Dear Jesus,
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13-12-2013, 08:06 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 07:57 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 07:50 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I recently received a similar letter from my in-laws. If you take take out the bible chapters and verses it reads like a stalker letter.

Wat

Here's the one I got:

Here is a Letter from God to all of us...

My Dear Child:

You may not know me, but I know everything about YOU -- Psalm 139:1. I know when YOU sit down and when you rise up -- Psalm 139:2. I am familiar with all your ways -- Psalm 139:3. Even the very hairs on your head are numbered -- Matthew 10:29-31. For YOU were made in my image -- Genesis 1:27. In me you live and move and have your being - Acts 17:28. For you are my offspring - Acts 17:28. I knew YOU even before you were conceived -- Jeremiah 1:4-5. I chose YOU when I planned creation -- Ephesians 1:11-12. YOU were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book -- Psalm 139:15-16. I determined the exact time of your birth and where YOU would live -- Acts 17:26. You are fearfully and wonderfully made -- Psalm 139:14. I knit YOU together in your mother's womb -- Psalm 139:13. And brought you forth on the day you were born -- Psalm 71:6. I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me -- John 8:41-44. I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love -- I John 4:16. And it is my desire to lavish my love on YOU -- I John 3:1. Simply because you are my child and I am your father -- I John 3:1. I offer YOU more than your earthly father ever could -- Matthew 7:11. For I am the perfect father -- Matthew 5:48. Every good gift that YOU receive comes from my hand -- James 1:17. For I am your provider and I meet all your needs -- Matthew 6:31-33. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope -- Jeremiah 29:11. Because I love YOU with an everlasting love -- Jeremiah 31:3. My thoughts towards you are countless as the sand on the seashore -- Psalm 139:17-18. And I rejoice over YOU with singing -- Zephaniah 3:17. I will never stop doing good to YOU - Jeremiah 32:40. For you are my treasured possession -- Exodus 19:5. I desire to establish YOU with all my heart and all my soul -- Jeremiah 32:41. And I want to show YOU great and marvelous things -- Jeremiah 33:3. If you seek me with all your heart you will find me - Deuteronomy 4:29. Delight in me and I will give YOU the desires of your heart -- Psalm 37:4. For it is I who gave YOU those desires -- Philippians 2:13. I am able to do more for YOU than you could possibly imagine - Ephesians 3:20. For I am your greatest encourager - 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. I am also the Father who comforts YOU in all your troubles -- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to YOU - Psalm 34:18. As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried YOU close to my heart -- Isaiah 40:11. One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes -- Revelation 21:3-4. And I'll take away all the pain YOU have suffered on this earth -- Revelation 21:3-4. I am your Father, and I love YOU even as I love my son Jesus -- John 17:23. For in Jesus, my love for YOU is realized -- John 17:26. He is the exact representation of my being -- Hebrews 1:3. He came to demonstrate that I am for YOU not against you -- Romans 8:31. And to tell you that I am not counting your sins -- 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. Jesus died so that YOU and I could be reconciled - 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for YOU -- I John 4:10. I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love -- Romans 8:31-32. If YOU receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me -- I John 2:23. And nothing will ever separate you from my love again -- Roman's 8:38-39. Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen -- Luke 15:7. I have always been Father, and will always be Father -- Ephesians 3:14-15. My question is "Will YOU be my child?" -- John 1:12-13. I am waiting for YOU -- Luke 15:11-32.

Love, Your Father, Almighty God


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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13-12-2013, 08:34 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 08:06 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 07:57 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Wat

Here's the one I got:

Here is a Letter from God to all of us...

My Dear Child:

