Dear Jesus,
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13-12-2013, 05:45 PM
Dear Jesus,
So, I got through a religious retreat and at the very end (by the way, I hated the retreat. Their theme was 'Reality Check' which I thought was fucking ironic) they gave me a paper that they said was a letter from Jesus to me, and the way it was from Jesus was because everything, almost every sentence was from the bible, or at least was sourced in the Bible.

Here is how it went.

My dear child,

I love you (John 15:9). I have called you by name, you are mine (Isaiah 43:1). Before I formed you, I knew you. And before you were born, I consecrated you (Jeremiah 1:5). You did not choose me, I chose you (John 15:16). Because you are precious to me, and honored, I love you ( Isaiah 43:4). I have loved you with an everlasting love and I will continue my constant love (Jeremiah 31:3). How can I abandon you? My love for you is too strong (Hosea 11:8). I love you so much that I hung on the cross at Calvary. I died for you, and if you believe in Me, you will have everlasting life (John 3:16). Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Yet even should she forget, I will never forget you. I cannot forget you. I formed you in the palm of my hands (Isaiah 49:15-16). I am with you always until the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). Do not let your heart be troubled, trust in me (John14:1). I will help you (Isaiah 41:13). When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you. Your troubles will not overwhelm you (Isaiah 41:13). When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, do not be afraid because I am with you. My rod and my staff will comfort you. I will lead you in the path of righteousness (Psalm 23). I will give you peace in the midst of a storm. Don't let your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid (John 14:27). The peace I give you surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). My eyes are upon you and I will give you hope, for I am merciful (Psalm 33:18). You will have access to my grace and rejoice in hope while sharing in the glory of my Father. You may have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice and no one will take your joy from you (John 16:22). Do not worry. Even the hairs on your head have been counted, so there is no need to be afraid of anything (Matthew 10:30). The mountains may depart and the hills will be shaken but my steadfast love for you will never end (Isaiah 54:10). Come unto me, all who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). I will be true and faithful. I will show you constant love and make you mine forever. I will keep my promise, and you will really know me then as never before. I am The Lord your God (Hosea 13:4).

Your Faithful Friend,

Jesus.

After I read this letter, I was handed a pen, and a paper and was told to write a commitment to Jesus, sign it, date it, and keep it on me at all times.

Instead, I flipped over the back of the letter from Jesus and wrote my response, it follows:

Dear Jesus,

Before I commit to you, I must ask: How do you (figuratively) sleep at night? How do you feel, being a bringer of hate, bigotry and ignorance? How does it make you feel knowing hundreds of thousands of children are dying? How does it make you feel to have the power to save millions and yet letting them suffer? How do you feel when you see a malnourished child, crying out your name in prayer, anxiously awaiting the next meal that might never come?

How does it make you feel watching the pain and trauma of a mother, seeing their child suffer from disease and maladies that can't be cured? How does it make you feel, creating a world that can't support all of us? How does it make you feel, to bless a hopeful mother with a child, only to rip that blessing away with a miscarriage? How does it make you feel, seeing millions die, helpless, scared and alone? How does it make you feel knowing that millions will never be remembered? How does it make you feel, knowing that millions have died, and will die because their killers believe it is your will?

How does it make you feel, knowing that your servants abuse children in the most heinous ways? How does it make you feel, knowing that many men extort favors, lives and slaves for their will, all in the name of yours? How does it make you feel when your servants terrorize children with gruesome depictions of hell? How does it make you feel when women are raped, family's are destroyed and children are killed in the name of other gods? How does it make you feel, knowing that some children will never feel the adoration of parents, or the warmth of a hug, let alone shelter or necessities?

Are you OK with all of this? If not, why is it going on?

How about you appear before me and answer these questions, and I'll tell you how to do a better job.

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13-12-2013, 06:02 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
Glad to see you're still alive and kickin'

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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13-12-2013, 06:05 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 06:02 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  Glad to see you're still alive and kickin'

You know I ain't alive if I'm not kicking, Rahn.

How have you been?

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13-12-2013, 06:25 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
Dear Jesus,

Please drop the folks at the DogmaNotThot Retreat a line regarding their portrayal of you. They're putting you across less as the Savior of Mankind and more of a creepy stalker with borderline psychotic codependence and attachment problems. The sort of deity that you get security lights and a rotweiller to keep away. Please find enclosed an injunction from the State barring your omnipresence, any of the other member of "The Trinity", your followers (because that doesn't sound at all creepy) and your scripture from an area 300 feet from me at all times.

Cheers!
Doug the Disturbed
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13-12-2013, 06:56 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
Oh man..I remeber those days in school where we had to write a letter to a fictional character from a story. That was just the worst Dodgy

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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13-12-2013, 07:30 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 06:56 PM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  Oh man..I remeber those days in school where we had to write a letter to a fictional character from a story. That was just the worst Dodgy

Just the fucking worst...

