young and impressionable children is good for them. I've even had people here (in Texas, irl, not on the forum) who hold no personal belief in a god still think it's good to send their kids to church because kids need to believe there is an "eye in the sky" to keep them moral.

There are atheists who are okay with moderate christians and can see the good they do but even then I can't see anything but the damage that is done. Fundamentalists follow their religion more closely than any moderate and yet moderates will say that "that's not real christianity" or "that's not what jesus would have us do" etc. but I'm sorry, if the folks following your religious book the most closely aren't representative of what you believe, then the core of your religion is shitty and you should get rid of it.* I should have gotten rid of it a lot sooner than I did. But I was too stupid to do so.

People can be good w/o the god shite. People can be inspired to generosity quite easily. We as a species don't need religion anymore (and maybe we never did, I don't know).

*I fully admit that I am hypocritical when it comes to this. For example, I consider myself a feminist. I do not think I should have to abandon the label because there are some crazy batwing feminists out there. Why should I? And so I think probably moderate christians think well why should I abandon the label christian just because there's some fundie wackadoodles out there? But where being hypocritical normally bothers the fuck out of me, in this case it doesn't. But I know it is because of the deep anger and hurt I have over this subject.

ETA: And it should be known that yes, I am not speaking of anyone here at the forum when I speak of religious people. I am talking primarily about the many fundamentalist derps who live in my state.
I'm not so much angry at religion. When I was a Christian I was very angry at it. I don't want to go back anywhere near it. My views, lifestyle everything would clash with a christian man's. Never going to work out.

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28-08-2016, 08:19 PM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 04:51 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 11:52 AM)Aliza Wrote:  Right! Because the atheist community is falling over backwards to date theists. Tongue

Like i said above, I don't have a problem with it, so long she's got her head on straight and her heart in the right place Wink
Ditto. The only atheist I've dated, actually didn't tell me she was one when we were dating, out of fear I'd not date an atheist.

(28-08-2016 05:31 PM)Losty Wrote:  I'm trying to think if I've ever met an atheist irl...Consider

I don't think I have
Wow...sorry it's just weird to see posts like this. My best friend irl is an atheist, his girlfriend is one, students I've had have been atheists, etc.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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29-08-2016, 07:40 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 11:52 AM)Aliza Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 11:33 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I'm heartbroken. Weeping

Right! Because the atheist community is falling over backwards to date theists. Tongue

If they are good looking........... oh yeah. Don't underestimate the power of boners.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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29-08-2016, 07:48 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 04:06 PM)Fireball Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 11:54 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  What is this thing you call "dating"?

For you, it's when the Carbon-14 atoms mingle with the Carbon-13 atoms. Tongue

Who would girly be in this analogy? Since 14C changes to another atom via beta decay, you are basically saying he is trans if he is the 14C. If the males are the 13C, that would be the world's worst sausage party with an ever shrinking female population. Either way, girly is an exceptionally rare specimen.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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29-08-2016, 07:52 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 08:19 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 05:31 PM)Losty Wrote:  I'm trying to think if I've ever met an atheist irl...Consider

I don't think I have
Wow...sorry it's just weird to see posts like this. My best friend irl is an atheist, his girlfriend is one, students I've had have been atheists, etc.

I have never met one irl either. As far as I am aware, I am the only one on the planet outside the internet. It can be a lonely road to be on.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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29-08-2016, 08:21 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(29-08-2016 07:48 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 04:06 PM)Fireball Wrote:  For you, it's when the Carbon-14 atoms mingle with the Carbon-13 atoms. Tongue

Who would girly be in this analogy? Since 14C changes to another atom via beta decay, you are basically saying he is trans if he is the 14C. If the males are the 13C, that would be the world's worst sausage party with an ever shrinking female population. Either way, girly is an exceptionally rare specimen.

I meant carbon dating for the old man. Tongue
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29-08-2016, 08:24 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 12:10 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I couldn't date a theist. Just couldn't. Doesn't matter how moderate they were, either. And I couldn't date a guy who... oh, I don't know the correct term for this. Casual christian? Un-thinking atheist?

In the case of the casual christian, the types who either don't go to church or ever talk about god or anything but if something tragic comes up in their lives, they jump head first into the faith again. Or all of a sudden they're really serious about their faith. Facepalm Case in point my ex-husband who never went to church with me and wasn't by any appearances a serious, on-fire christian and so I thought I might be okay telling him I was an atheist but lo and behold all of a sudden that shit meant something to him. Dodgy That's the kind of christian I mean. Doesn't matter how moderate or casual they seem, when shit hits the fan they go running back to jeebus and, in my area, fundamentalism.