You may not know me, but I know everything about YOU -- Psalm 139:1. I know when YOU sit down and when you rise up -- Psalm 139:2. I am familiar with all your ways -- Psalm 139:3. Even the very hairs on your head are numbered -- Matthew 10:29-31. For YOU were made in my image -- Genesis 1:27. In me you live and move and have your being - Acts 17:28. For you are my offspring - Acts 17:28. I knew YOU even before you were conceived -- Jeremiah 1:4-5. I chose YOU when I planned creation -- Ephesians 1:11-12. YOU were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book -- Psalm 139:15-16. I determined the exact time of your birth and where YOU would live -- Acts 17:26. You are fearfully and wonderfully made -- Psalm 139:14. I knit YOU together in your mother's womb -- Psalm 139:13. And brought you forth on the day you were born -- Psalm 71:6. I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me -- John 8:41-44. I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love -- I John 4:16. And it is my desire to lavish my love on YOU -- I John 3:1. Simply because you are my child and I am your father -- I John 3:1. I offer YOU more than your earthly father ever could -- Matthew 7:11. For I am the perfect father -- Matthew 5:48. Every good gift that YOU receive comes from my hand -- James 1:17. For I am your provider and I meet all your needs -- Matthew 6:31-33. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope -- Jeremiah 29:11. Because I love YOU with an everlasting love -- Jeremiah 31:3. My thoughts towards you are countless as the sand on the seashore -- Psalm 139:17-18. And I rejoice over YOU with singing -- Zephaniah 3:17. I will never stop doing good to YOU - Jeremiah 32:40. For you are my treasured possession -- Exodus 19:5. I desire to establish YOU with all my heart and all my soul -- Jeremiah 32:41. And I want to show YOU great and marvelous things -- Jeremiah 33:3. If you seek me with all your heart you will find me - Deuteronomy 4:29. Delight in me and I will give YOU the desires of your heart -- Psalm 37:4. For it is I who gave YOU those desires -- Philippians 2:13. I am able to do more for YOU than you could possibly imagine - Ephesians 3:20. For I am your greatest encourager - 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. I am also the Father who comforts YOU in all your troubles -- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to YOU - Psalm 34:18. As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried YOU close to my heart -- Isaiah 40:11. One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes -- Revelation 21:3-4. And I'll take away all the pain YOU have suffered on this earth -- Revelation 21:3-4. I am your Father, and I love YOU even as I love my son Jesus -- John 17:23. For in Jesus, my love for YOU is realized -- John 17:26. He is the exact representation of my being -- Hebrews 1:3. He came to demonstrate that I am for YOU not against you -- Romans 8:31. And to tell you that I am not counting your sins -- 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. Jesus died so that YOU and I could be reconciled - 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for YOU -- I John 4:10. I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love -- Romans 8:31-32. If YOU receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me -- I John 2:23. And nothing will ever separate you from my love again -- Roman's 8:38-39. Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen -- Luke 15:7. I have always been Father, and will always be Father -- Ephesians 3:14-15. My question is "Will YOU be my child?" -- John 1:12-13. I am waiting for YOU -- Luke 15:11-32.

Love, Your Father, Almighty God

... I wonder what would happen if you handed the letter to a cop and said you were getting creepy letters (maybe throw in being frightened for laughs)...

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
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13-12-2013, 09:17 PM (This post was last modified: 13-12-2013 09:21 PM by grizzlysnake.)
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 08:06 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 07:57 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Wat

Here's the one I got:

Here is a Letter from God to all of us...

My Dear Child:

You may not know me, but I know everything about YOU -- Psalm 139:1. I know when YOU sit down and when you rise up -- Psalm 139:2. I am familiar with all your ways -- Psalm 139:3. Even the very hairs on your head are numbered -- Matthew 10:29-31. For YOU were made in my image -- Genesis 1:27. In me you live and move and have your being - Acts 17:28. For you are my offspring - Acts 17:28. I knew YOU even before you were conceived -- Jeremiah 1:4-5. I chose YOU when I planned creation -- Ephesians 1:11-12. YOU were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book -- Psalm 139:15-16. I determined the exact time of your birth and where YOU would live -- Acts 17:26. You are fearfully and wonderfully made -- Psalm 139:14. I knit YOU together in your mother's womb -- Psalm 139:13. And brought you forth on the day you were born -- Psalm 71:6. I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me -- John 8:41-44. I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love -- I John 4:16. And it is my desire to lavish my love on YOU -- I John 3:1. Simply because you are my child and I am your father -- I John 3:1. I offer YOU more than your earthly father ever could -- Matthew 7:11. For I am the perfect father -- Matthew 5:48. Every good gift that YOU receive comes from my hand -- James 1:17. For I am your provider and I meet all your needs -- Matthew 6:31-33. My plan for your future has always been filled with hope -- Jeremiah 29:11. Because I love YOU with an everlasting love -- Jeremiah 31:3. My thoughts towards you are countless as the sand on the seashore -- Psalm 139:17-18. And I rejoice over YOU with singing -- Zephaniah 3:17. I will never stop doing good to YOU - Jeremiah 32:40. For you are my treasured possession -- Exodus 19:5. I desire to establish YOU with all my heart and all my soul -- Jeremiah 32:41. And I want to show YOU great and marvelous things -- Jeremiah 33:3. If you seek me with all your heart you will find me - Deuteronomy 4:29. Delight in me and I will give YOU the desires of your heart -- Psalm 37:4. For it is I who gave YOU those desires -- Philippians 2:13. I am able to do more for YOU than you could possibly imagine - Ephesians 3:20. For I am your greatest encourager - 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. I am also the Father who comforts YOU in all your troubles -- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to YOU - Psalm 34:18. As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried YOU close to my heart -- Isaiah 40:11. One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes -- Revelation 21:3-4. And I'll take away all the pain YOU have suffered on this earth -- Revelation 21:3-4. I am your Father, and I love YOU even as I love my son Jesus -- John 17:23. For in Jesus, my love for YOU is realized -- John 17:26. He is the exact representation of my being -- Hebrews 1:3. He came to demonstrate that I am for YOU not against you -- Romans 8:31. And to tell you that I am not counting your sins -- 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. Jesus died so that YOU and I could be reconciled - 2 Corinthians 5:18-19. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for YOU -- I John 4:10. I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love -- Romans 8:31-32. If YOU receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me -- I John 2:23. And nothing will ever separate you from my love again -- Roman's 8:38-39. Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen -- Luke 15:7. I have always been Father, and will always be Father -- Ephesians 3:14-15. My question is "Will YOU be my child?" -- John 1:12-13. I am waiting for YOU -- Luke 15:11-32.

Love, Your Father, Almighty God
Oh wow.. This reminds me of this



It's a great song but when you really listen to the lyrics it's like an obsessed lover/stalker song.

"I don't have to have faith, I have experience." Joseph Campbell
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13-12-2013, 09:23 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 09:17 PM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  Oh wow.. This reminds me of this



It's a great song but when you really listen to the lyrics it's like an obsessed lover/stalker song.




It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


Magic Talking Snakes STFU -- revenantx77


You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
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13-12-2013, 09:41 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
Ato's response to his was much better than mine… I just ignored my in-laws. Smile


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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13-12-2013, 09:52 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 07:30 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 06:56 PM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  Oh man..I remeber those days in school where we had to write a letter to a fictional character from a story. That was just the worst Dodgy

Just the fucking worst...

Doesn't sound bad at all, I would have had some fun with that.

Absolute Certainty’s most constant companion is Wrongheadedness.
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13-12-2013, 10:41 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 05:45 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Dear Jesus,
Before I commit to you, I must ask: How do you (figuratively) sleep at night? How do you feel, being a bringer of hate, bigotry and ignorance? How does it make you feel knowing hundreds of thousands of children are dying? How does it make you feel to have the power to save millions and yet letting them suffer? How do you feel when you see a malnourished child, crying out your name in prayer, anxiously awaiting the next meal that might never come?

How does it make you feel watching the pain and trauma of a mother, seeing their child suffer from disease and maladies that can't be cured? How does it make you feel, creating a world that can't support all of us? How does it make you feel, to bless a hopeful mother with a child, only to rip that blessing away with a miscarriage? How does it make you feel, seeing millions die, helpless, scared and alone? How does it make you feel knowing that millions will never be remembered? How does it make you feel, knowing that millions have died, and will die because their killers believe it is your will?

How does it make you feel, knowing that your servants abuse children in the most heinous ways? How does it make you feel, knowing that many men extort favors, lives and slaves for their will, all in the name of yours? How does it make you feel when your servants terrorize children with gruesome depictions of hell? How does it make you feel when women are raped, family's are destroyed and children are killed in the name of other gods? How does it make you feel, knowing that some children will never feel the adoration of parents, or the warmth of a hug, let alone shelter or necessities?

Are you OK with all of this? If not, why is it going on?

How about you appear before me and answer these questions, and I'll tell you how to do a better job.

