De-Conversion Story (continuing)
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14-06-2016, 07:09 AM (This post was last modified: 14-06-2016 04:03 PM by SkepticalDaniel.)
De-Conversion, Part 5: Studying the KJV Bible
It was a day I would not forget, the day I discovered that dreaded website. One of the first things that I read on that site was that the NIV Bible, as well as all modern day Bibles were corrupted, and that the only true Bible was the Authorized 1611 King James Version. This wasn't a problem, though, as I already had two King James Bibles in my possession. After discovering the site, I began to delve deeper into the King James Bible. Of course, the archaic language was a little difficult to read, at first, but I eventually got the hang of it. I'll go so far to admit that I even enjoyed reading the King James Bible, in fact, the KJV that I received as an 18th birthday present from my Papaw is still one of my most prized possessions to this day. My favorite thing in the entire KJV was from the 3rd Psalm of David:

Quote:
"Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly."

-Psalm 3:7

With that verse in mind, it gave me great comfort to know that God would be on my side, no matter what, and I would never have anything to fear... or did I?

It wasn't long until after I dived deeper into the KJV, that I began to notice some serious problems. The biggest one being the issue of Soul-winning. For those reading this who've never heard of the term before, or who've never been a Christian, soul-winning is a practice that is popular amongst the IFB churches. How it works is that people from an IFB church will go around busy neighborhoods, knock on the doors of houses, and speak to residents about the Bible. One question that they'll ask is: "If you died tomorrow, are you 100% sure that you'll be going to Heaven?" afterwards, they'll show them the Bible passages about judgement and the "wages of sin is death" and "all have come short", as well as John 3:16, etc. After they're done talking to the resident, they'll give away a King James Bible as a free gift, in hopes that the person will have become indoctrinated (for more insight on how this practice is done, check out this video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXMA4xOS5BY

It was videos like this that really got me motivated into wanting to witness the gospel to the whole world. I practiced what I would say if I needed to go on a soul-winning trip over and over again, ready to do whatever it took. There was one person who I in particular, really wanted to save, and that was the girl I'd met my junior year of High School. The Terror of God was upon me, as I prayed over and over again for her salvation, but to no avail. Even worse, my parents were starting to get very concerned about me constantly reading the KJV, and my somewhat overzealous behavior regarding alcohol and other things. Adding insult to injury was also the massive amounts of paranoia regarding the End Times and the New World Order. All throughout my junior and senior year of High School, I fell into depression. The plight of billions of people (most of whom that I knew) burning in Hell forever became almost unbearable. I would find myself crying in the night, praying to God over and over and OVER again to watch the people whom I loved and take care of them, and he seemed to. I simply couldn't get the horrible details from that website out of my mind, and I constantly kept going back to it for support, each time becoming sicker and sicker. By far the most frightening aspect of it all was the very real seeming threat of Hell, not just one the one site, but on one like this, too: [url="http://www.av1611.org/hell.html"]http://www.av1611.org/hell.html[/url], these sites taught that Hell was literally at the center of the Earth. Evidence they provided for this idea (if you could call it that) was the fact that Earth was molten underneath, the discovery of the Earth's core in 1936, snip it's from National Geographic magazines which contained excerpts such as "...volcanoes are more like Hell than anyone realizes...", and a story about a team of Russian geologists drilling a hole in remote Siberia and recording the screams of tormented souls on a heat-resistant microphone (which I later found out was a proven hoax, for more information on that matter, check out what Brian Dunning from skeptoid.com has to say: [url="https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4307"]https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4307[/url]). Being very naive at the time, I took everything these people said at face-value. Worse, was their ideas about female modesty, which crept constantly into my mind and slowly turned me into a neurotic misogynist. With all this depression, there would be no way possible for me to be joyful and save souls, and on top of that, I began to seriously doubt that I was going to Heaven. I was broken, empty, isolated and lonely. I wanted so badly to escape from this curse, but I couldn't, because it would be Apostasy, and besides, the evidence provided by these people was too overwhelming. The Bible contained many fulfilled prophecies, after all, it agreed with science, history and archaeology, and was written over a period of 1,500 years by 40 different authors in 3 different continents with a clear, consistent, non-contradictory message, so I would've been a fool not to believe any of it. But where was all this depression coming from? I decided I would need to study more and more to understand, so I went to the Old Testament, and found some troubling information:

Quote:
Judges 9:23 "Then God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the men of Shechem; and the men of Shechem dealt treacherously with Abimelech..."

That's right, you read it correctly! The all-good God of the Bible sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the men of Shechem, and this isn't the only occasion of this, either:

Quote:
1 Samuel 16:14-16 "But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him. And Saul's servants said unto him, Behold now, an evil spirit from God troubleth thee. Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well."

And if you thought that was bad, then you haven't seen anything yet!

Quote:
Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things."

Yes, by his own admission the God of the Bible declares that he is the creator of both Good and Evil. "How could this be?" I thought, "God isn't the author of evil, Satan is!"

By the time my senior year came to a close, I'd thought I'd seen the worst of it... I was wrong!
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02-07-2016, 12:19 PM
De-Conversion, Part 6: Spiritual Limbo Pt. 1
Senior year came, I was 18 years old at the time, and in a state of confusion. Was the King James Bible really the only Bible? Was a really saved? Could I be able to lead my fellow classmates towards Christ? These thoughts tore at my conscience. I'd already failed the previous year, and I was so determined not to fail again; I couldn't fail this time!

