Dealing with my death sentence...
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22-02-2018, 11:16 PM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
I think Dom’s suggestion of making videos for your son is well worth considering. Tell him all about you, he’ll want to know all about his dad in years to come. Tell him your hopes and dreams for him, how much you love him.

As I write this and try to put myself in your child’s future shoes I think I’d prefer small doses. Many short videos instead of one very long one. Title them. Everything from how to handle fear to how to be a good husband. Make one for his wedding. Talk about the importance of treating people with honesty. How to deal with bullies. How to do whatever you’re good at. How to deal with grief and losing his dad. How to help his mom. Etc...

I think if I were in you I’d go crazy trying to impart all of your life’s learnings for his posterity into a video and letter library.

I really don’t have the words to assuage your situation, my above ideas are me being pragmatic, not insensitive.

I wish you calm and strength DS, I honestly do.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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23-02-2018, 12:04 AM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
Nothing to say Sad Only Hug

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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23-02-2018, 06:33 AM
Dealing with my death sentence...
I am terribly sorry for your scenario.

Not being forthcoming with your child about your situation will ease some of your pain for now, but it changed nothing in respects of his pain that he will feel due to your scenario.

He would most likely be better able to cope with his father there to comfort and guide him through this as long as is possible. If he finds out the extent of your illness after the fact then you will not be there to attempt to comfort and strengthen him.

DO what you know is best for him.

I wish you the very best in all things, and moreso towards your beloved son.

peace friend.



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23-02-2018, 07:56 AM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
SadcryfaceSadcryface2

Wow that's so sad. I can't imagine what you're going through especially with a 7 YO. I like what Dom suggested about the videos. I have pondered this scenario before with my children and what I thought may be good is to create something like a youtube channel for your kids and you can have each video be a different topic for him to hear your thoughts. That way, he can hear from you what you think about whatever you wish to tell him. Just a thought.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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23-02-2018, 08:39 AM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
It's really hard to know what to say except to echo what others have said regarding your son.
It has been my experience both professionally and personally that on the whole people struggle with the grieving process much more when the death of a loved one is sudden and unexpected (which it might be for your son if you choose not to tell him. )
Three years ago my best friend died unexpectedly and two years ago my father passed away from Alzheimer's, ironically I struggle with the death of my friend much more than I struggle with the passing of my father because with my father I had time to say and do all that needed to be said and done. I have witnessed the same difficulties with the relatives of patients I have nursed whose passing was unexpected.
I want to tell you how sorry I am but sorry just seems so inadequate and trite, but please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. Hug
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23-02-2018, 10:07 AM
 
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
What about journaling?

Perhaps as memories come to mind or things pop in your head that you want to one day say to family and friends, it would be good (for you and them) to jot them down.

Just a thought.
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23-02-2018, 10:25 AM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
I am very sorry you are going through this. Hug

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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24-02-2018, 12:24 AM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
Yay you, Dunkleseele! Stand with your toes curled over the edge of oblivion and look around. Do the right thing as far as practically possible and then relax and smile, job well done.
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24-02-2018, 10:37 PM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
I’m really sorry you are going through this. It really sucks, and it’s terribly unfair. I am glad you have the option of assisted suicide. It should be a basic human right for everyone. As for talking to your child, this is so major that professional help is needed. I’d speak with a child psychologist for help in discussing your impending death. Do you have an end of life care service like Hospice here in the U.S.? The ones here have bereavement services for adults and children.
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24-02-2018, 10:49 PM
RE: Dealing with my death sentence...
I am very sorry to hear this. LSD and weed is what I would turn to. I realize the fact that I have already considered this prior to my actual sentence may sound a bit odd, but having already considered this, LSD and weed is what I would turn to. Let your boy watch and hear you trip and dance your way into the abyss with at least grace, if not glee.

There is but one truly serious philosophical problem. - Camus
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