Dear little brother of Mine,
those are very good questions.
Heavens are crying when children of God hate each other and do evil to each other. It is hard to see sick and hungry and afflicted.
I know how they feel because about 2000 years ago I LITERALLY took upon Myself every pain and every sickness and every temptation of EVERY man and woman that lived/live/will live on Earth. When I was in the Garden of Gethsemane I atoned for all people so all of them one day may live forever and be free from pain and suffering.
That hour in Gethsemane became like an eternity to Me. I felt every pain you felt, feel and will feel in the future. You can not comprehend this but I want you to know this. Nobody can know your pains better than I do.
But before you came to this Earth you had FAITH IN ME. And because you had faith in Me YOU CHOSE to come here and to KNOW about good AND evil.
And every person that is born on Earth made this choice long time ago.
You are here to KNOW good and evil because you wanted to become like our Father. You forgot about this but I am reminding you.
I send Prophets and they teach this. I MAY give you witness - Holy Ghost and He can testify to you about this truth when you are READY to receive it.

P.S. I know that Jesus would tell you something like this IF you were ready to hear.

English is not my native language.
that awkward moment between the Premortal Existence and your Resurrection
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13-12-2013, 11:04 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
(13-12-2013 10:41 PM)Alla Wrote:  
(13-12-2013 05:45 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Dear Jesus,
Before I commit to you, I must ask: How do you (figuratively) sleep at night? How do you feel, being a bringer of hate, bigotry and ignorance? How does it make you feel knowing hundreds of thousands of children are dying? How does it make you feel to have the power to save millions and yet letting them suffer? How do you feel when you see a malnourished child, crying out your name in prayer, anxiously awaiting the next meal that might never come?

How does it make you feel watching the pain and trauma of a mother, seeing their child suffer from disease and maladies that can't be cured? How does it make you feel, creating a world that can't support all of us? How does it make you feel, to bless a hopeful mother with a child, only to rip that blessing away with a miscarriage? How does it make you feel, seeing millions die, helpless, scared and alone? How does it make you feel knowing that millions will never be remembered? How does it make you feel, knowing that millions have died, and will die because their killers believe it is your will?

How does it make you feel, knowing that your servants abuse children in the most heinous ways? How does it make you feel, knowing that many men extort favors, lives and slaves for their will, all in the name of yours? How does it make you feel when your servants terrorize children with gruesome depictions of hell? How does it make you feel when women are raped, family's are destroyed and children are killed in the name of other gods? How does it make you feel, knowing that some children will never feel the adoration of parents, or the warmth of a hug, let alone shelter or necessities?

Are you OK with all of this? If not, why is it going on?

How about you appear before me and answer these questions, and I'll tell you how to do a better job.

Dear little brother of Mine,
those are very good questions.
Heavens are crying when children of God hate each other and do evil to each other. It is hard to see sick and hungry and afflicted.
I know how they feel because about 2000 years ago I LITERALLY took upon Myself every pain and every sickness and every temptation of EVERY man and woman that lived/live/will live on Earth. When I was in the Garden of Gethsemane I atoned for all people so all of them one day may live forever and be free from pain and suffering.
That hour in Gethsemane became like an eternity to Me. I felt every pain you felt, feel and will feel in the future. You can not comprehend this but I want you to know this. Nobody can know your pains better than I do.
But before you came to this Earth you had FAITH IN ME. And because you had faith in Me YOU CHOSE to come here and to KNOW about good AND evil.
And every person that is born on Earth made this choice long time ago.
You are here to KNOW good and evil because you wanted to become like our Father. You forgot about this but I am reminding you.
I send Prophets and they teach this. I MAY give you witness - Holy Ghost and He can testify to you about this truth when you are READY to receive it.

P.S. I know that Jesus would tell you something like this IF you were ready to hear.

No you didn't. That's fucking stupid, go away.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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13-12-2013, 11:07 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
[quote='Alla' pid='442745' dateline='1386996061']

Dear little brother of Mine,

[Image: blah-blah-blah-o.gif]
/quote]

You know, I tried so hard to find a clean video of the Jon Stewart Choir singing "Go Fuck Yourself" for you. Doesn't look like the Interwebz is going to cooperate tonight, but as a Consolation Prize, there's this:

[Image: go-fuck-yourself-disney-with-a-vengeance....gif?w=480]

It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


Magic Talking Snakes STFU -- revenantx77


You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
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13-12-2013, 11:33 PM
RE: Dear Jesus,
OH, I forgot to mention this:

[Image: Too+_f6be8c3067bd93de6370b7f74187b6cc.jpg]

It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


Magic Talking Snakes STFU -- revenantx77


You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
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