Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
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18-01-2016, 10:03 AM
Sad Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
Hi people!
I got a little problem, 3 years ago, when I decided to be atheist, was the same time that my parents start going to church, and now they're really really religious, extremly, and their behavior has changed.Sad

Before my father was a science man, he told me about evolution and Big bang, and I'm sure that without him, I never would have became atheist. But now is sad to look at him, now he believe in Creationism, Adan y Eva. They say that start going the church was the best thing that would happen, but for me, and for my 15 years old brother was the opposite thing.

They obligate me to go to Church every Saturday Night (come on, it's Saturday, at night! and I'm in the church) and we make some prays the Sundays in the morning for almost 1 hour. And they are always asking me for get into a community and share time with the other "siblings" the Tuesdays and Thursday. I feel so bad about myself for having to pretend I like it.

It's extremely sad because I love them, but I hate the thing they have became, and probably I couldn't do nothing for fix it.Sadcryface2

I think the best option is to wait until I leave home and go make my own life, but that will happen in some years when I finish the university. I don't know if I can stand more time.

So, what do you think, Should I tell them? Should I wait?
And, Do your parents know you're atheist? How they react to it?

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." Buddha
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18-01-2016, 10:22 AM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
(18-01-2016 10:03 AM)Rush Wrote:  Hi people!
I got a little problem, 3 years ago, when I decided to be atheist, was the same time that my parents start going to church, and now they're really really religious, extremely, and their behavior has changed.Sad

Before my father was a science man, he told me about evolution and Big bang, and I'm sure that without him, I never would have became atheist. But now is sad to look at him, now he believe in Creationism, Adan y Eva. They say that start going the church was the best thing that would happen, but for me, and for my 15 years old brother was the opposite thing.

They obligate me to go to Church every Saturday Night (come on, it's Saturday, at night! and I'm in the church) and we make some prays the Sundays in the morning for almost 1 hour. And they are always asking me for get into a community and share time with the other "siblings" the Tuesdays and Thursday. I feel so bad about myself for having to pretend I like it.

It's extremely sad because I love them, but I hate the thing they have became, and probably I couldn't do nothing for fix it.Sadcryface2

I think the best option is to wait until I leave home and go make my own life, but that will happen in some years when I finish the university. I don't know if I can stand more time.

So, what do you think, Should I tell them? Should I wait?
And, Do your parents know you're atheist? How they react to it?

You need to just tell them that you want nothing to do with "Their" religion. Since this is obvious something new to both of them, your case is not the same as kids who grew up in extremely religious houses. I would also suggest telling your father exactly what you think of his new found belief in creationism without censoring yourself and tell that that you want no part of it and will not allow them to force you to be a part of it.

It's something new that they have grown into so they are not as hopeless as parents who made you grow up with it like so many others. If that was the case than I would suggest bare with it, but it is not. It is like when a parent develops a drug habit. They get into it you have an intervention or tell them you want no part of that in your life, you grow up with druggy parents and then you just move out when you are old enough...same basic concept really. Just tell them no.


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18-01-2016, 11:03 AM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
(18-01-2016 10:22 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  
(18-01-2016 10:03 AM)Rush Wrote:  Hi people!
I got a little problem, 3 years ago, when I decided to be atheist, was the same time that my parents start going to church, and now they're really really religious, extremely, and their behavior has changed.Sad

Before my father was a science man, he told me about evolution and Big bang, and I'm sure that without him, I never would have became atheist. But now is sad to look at him, now he believe in Creationism, Adan y Eva. They say that start going the church was the best thing that would happen, but for me, and for my 15 years old brother was the opposite thing.

They obligate me to go to Church every Saturday Night (come on, it's Saturday, at night! and I'm in the church) and we make some prays the Sundays in the morning for almost 1 hour. And they are always asking me for get into a community and share time with the other "siblings" the Tuesdays and Thursday. I feel so bad about myself for having to pretend I like it.

It's extremely sad because I love them, but I hate the thing they have became, and probably I couldn't do nothing for fix it.Sadcryface2

I think the best option is to wait until I leave home and go make my own life, but that will happen in some years when I finish the university. I don't know if I can stand more time.

So, what do you think, Should I tell them? Should I wait?
And, Do your parents know you're atheist? How they react to it?

You need to just tell them that you want nothing to do with "Their" religion. Since this is obvious something new to both of them, your case is not the same as kids who grew up in extremely religious houses. I would also suggest telling your father exactly what you think of his new found belief in creationism without censoring yourself and tell that that you want no part of it and will not allow them to force you to be a part of it.

It's something new that they have grown into so they are not as hopeless as parents who made you grow up with it like so many others. If that was the case than I would suggest bare with it, but it is not. It is like when a parent develops a drug habit. They get into it you have an intervention or tell them you want no part of that in your life, you grow up with druggy parents and then you just move out when you are old enough...same basic concept really. Just tell them no.


That is the worst, my parents have a short time going to church, but they're so into it that is like they was going to church the entire life. They are taking it seriously, I don't know what would happen if I say them. And, if they start to forcing me to go more often to church? Or try to punish me? I'll live in the hell.

