Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
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02-08-2015, 10:26 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(01-06-2015 11:05 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  Tell them once you have moved out.

Or not, depending on how you think they might react and whether they actually need to know. If you put sufficient physical distance between you and your family (for example, moving to a new city for a job) it might take most of the pressure off because you won't have someone in your home demanding that you pray or fast or go to the mosque.
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29-09-2015, 04:35 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(15-05-2015 12:04 PM)AtheistAl Wrote:  Hi all, I just made an account immediately after hearing of this site.

I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and isolated. I grew up in a very religious Muslim household in the middle east, and we moved to the west back in 2008. Ever since my youth I had strong doubts about Islam and religion in general, and I have been an atheist in secret for the past two years.

I don't know what to do about my family. I am very tired of pretending to be a Muslim just to keep the home peaceful. There is no way to just sit my parents down and talk to them about respecting my religious rights - to them, Islam is the only right religion and anyone else (even other sects) are going to hell. One time, my younger brother was telling me about some of his doubts, and our father heard us, we had to call the police that night.

I am stuck at home and can't move out, I am poor and so is my family. Lately, my parents - especially my mother - is putting a lot of pressure on me to start practicing again. They know I have 'infidel and satanic' ideas about religion but I have not told them that I am an atheist, as I honestly fear for my safety, and I have two younger siblings (not adults) and I don't want my parents to take them back to the middle east so that "they do not get corrupted".

So what do I do? I feel absolutely miserable and trapped, I have no one to talk to about my feelings and I feel trapped. On top of it all, Ramadan is coming up and my parents get even more hyper religious during that month...

Any advice on how to best deal with the situation would be appreciated. Thank you.
First sorry for your current deal and stay safe
2 try talking to you mom if you can
3 PORTECT YOUR SIBLINGS and if you have to call the polece I am from a very criston famly so I get what's happaning pls give us updates so we (or at least me)
can help you
Smile be safe
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07-12-2017, 10:42 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
Hey, I've gone through the exact same thing and my parents have just recently found out I'm not religious.

What I have found to have worked was to stand your ground but to be calm and gentle about your opinions. Acknowledge your parent's opinions and beliefs and talk it out with them. If they abuse you, yell and discriminate you tell them that this conflict won't solve anything.

You are their son or daughter and they probably really love and care about you. They want what's best for you, but that doesn't mean they are right. Tell them that you feel trapped and upset and that you just want to be happy.

Just because you are their offspring does not mean they should disrespect you, works something out, negotiate you should probably read the Quran so you have a definitive understanding of their beliefs.

Hope you work things out.
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08-12-2017, 01:36 AM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(07-12-2017 10:42 PM)Ocean man Wrote:  Hey, I've gone through the exact same thing and my parents have just recently found out I'm not religious.
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08-12-2017, 02:37 AM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(07-12-2017 10:42 PM)Ocean man Wrote:  Hey, I've gone through the exact same thing and my parents have just recently found out I'm not religious.

What I have found to have worked was to stand your ground but to be calm and gentle about your opinions. Acknowledge your parent's opinions and beliefs and talk it out with them. If they abuse you, yell and discriminate you tell them that this conflict won't solve anything.

You are their son or daughter and they probably really love and care about you. They want what's best for you, but that doesn't mean they are right. Tell them that you feel trapped and upset and that you just want to be happy.

Just because you are their offspring does not mean they should disrespect you, works something out, negotiate you should probably read the Quran so you have a definitive understanding of their beliefs.

Hope you work things out.

Thank you for your kindly response, but AtheistAl hasn't visited the site for over two years, and therefore won't see your post. We can only hope that everything eventually worked out okay for him, and that our earlier advice helped in some small way at least.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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08-12-2017, 04:33 AM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
Hi there!

As some others have suggested, for now, just play along with it and keep them happy.

I have a friend who married into a Muslim family (White English dude, muslim divorcee, which in itself was big noo) which has caused all sorts of issues. As for the lady herself, she doesn't really "practice" anymore with Islam, but due to the family 'honor' thing being what it is in that community, when ever she goes round to see her parents, she puts on all the traditional garb etc, because that's what they expect. Outside of their house, she dresses however she wants, but she has to 'play the game' a little bit, when visiting her parents.

For now, play along, you don't have to mean it or do anything overtly religious if you can get away with it, but just play along until you can get out of there, and then you can do whatever you want.
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08-12-2017, 07:54 PM
RE: Dealing with my Muslim family; Advice?
(15-05-2015 12:04 PM)AtheistAl Wrote:  Hi all, I just made an account immediately after hearing of this site.

I don't know what to do, I feel trapped and isolated. I grew up in a very religious Muslim household in the middle east, and we moved to the west back in 2008. Ever since my youth I had strong doubts about Islam and religion in general, and I have been an atheist in secret for the past two years.

I don't know what to do about my family. I am very tired of pretending to be a Muslim just to keep the home peaceful. There is no way to just sit my parents down and talk to them about respecting my religious rights - to them, Islam is the only right religion and anyone else (even other sects) are going to hell. One time, my younger brother was telling me about some of his doubts, and our father heard us, we had to call the police that night.

I am stuck at home and can't move out, I am poor and so is my family. Lately, my parents - especially my mother - is putting a lot of pressure on me to start practicing again. They know I have 'infidel and satanic' ideas about religion but I have not told them that I am an atheist, as I honestly fear for my safety, and I have two younger siblings (not adults) and I don't want my parents to take them back to the middle east so that "they do not get corrupted".

So what do I do? I feel absolutely miserable and trapped, I have no one to talk to about my feelings and I feel trapped. On top of it all, Ramadan is coming up and my parents get even more hyper religious during that month...

Any advice on how to best deal with the situation would be appreciated. Thank you.

That's a really bad situation to be in. I'm sorry it's that way for you. My only advice is to get out of there and on your own as soon as you can. Once you are out then you can come out and the ball will be in their court. Even if they are family, if having a relationship with them requires you to hide and pretend then it would be better not to have a relationship with them in my opinion. Focus your efforts on the goal of becoming independent and let that fuel you. Let that take the place of your misery. At least you'll be taking action and that's always better than stewing. That's my two cents.

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. - Ayn Rand.

Don't sacrifice for me, live for yourself! - Me

The only alternative to Objectivism is some form of Subjectivism. - Dawson Bethrick
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