It was time to do some more KJV Bible studying, so that I could truly understand what was in there, and I started with the Old Testament. I was on the 11th chapter of the book of Leviticus, at the point where the Israelites where given a list of fowls that they couldn't eat (for those who might be interested, a fowl is a term for a bird for human consumption, the word in the original Hebrew is Strong's H5775 which means "a bird (as covered with feathers, or rather as covering with wings)", bare this in mind):

Quote:Leviticus 11:13-19 "And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they arean abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray, And the vulture, and the kite after his kind; Every raven after his kind; And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind, And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl, And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle, And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat."


Quote:Deuteronomy 14:11-18 "Of all clean birds ye shall eat. But these are they of which ye shall not eat: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray, And the glede, and the kite, and the vulture after his kind, And every raven after his kind, And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind, The little owl, and the great owl, and the swan, And the pelican, and the gier eagle, and the cormorant, And the stork, and the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat."


Yes, that's right! Both those passages classify the bat as being a bird. But how could this be? The Bible was the inspired, inerrant, non-contradictory Word of the Living God. Surely the God who inspired this would've known that the bat - a creature that he created - is a flying mammal, would we? I was panicked. There had to be some explanation for this... and I thought of one, the ancient Hebrews simply didn't have the classification system that we have no in the modern world, so it was correct for them to say that the bat was a bird - No! That was ridiculous. I simply decided to let that one go and study even further, this time in the latter book of Deuteronomy, because the 22nd chapter dealt with a topic of female modesty, which was a huge OCD topic.

Quote:Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so areabomination unto the LORD thy God."


This verse above was typically used by the IFB to condemn women wearing pants to Hell. In fact, I'd recently read an article on the subject during my senior year that had caused a great amount of distress, as I knew many professed Christian girls at my high school who wore pants and were "immodest" who would most certainly be going to Hell. I had to do something! I prayed constantly, but to no avail. Nevertheless, I continued to explore the 22nd chapter, and it got stranger.

Quote:Deuteronomy 22:6-11 "If a bird's nest chance to be before thee in the way in any tree, or on the ground, whether they be young ones, or eggs, and the dam sitting upon the young, or upon the eggs, thou shalt not take the dam with the young: But thou shalt in any wise let the dam go, and take the young to thee; that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest prolong thy days. When thou buildest a new house, then thou shalt make a battlement for thy roof, that thou bring not blood upon thine house, if any man fall from thence. Thou shalt not sow thy vineyard with divers seeds: lest the fruit of thy seed which thou hast sown, and the fruit of thy vineyard, be defiled. Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together. Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together."


These laws seemed absurd! Why would a God care about people wearing diverse fabrics? "This is only Mosaic Law," I told myself, "everything God says has its place!" So, I continued reading the chapter, and it went from silly, to downright disturbing...

Quote:Deuteronomy 22:28-29 "If a man find a damsel that isa virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days."


I couldn't believe what I'd just read. "Maybe it was just talking about consensual sex," I told myself, so like the other parts, I just let it slide. Unfortunately, that wasn't the worst of it:

Quote:Exodus 21:20-21 "And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money."


Quote:Leviticus 25:44-46 "Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids. Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession. And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour."


It was like a stab in the chest! The Bible, the very book that I loved and cherished, actually condoned slavery. This couldn't be possible! Even worse, it also supported rape-marriages:

Quote:Deuteronomy 22:28-29 "If a man find a damsel that isa virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days."


I didn't want to believe it. "Maybe it was consensual sex, maybe it was indentured servitude, and maybe Exodus 21 was talking about an accidental death!" I rationalized, and moved on. The only thing that I wanted to focus on was studying the Bible and learning new ways to save souls, as I had the basic Soul-Winning outline figured out:

1. The wages of Sin is Death (Ezekiel 18:20, Romans 6:23)
2. The price of Sin is Hell (Revelation 21:8)
3. Christ died for those who believe in him (John 3:16)
4. Believe in Jesus and you'll be saved (Romans 10:9)

Easy plan... I suppose, all I simply needed to do in my spare time was knock on as many doors as I could and share the gospel. Another serious issue was the issue of contemporary Christian music, which I at first, didn't really seem to mind, but after being naively suckered into the KJV-only mindset, began to fear. I certainly couldn't trust the Methodist church I was going to, since they didn't use the KJV and had "worldly" music. My life was in absolute chaos. At some point during my senior year, a thought entered my head: Are you really doing this because you love God, or are you doing this because you're afraid of being punished? "Oh crap," I said to myself, "talk about hitting me where it hurts!" So, I asked God to examine me (Psalm 26:2), but with no avail. The year continued, with me constantly browsing those websites, and me getting even sicker and sicker, until I eventually came across compelling evidence that the one man who ran that site that is discovered was a sex offender: http://davidjstewartexposed.blogspot.com/?m=1

My world fell apart again. If I couldn't trust David J. Stewart, then who could I trust? The Apostle Peter said in Acts 5:29 that we ought to obey God rather than men, but how could I obey a God when I couldn't understand what he wanted? Could it be possible that I couldn't understand because I was a natural man laking discernment (1 Corinthians 2:14)? The prospect was becoming too frightening to stand. I was broken and no use to the body of Christ at that point, and Jesus did say that he would spit lukewarm believers out of his mouth (Revelation 3:16), and I was certain he was going to do the same to me, and worst of all, I'd be given over to what the Bible calls a "reprobate mind".

Quote:Romans 1:28-32 "And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."


Was that going to happen to me? I prayed for it not to, but it soon felt hopeless, since God doesn't hear sinners (John 9:31).
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02-07-2016, 12:52 PM
RE: De-Conversion Story (continuing)
Threads merged


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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10-08-2016, 08:12 PM
RE: De-Conversion Story (continuing)
Feel you man; recovering CoC guy here.
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