Dealing with terminally ill family member
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16-03-2017, 10:09 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
I'm really sorry you and your mother are going through that. My advice would be, as others have said, to just be there. Love and comfort your mother. No need to bring up religion, but if she brings it up, I would choose to not challenge her belief. If she says "I'll see you in heaven", you could simply say "yes". I think a comforting lie is sometimes acceptable and even kind.
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16-03-2017, 10:15 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
I can tell you that hospice was marvelous to deal with. If it is at all possible to keep her in her home with hospice support that is what they will do. Their in-patient facilities are for people who are very near the end.

I can't help you with the religious shit. My dad was the one who gave me the choice to keep going to church or sleep in on Sundays. I was 13 and chose sleep.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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02-05-2017, 11:00 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
My mom passed away this morning. It really makes me *wish* I still believed in heaven, etc. During her last few weeks she kept saying she just wanted it over with, so from her perspective, it was a relief... But from mine - she was my mom, my only remaining parent (Dad died 25 years ago), and I already miss her more than I can say. I didn't have to have any of "those" discussions (heaven, angels, etc.), thankfully. My mom wasn't one to wear religion like a badge - it was much more private for her. Anyway, just wanted to update this old thread. I agree Hospice was so wonderful, don't know how we'd have made it through the last few months without them.

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02-05-2017, 11:09 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
I don't do grief. No, really, I'm insane.

I'm only here to tell you a story. The first time time I heard that my mother died was from my estranged son, who loved her. My first response?

"Good."

There's context to everything. I told my spawn about his grandma hating life and never fitting it and in the context of my belief in oblivion her passing was the best result. We toasted.

Cry, is what you do. Remember is what you do. And if some fool shows up questioning the value of your mother, educate that fool, is what you do. I don't do grief. I remember.

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02-05-2017, 11:10 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
Glad for her sake that she got her wish.

There is no easy way to get through this. Take it one day at a time. It only ends one way and you'll have to content yourself that she is no longer in pain.

Peace.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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02-05-2017, 11:32 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
So sorry for your loss. *hugs*
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02-05-2017, 11:46 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
My mother died this January too.

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Ceterum censeo, religionem delendam esse
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02-05-2017, 11:53 PM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
(02-05-2017 11:10 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  Take it one day at a time.

Shit becomes a truism because it is true, unfortunately. Sadcryface

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07-05-2017, 12:41 AM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
Be compassionate.
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07-05-2017, 05:09 AM
RE: Dealing with terminally ill family member
(02-05-2017 11:00 PM)Closet-Heathen Wrote:  My mom passed away this morning. It really makes me *wish* I still believed in heaven, etc. During her last few weeks she kept saying she just wanted it over with, so from her perspective, it was a relief... But from mine - she was my mom, my only remaining parent (Dad died 25 years ago), and I already miss her more than I can say. I didn't have to have any of "those" discussions (heaven, angels, etc.), thankfully. My mom wasn't one to wear religion like a badge - it was much more private for her. Anyway, just wanted to update this old thread. I agree Hospice was so wonderful, don't know how we'd have made it through the last few months without them.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm glad the hospice helped--I remember that kind of thing was very helpful when my father-in-law died.
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