Or in the case of the "un-thinking" atheist, someone who just hasn't really thought about god or religion before and haven't really debunked the god claim or anything like that - someone where it just isn't that big a deal in their lives until again, they get hit with something bad in their lives and because they've been immersed in a christian (or whatever else) culture, they think well maybe I need some of that, too.

No. I need a guy who has really sat down and thought about the god claim and weighed everything and found it lacking and has rejected that bullshit. Which, thankfully, I have.

There is just no way I could date a theist - I've very little respect for them, for one. And I couldn't even date a guy who doesn't care enough to look into the theist claims, either, because there is the risk he could be drawn into it when something bad happens in his life (and bad things happen to everyone). I've seen it happen too many times.

Get out of my head EA! If you changed the gender your post this is exactly how I think. I would have never thought of the un-thinking atheist as a problem but now that you bring it up I can and do. Thumbsup

The only difference is the respect part. It has taken me years to get beyond the anger and now realize that for many they are just as much a victim of religious upbringing as I was. Look at it this way, does the current Escape Artist look back at the young EA and feel she is unworthy of respect OR instead think she was caught in the circumstances of her childhood and needs the opportunity to break away?

Anyway, if I was single I’d be looking for a thinking atheist as well, I simply don’t have the desire nor patience to deal with that aspect of someone’s makeup. I’d look for a person who had already broken the chains of religious doctrine through deep thought and self introspection.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
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29-08-2016, 08:53 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(29-08-2016 07:52 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 08:19 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  Wow...sorry it's just weird to see posts like this. My best friend irl is an atheist, his girlfriend is one, students I've had have been atheists, etc.

I have never met one irl either. As far as I am aware, I am the only one on the planet outside the internet. It can be a lonely road to be on.

Almost every city I have lived in (over the size of, say, 100K residents or with a local university) has had an atheist or humanist group. I met some truly amazing people at those meetings. It might be worth looking into.

We'll still be here when you wanna go slumming on the internet, of course. Big Grin

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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29-08-2016, 09:04 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(28-08-2016 08:11 AM)Aliza Wrote:  I've dated a few religious guys, but I wasn't raised religious so I find strict observance to be tedious and annoying. I prefer to be the religious one and set the tone for religion in my relationships. The sweet spot is a guy who is culturally Jewish with a strong respect for Judaism, but who is not necessarily a theist. Someone who can appreciate doing the holidays, but otherwise lives a secular lifestyle. Most secular Jews are atheist, agnostic, or deist, so that tends to be the type of guy I cleave toward.

I dated a Jewish guy when I was in college. He was brilliant, fun.......and rich Drooling !!
But then I found out he was engaged to another girl who looked just like me. She was off studying zoology in another city so I didn't know until one of his friends told me about the relationship. Maybe he was thinking that if I looked so much like his fiance then it wasn't real cheating....or something like that. Rolleyes

He was a secular Jew. I think he was an atheist or at least an agnostic.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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29-08-2016, 09:10 AM
RE: Dating in the theocratic republic of America
(29-08-2016 09:04 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(28-08-2016 08:11 AM)Aliza Wrote:  I've dated a few religious guys, but I wasn't raised religious so I find strict observance to be tedious and annoying. I prefer to be the religious one and set the tone for religion in my relationships. The sweet spot is a guy who is culturally Jewish with a strong respect for Judaism, but who is not necessarily a theist. Someone who can appreciate doing the holidays, but otherwise lives a secular lifestyle. Most secular Jews are atheist, agnostic, or deist, so that tends to be the type of guy I cleave toward.

I dated a Jewish guy when I was in college. He was brilliant, fun.......and rich Drooling !!
But then I found out he was engaged to another girl who looked just like me. She was off studying zoology in another city so I didn't know until one of his friends told me about the relationship. Maybe he was thinking that if I looked so much like his fiance then it wasn't real cheating....or something like that. Rolleyes

He was a secular Jew. I think he was an atheist or at least an agnostic.

What an asshole. Dodgy

Just playing the numbers game, he was probably atheist or agnostic, as you suspect. The vast majority of Jews are somewhere on that spectrum.
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