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." Buddha
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19-01-2016, 11:11 AM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
I personally would wait until you move out to tell your parents. I told my mom, but I was also out on my own. She wasn't happy about it and still acts as though I'm a believer. I've never really been one to go with the flow, so I think she looks at it like a phase. My advice would be to deal with things as best you can while you're living at home and surround yourself with other atheists--like TTA--so you can have an outlet away from all of the religious bs every once in awhile. I would look at going to church as going to a book club--look at the Bible as literature--because that is what it is. It's no different from any other stories or poems you would read in school. I would also suggest getting a good Bible commentary (one written by scholars without the woo). The Bible is actually quite interesting when you learn the background behind the people who wrote it.
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19-01-2016, 11:16 AM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
(18-01-2016 10:03 AM)Rush Wrote:  Hi people!
I got a little problem, 3 years ago, when I decided to be atheist, was the same time that my parents start going to church, and now they're really really religious, extremly, and their behavior has changed.Sad

Before my father was a science man, he told me about evolution and Big bang, and I'm sure that without him, I never would have became atheist. But now is sad to look at him, now he believe in Creationism, Adan y Eva. They say that start going the church was the best thing that would happen, but for me, and for my 15 years old brother was the opposite thing.

They obligate me to go to Church every Saturday Night (come on, it's Saturday, at night! and I'm in the church) and we make some prays the Sundays in the morning for almost 1 hour. And they are always asking me for get into a community and share time with the other "siblings" the Tuesdays and Thursday. I feel so bad about myself for having to pretend I like it.

It's extremely sad because I love them, but I hate the thing they have became, and probably I couldn't do nothing for fix it.Sadcryface2

I think the best option is to wait until I leave home and go make my own life, but that will happen in some years when I finish the university. I don't know if I can stand more time.

So, what do you think, Should I tell them? Should I wait?
And, Do your parents know you're atheist? How they react to it?

Yes. Otherwise you are a ptahetic weakling.

My dad is a Catholic. I told him "shut fuck up about your god. I am an atheist." He never mentioned god again.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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19-01-2016, 12:49 PM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
You don't have to do anything before you feel you're ready to. In some religious families a child announcing they're atheist is disappointing, but accepted. In other families the reaction goes much farther. You know your family best. If you think they'll react by withdrawing support or throwing you out of the house or trying to force you to convert, wait until you're independent.

I became an atheist in college, by which time I was living on my own. My parents are religious and took the news pretty badly. I think my father would have made my life pretty difficult if we had still been living in the same house.
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19-01-2016, 12:58 PM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
Depending on your relationship, don't make a big deal about this while dependent on your parents. When they hold power over you, they can do some effed up things to you if you are doing/believing something that they disagree with.

And I wonder if you parents got pulled into a particularly culty sect of Christianity? All sects are cults...but the ones who try to get more of your time, money, loyalty, and try to get you to participate in more rituals are particularly cultish. Even adults can get taken advantage of, and religion is kind of the master of the craft when it comes to that.

Anyways, I hope they are doing okay, and good luck you.

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19-01-2016, 05:39 PM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
(19-01-2016 11:11 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I personally would wait until you move out to tell your parents. I told my mom, but I was also out on my own. She wasn't happy about it and still acts as though I'm a believer. I've never really been one to go with the flow, so I think she looks at it like a phase. My advice would be to deal with things as best you can while you're living at home and surround yourself with other atheists--like TTA--so you can have an outlet away from all of the religious bs every once in awhile. I would look at going to church as going to a book club--look at the Bible as literature--because that is what it is. It's no different from any other stories or poems you would read in school. I would also suggest getting a good Bible commentary (one written by scholars without the woo). The Bible is actually quite interesting when you learn the background behind the people who wrote it.

Oh yes, some time ago I was reading the bible, trying to understand the beliefs of people who wrote it, and this is not the bad part (actually my parents make me read the bible nearly never). The problem is the rituals, the time wasted and it's sad to see what my parents became. But I'll follow your advice, and yes, I will surround myself with another atheists, and TTA go to help, thanks!

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." Buddha
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19-01-2016, 05:44 PM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
(19-01-2016 05:39 PM)Rush Wrote:  
(19-01-2016 11:11 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I personally would wait until you move out to tell your parents. I told my mom, but I was also out on my own. She wasn't happy about it and still acts as though I'm a believer. I've never really been one to go with the flow, so I think she looks at it like a phase. My advice would be to deal with things as best you can while you're living at home and surround yourself with other atheists--like TTA--so you can have an outlet away from all of the religious bs every once in awhile. I would look at going to church as going to a book club--look at the Bible as literature--because that is what it is. It's no different from any other stories or poems you would read in school. I would also suggest getting a good Bible commentary (one written by scholars without the woo). The Bible is actually quite interesting when you learn the background behind the people who wrote it.

Oh yes, some time ago I was reading the bible, trying to understand the beliefs of people who wrote it, and this is not the bad part (actually my parents make me read the bible nearly never). The problem is the rituals, the time wasted and it's sad to see what my parents became. But I'll follow your advice, and yes, I will surround myself with another atheists, and TTA go to help, thanks!

It is sad to watch others live their lives for religion, but ultimately, it is their choice. I try and respect people's right to believe what they want as long as they are not hateful or oppressive about it. Everyone gets through life differently. I would just view your parent's new desire for religion as their choice and something that is making them happy. The nice thing about atheism is that you get to carve your own path free from all of that. I would focus on that and let your parents do what they are doing as it is their choice and one they seem happy about.
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19-01-2016, 05:47 PM
RE: Deal with religious parents. Should I tell them?
(19-01-2016 12:58 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Depending on your relationship, don't make a big deal about this while dependent on your parents. When they hold power over you, they can do some effed up things to you if you are doing/believing something that they disagree with.

And I wonder if you parents got pulled into a particularly culty sect of Christianity? All sects are cults...but the ones who try to get more of your time, money, loyalty, and try to get you to participate in more rituals are particularly cultish. Even adults can get taken advantage of, and religion is kind of the master of the craft when it comes to that.

Anyways, I hope they are doing okay, and good luck you.

Yes, they are into something called "Neocatechumenal Way" a cult of the Catholic church who is extremely orthodox and conservative (they eat bread and drink wine in their ceremonies).

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." Buddha
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