Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
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28-05-2015, 05:42 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
Quote:I just hope I don't lose my sanity by that time.


That's why you come here to vent. And remember to clear your history.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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28-05-2015, 06:11 PM
Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(15-05-2015 12:04 PM)AtheistAl Wrote:  [hide]
Hi all, I just made an account immediately after hearing of this site.

I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and isolated. I grew up in a very religious Muslim household in the middle east, and we moved to the west back in 2008. Ever since my youth I had strong doubts about Islam and religion in general, and I have been an atheist in secret for the past two years.

I don't know what to do about my family. I am very tired of pretending to be a Muslim just to keep the home peaceful. There is no way to just sit my parents down and talk to them about respecting my religious rights - to them, Islam is the only right religion and anyone else (even other sects) are going to hell. One time, my younger brother was telling me about some of his doubts, and our father heard us, we had to call the police that night.

I am stuck at home and can't move out, I am poor and so is my family. Lately, my parents - especially my mother - is putting a lot of pressure on me to start practicing again. They know I have 'infidel and satanic' ideas about religion but I have not told them that I am an atheist, as I honestly fear for my safety, and I have two younger siblings (not adults) and I don't want my parents to take them back to the middle east so that "they do not get corrupted".

So what do I do? I feel absolutely miserable and trapped, I have no one to talk to about my feelings and I feel trapped. On top of it all, Ramadan is coming up and my parents get even more hyper religious during that month...

Any advice on how to best deal with the situation would be appreciated. Thank you. [/hide]

You can encourage them to fulfill their destiny by donning an explosive vest.
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28-05-2015, 08:23 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(28-05-2015 06:11 PM)KUSA Wrote:  You can encourage them to fulfill their destiny by donning an explosive vest.

That was an incredibly insensitive and crappy thing to say.
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28-05-2015, 09:12 PM
Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
I'm just trying to please Allah.
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30-05-2015, 08:11 AM (This post was last modified: 30-05-2015 08:16 AM by AtheistAl.)
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
viocjit, I am in Canada. And KUSA, that really was a crappy thing to say. There is a lot of crazy, fucked up shit in Islam but to say that every Muslim wants to wear a suicide vest and blow themselves up is absurd.
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31-05-2015, 02:36 PM (This post was last modified: 31-05-2015 02:46 PM by Free.)
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(15-05-2015 12:04 PM)AtheistAl Wrote:  Hi all, I just made an account immediately after hearing of this site.

I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and isolated. I grew up in a very religious Muslim household in the middle east, and we moved to the west back in 2008. Ever since my youth I had strong doubts about Islam and religion in general, and I have been an atheist in secret for the past two years.

I don't know what to do about my family. I am very tired of pretending to be a Muslim just to keep the home peaceful. There is no way to just sit my parents down and talk to them about respecting my religious rights - to them, Islam is the only right religion and anyone else (even other sects) are going to hell. One time, my younger brother was telling me about some of his doubts, and our father heard us, we had to call the police that night.

I am stuck at home and can't move out, I am poor and so is my family. Lately, my parents - especially my mother - is putting a lot of pressure on me to start practicing again. They know I have 'infidel and satanic' ideas about religion but I have not told them that I am an atheist, as I honestly fear for my safety, and I have two younger siblings (not adults) and I don't want my parents to take them back to the middle east so that "they do not get corrupted".

So what do I do? I feel absolutely miserable and trapped, I have no one to talk to about my feelings and I feel trapped. On top of it all, Ramadan is coming up and my parents get even more hyper religious during that month...

Any advice on how to best deal with the situation would be appreciated. Thank you.

Well since you have found this forum, and found us, you can now consider yourself free from religion, and no longer trapped.

Each one of us atheists here will be here for you. All of us understand what you are going through since many of the atheists here were once religious just like you were, and those of us who were not religious have a vast amount of experience with helping people such as yourself.

First things first. You need to get a good paying job and get out on your own. Even if you move into a place that you are sharing with strangers, it will be better for you. You need a place of your own away from your family.

Secondly, and this might be hard for you to do, but you will need to minimize contact with your family. I am not saying you need to completely abandon them, but rather keep all contact with them as brief as possible. This is important because you do not want to be speaking with them so much as the topic of religion will constantly pop up.

Thirdly, never tell them you are an atheist. It's not important at all that they know it. It will only hurt them, and endanger you. In fact, do not even discuss religion or atheism with them at all.

Finally, instead of talking about atheism with your younger brother, talk about scientific things, rational thinking, critical thinking, and learn all about logical fallacies and teach them to him. This will help him to reach his own state of atheism without you ever once bringing it up. If he's as smart as you are, he will figure it out and come live with you when he's older.

Take our advice. It's all good.

And welcome to TTA.

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01-06-2015, 09:00 AM (This post was last modified: 01-06-2015 09:04 AM by Zeff.)
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(15-05-2015 12:04 PM)AtheistAl Wrote:  Hi all, I just made an account immediately after hearing of this site.

I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and isolated. I grew up in a very religious Muslim household in the middle east, and we moved to the west back in 2008. Ever since my youth I had strong doubts about Islam and religion in general, and I have been an atheist in secret for the past two years.

I don't know what to do about my family. I am very tired of pretending to be a Muslim just to keep the home peaceful. .........

Any advice on how to best deal with the situation would be appreciated. Thank you.
I understand you are in the West now. There should be a group of non-believers of some sort near to you whom you can meet face to face. Just google these keywords:
Humanism, Atheism, Freethinker, Rationalism, Skeptics, Brights and Secularism - plus your country or town.
Philosophical and scientific groups are also likely to be well populated with freethinkers.
I would like to hear from you if you are in the UK, please. I have tried to contact people on this site....
http://www.atheismuk.com/2014/11/22/reli...mment-1626
who are experiencing similar problems.

It might help to get a few atheist friends around you. That shouldn't be a problem in the West.
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01-06-2015, 11:05 AM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
From the sound of how extreme your parents are, I think It would be best to do your best to wait until you are able to get a job that will get you your own home. Start by making friends or looking for someone you can share a multi bedroom apartment with. That way each o ya has a room of your own and you all split rent evenly.

Tell them once you have moved out.

You shouldn't be forced to practice your previous faith because they tell you too though, but if they ask you about what you believe then you might not have a choice but to just tell them if they ask you directly.

But really, if they actually love you, and you being their son is more important than what you believe then you should be OK. It is quite sad to see so many parents out there that care more about their children believing in the same thing they do then actually being their children and a part of their lives.


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04-06-2015, 11:58 AM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
I agree with the majority of the people, lay low. I don't know about your relationship with your family. Is this the only hot button? You seem to be helping your family financially. Is this by choice?

Google Chrome has an incognito mode that will not save web sights to your history.

I may also suggest "The Masked Arab" on Youtube he's a former Muslim that speaks out against it. You may enjoy him.

I has to admit my vast ignorance of the Qur'an, and the Muslim faith. I've only read a few passages. And my few friends that are Muslim don't want to really talk to me about it because they feel i'll only belittle them. (Which I just may) You my have an advantage the most potent weapon for destroying a holy book is usually the holy book itself. Contradictions are rampant threw most of them.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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30-07-2015, 01:01 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
[Image: 800px-Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.svg.png]

Here is your hierarchy of needs.
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