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13-12-2013, 07:41 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 07:30 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 06:56 PM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  Oh man..I remeber those days in school where we had to write a letter to a fictional character from a story. That was just the worst Dodgy

Just the fucking worst...

I had to write a small book. And I was forced to send letters to a pen-pal. Not to mention being forced to teach a younger student the times tables when I didn't understand them at all (still don't).

School's a bitch.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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13-12-2013, 07:44 PM (This post was last modified: 13-12-2013 07:58 PM by DLJ.)
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 05:45 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  So, I got through a religious retreat and at the very end (by the way, I hated the retreat. Their theme was 'Reality Check' which I thought was fucking ironic) they gave me a paper that they said was a letter from Jesus to me, and the way it was from Jesus was because everything, almost every sentence was from the bible, or at least was sourced in the Bible.

Here is how it went.

My dear child,

I love you (John 15:9). I have called you by name, you are mine (Isaiah 43:1). Before I formed you, I knew you. And before you were born, I consecrated you (Jeremiah 1:5). You did not choose me, I chose you (John 15:16). Because you are precious to me, and honored, I love you ( Isaiah 43:4). I have loved you with an everlasting love and I will continue my constant love (Jeremiah 31:3). How can I abandon you? My love for you is too strong (Hosea 11:8). I love you so much that I hung on the cross at Calvary. I died for you, and if you believe in Me, you will have everlasting life (John 3:16). Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Yet even should she forget, I will never forget you. I cannot forget you. I formed you in the palm of my hands (Isaiah 49:15-16). I am with you always until the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). Do not let your heart be troubled, trust in me (John14:1). I will help you (Isaiah 41:13). When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you. Your troubles will not overwhelm you (Isaiah 41:13). When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, do not be afraid because I am with you. My rod and my staff will comfort you. I will lead you in the path of righteousness (Psalm 23). I will give you peace in the midst of a storm. Don't let your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid (John 14:27). The peace I give you surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). My eyes are upon you and I will give you hope, for I am merciful (Psalm 33:18). You will have access to my grace and rejoice in hope while sharing in the glory of my Father. You may have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice and no one will take your joy from you (John 16:22). Do not worry. Even the hairs on your head have been counted, so there is no need to be afraid of anything (Matthew 10:30). The mountains may depart and the hills will be shaken but my steadfast love for you will never end (Isaiah 54:10). Come unto me, all who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). I will be true and faithful. I will show you constant love and make you mine forever. I will keep my promise, and you will really know me then as never before. I am The Lord your God (Hosea 13:4).

Your Faithful Friend,

Jesus.

After I read this letter, I was handed a pen, and a paper and was told to write a commitment to Jesus, sign it, date it, and keep it on me at all times.

Instead, I flipped over the back of the letter from Jesus and wrote my response, it follows:

Dear Jesus,

Before I commit to you, I must ask: How do you (figuratively) sleep at night? How do you feel, being a bringer of hate, bigotry and ignorance? How does it make you feel knowing hundreds of thousands of children are dying? How does it make you feel to have the power to save millions and yet letting them suffer? How do you feel when you see a malnourished child, crying out your name in prayer, anxiously awaiting the next meal that might never come?

How does it make you feel watching the pain and trauma of a mother, seeing their child suffer from disease and maladies that can't be cured? How does it make you feel, creating a world that can't support all of us? How does it make you feel, to bless a hopeful mother with a child, only to rip that blessing away with a miscarriage? How does it make you feel, seeing millions die, helpless, scared and alone? How does it make you feel knowing that millions will never be remembered? How does it make you feel, knowing that millions have died, and will die because their killers believe it is your will?

How does it make you feel, knowing that your servants abuse children in the most heinous ways? How does it make you feel, knowing that many men extort favors, lives and slaves for their will, all in the name of yours? How does it make you feel when your servants terrorize children with gruesome depictions of hell? How does it make you feel when women are raped, family's are destroyed and children are killed in the name of other gods? How does it make you feel, knowing that some children will never feel the adoration of parents, or the warmth of a hug, let alone shelter or necessities?

Are you OK with all of this? If not, why is it going on?

How about you appear before me and answer these questions, and I'll tell you how to do a better job.

Dear My Child,
You don't get how this works.
All the evils of the world will be gone when, and only when, all god's children believe in me.
You must help by converting all the others.
Get with the program or STFU.

Yours,
Jesus.

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13-12-2013, 07:50 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
I recently received a similar letter from my in-laws. If you take take out the bible chapters and verses it reads like a stalker letter.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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13-12-2013, 07:57 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 07:50 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I recently received a similar letter from my in-laws. If you take take out the bible chapters and verses it reads like a stalker letter.

Wat

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
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